Anonymous wrote:DH and I are from the Northeast. I went to a public magnet and DH graduated at the top of his public high school. We met at an Ivy grad school. A few years ago, we moved to a well regarded public school system in the DMV. Our kids are doing well in the local public, have lots of friends, play sports, etc. Every one of DH’s professional colleagues send their kids to private and often suggest that we also send our kids to private. A few of them are on the board or know the board and can get our kids in. The schools will take us 30+ minutes per direction and can easily be an hour during rush hour. Public schools are 1-2 miles away from our school.

Would you switch your kids to private?

Not unless you have a far better reason than wanting your DH to fit in with his work colleagues. Your kids will figure out at some point they’ve lost their friends because Daddy needed to keep up with the Jones.

NO

No, the people telling you to switch are trying to justify their own choices. It has nothing to do with what’s best for you.

No, I went to a private school that involved a commute and having friends and activities spread across the city. I hated it and only lasted 2 years (this was middle school).

My kids now go to neighborhood schools. All their friends and extracurriculars are close by. They ride the bus to school, but sometimes my DH walks them the 1 mi on nice days. They play outside with the neighborhood kids after school (when they don’t have sports practices). We are friends with a lot of the parents nearby so it’s easy to trade off helping a neighbor with carpooling to birthday parties and sports since our social network is all within ~5 min of our house. As for the school itself, they have fantastic teachers, and one of my kids has SNs and we’ve been really happy with the level of support he gets at school.

All this to say that having a local network can be so amazing for kids and families. I would not add a long commute to my kids’ days just because some colleagues suggest it. The only way I’d look into a private that would upend my family’s schedule is if we were unhappy with the public school for some reason and/or my kids were not doing well there.

Don’t take them away from their friends and teachers just to keep up with the Joneses.

"Every one of DH’s professional colleagues send their kids to private and often suggest that we also send our kids to private."

No, I wouldn't switch on this basis alone.

People feel differently about commutes. That commute would be a big NO for me and my husband, and even in high school I wouldn’t be thrilled about my young new drivers driving that far in the morning. For other people, it’s not that big a deal. How do you feel about driving? Your kids?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I question the ability of you board-member colleagues to actually guarantee your kids’ acceptance to the school in the first place.

Yeah, they can’t.

I'm stuck on this point, too. Maybe if they go to schools that are hurting for applicants?

OP, if private is an option, why not take a look at the schools and see what they have to offer? Commute can just be one factor in your decision. I have one in public and one in private (they get to choose, and this is what's best for each of them, for a variety of reasons). The public is certainly an easier commute!!

I wouldn't! If you and the kids are happy, why rock the boat? Commuting time is a BIG deal in my opinion. Sometimes it's hard to do something differently than the rest of your social circle is doing (in this case, your husbands colleagues), but you just have to be confident in your decision and keep doing what you are doing. Even for families that can afford private school, it's frankly a huge financial hit each month, and the money saved can give you lots of cushion for college, savings, vacations, and just general comfort, security, and flexibility.

I am a private school parent. I would absolutely not if your kids are doing well in public. There is no need to make your life more difficult. I didn't read through to see if you updated with the kids ages but in elementary and basically up until the kids can drive themselves parents really seem to focus on friendships where the kids live nearby. At our K-8 kids who lived more than a few miles from school were just not as socially connected. Just one of many reasons to not "fix" something that isn't broken.

Anonymous wrote:Never, ever follow the "Joneses"....Do what's best for your kids and family! Group think is a very dangerous and infectious disease.

I’m not trying to follow the Joneses. I do not doubt the personalized attention and extras will be better at private. I am wondering if those extras are worth the extra inconvenience of spending extra time in the car. My kids have impromptu play dates often. We carpool to sports.

No. We only considered private schools within a short drive from our house. And we only considered private at all because of problems at public: if all was well, would not have moved to private.

Kid is a candidate for a selective magnet HS and we probably won't apply because it's 30 minutes away without traffic. No thanks.

American society is lonely enough without creating an artificial isolation from the community you live in as early as elementary school.

A good neighborhood school in a good district is worth more than a fancy commuter private school. You get to know who the neighborhood kids are and they are often in walkable and short distance from you, which makes playdates and spontaneous gatherings much more likely.

No.

My oldest has special needs and for a while we needed to drive past his public home school to the public school that had his program, but it was a 20 minute from our house, so not too bad.

Never, ever follow the "Joneses"....Do what's best for your kids and family! Group think is a very dangerous and infectious disease.