Anonymous wrote:It is tough working full time and then coming home parenting full time. Many days you feel like your day starts when you come home to your child! It’s exhausting. Give him a break.

But why should she put up with a guy who can’t pay her much attention?

Find someone else, op.

He could make time to reply if he wanted to

None of my relationships that began from scarce texting resulted in anything serious

Anonymous wrote:Wondering. He works by himself in construction and has his daughter all the time 100% custody. He responds to my texts a day or a few days after I send them. It's irritating me. I have no kids but he says that he texts when he can. He also doesn't want to say why he has 100% custody.

No one in construction is social texting from 7am to 4pm.

Is this yet another outlandish troll post?

What else will you add. He’s based in China?

I detest texting conversations.

Texts should be used to make plans to meet up. That's it.

Maybe he has ADHD. I find it excruciating to keep up with texts.

Maybe he has more important people to text.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he has 100% custody, then the mother is a hot mess.

I would question it if he says 100 percent custody. What does that mean? Mom is in jail? Even if she lives out of the country she would have some custody.

Not true. Depends on where the divorce happened.

A guy lied to me about this. He was married.

I'm the female version of him.

Is this a serious relationship?

If you've just started dating and it's casual, yeah he doesn't have capacity right now to have all day long text conversations with someone he's just met. You get to the end of the day with a full-time job, then full-time parent and it is a lot to then be "on" again with someone in your life who is new. I think the comparisons with people who are married to spouses with high-demand jobs is unfair. It's a lot of work at first carrying on a conversation in a new relationship and finding fun and charming things to say. It's different when it's a longer-term relationship and the familiar banter is easy.

I would cut him so slack. But if you can't and you need constant contact than let him go. Because trust me there is nothing less fun than giving all to work, giving all to your kid and then hopping on text or going out with someone who is constantly disappointed in what you have capacity to give.

He might dislike texting.

There's a difference between "Can you come over at 3" "Ok" kind of text and having a conversation over text where you need to be witty and engaged. Some posters have mentioned their SOs are surgeons and investment bankers - they are busy people but they are also educated and probably comfortable communicating in writing.

For a construction worker, he might just see texting as a means to an end to communicate things that don't require a phone call but it may not be his personal preferred method of getting to know someone.

NEXT.

Anonymous wrote:He’s just not that into you. I have a surgeon husband and he has always texted/called me multiple times during med school, residency, fellowship and now as a busy surgeon. Between multiple surgeries, even when there is an emergency, he can find time to text me during the day.

I had a friend who dated a surgical resident and he often didn’t call or text her for days saying he is busy. Anyone can find the time. Same for investment banking or law. It is easy to say you are busy.

+1. Dated and married an investment banker turned hedge fund manager. He has never struggled to make me a clear priority.

His daughter and his job that supports her are taking priority. Better dump him.

Anonymous wrote:He’s just not that into you. I have a surgeon husband and he has always texted/called me multiple times during med school, residency, fellowship and now as a busy surgeon. Between multiple surgeries, even when there is an emergency, he can find time to text me during the day.

I had a friend who dated a surgical resident and he often didn’t call or text her for days saying he is busy. Anyone can find the time. Same for investment banking or law. It is easy to say you are busy.

I take my comment back. A single busy person is very different than a single dad busy person.

Anonymous wrote:Or: He might be interested but doesn’t have the bandwidth to focus on you as a priority right now, or at least not as much as you can focus on him. Be kind but I agree with those who say to keep your options open. I recall being so slammed at work when i was single that I lost people I was interested in, because I just didn’t have the mental capacity to text and call as much as they needed or expected.

I can understand that. When I was a single mom there was a lot of time that I didn't have what it took to nurture a relationship. If that's where he is, he should say so.

Whe does his being a single dad with 100% custody raise flags for anyone? Women can be deadbeats, mentally ill etc. just like men and.