Context is everything.

I’m not beautiful at all, but I’m approachable pretty. My husband hasn’t complimented my appearance more than twice in twenty years but random men comment all the time. I also make the good ones uncomfortable even when I’m just trying to be normal. And if there is a creep in the group, they will proposition me. Literally. I’m not 55 yet.

I think the problem is not me.

It’s especially irritating when you’re 60 and a male waiter will refer to you and a friend as “lovely young ladies.” We know we are neither and don’t get some deluded Blanche Devereaux thrill from hearing otherwise.

Anonymous wrote:No. I'm just trying to live my life. I don't want unsolicited assessments of my looks, good or bad.

Also, honestly? It's so unoriginal. Notice something else.

But not my striking blue eyes. They barely escape notice and comments.

Anonymous wrote:I don't care about some random man's opinion of me. I don't want him assessing me. He should keep his thoughts to himself.

My husband? He can tell me.

This. My 16 yo said it to me yesterday and I felt happy. I've been told that all my life, but it means more when I hear it from dh or children. I know they mean it and they want nothing from me.
-52yo

Unfortunately women are judged a lot by men based solely on their look. So it's not surprising that many have low self esteem as a result.

Anonymous wrote:I love receiving a genuine compliment from anyone, including my husband of course.

Catcalling is not the same. That has a power dynamic that makes it horrible.

But a man or a woman simply telling me I’m
beautiful? I’ll take it—with gratitude.

I’ve had people, men an women, complement you look nice, or I love your necklace or something similar. It’s nice to be noticed. Most are sincere not cheesy or flirting. It feels nice. Puts a smile on my face.

I’ll take it—with gratitude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, ALL women love to be told how beautiful they are…

But only by those they love most especially.
Not random men or people w/an agenda! 😠

And my personal opinion is that especially women over the age of 55+ love being told this because after 55+, many women may feel as if they are invisible or just not attractive anymore.

(Unless they are J Lo who will be 55 this summer and looks 100000x better than she did at 25!)

JLo looks older than 55.
She looks 70 to me. :/

She actually doesn't look 70. I've seen her in person and her skin was stunning.

I love receiving a genuine compliment from anyone, including my husband of course.

Catcalling is not the same. That has a power dynamic that makes it horrible.

But a man or a woman simply telling me I’m
beautiful? I’ll take it—with gratitude.

Only if it's true.

Anonymous wrote:I don't care about some random man's opinion of me. I don't want him assessing me. He should keep his thoughts to himself.

My husband? He can tell me.

This.

And op, 15 year olds are not women and you should not be speaking to them period unless you are a 15 year old boy and then you can call your girlfriend beautiful.

No. I'm just trying to live my life. I don't want unsolicited assessments of my looks, good or bad.

Also, honestly? It's so unoriginal. Notice something else.

Anonymous wrote:I love it when my husband comments on how I look. We’ve been married forever but I still love to hear it and it happens a few times a week.

And the inverse of this: my husband NEVER tells me I am beautiful and it is a major underlying issue in our marriage. I know he loves me and I know he wants to have sex with me but he says it’s “not him” to be effusive with praise. Which is somewhat true.But I still would like a natural and casual “oh you look nice” or “ you are so beautiful” once in a while.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am over 40 but actually had two men politely tell me in the last year when walking by that I am so beautiful. It is flattering but I don't seek it out.

Have you ever been in a situation where men remarking on your attractiveness was unwanted or even threatening?

Not with these two men who spoke to me politely in a way that was not flirtatious, but when I was in my 20s living in a more dangerous city, it occasionally would happen when I was walking by myself and men would catcall or whistle, and I would just ignore - didn't feel unsafe but I didn't want their attention. Actually now that I recall, there was a time I got off the subway, and a man asked me, "Can I tuck you in?" It was very creepy, and I made sure to walk quickly in the other direction.

I'm good with "Hi, Beautiful," with an affectionate kiss or nudge, but looking deeply into my eyes and saying "You are so beautiful" would be too much. And minus points if they say it all the time like that guy in Love is Blind Sweden.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, ALL women love to be told how beautiful they are…

But only by those they love most especially.
Not random men or people w/an agenda! 😠

And my personal opinion is that especially women over the age of 55+ love being told this because after 55+, many women may feel as if they are invisible or just not attractive anymore.

(Unless they are J Lo who will be 55 this summer and looks 100000x better than she did at 25!)

JLo looks older than 55.
She looks 70 to me. :/