Maybe read with closer comprehension. The objective for a few is indeed to talk about how they're pined for, but most posts here have been about the posters pining for someone else. So what if this comes up as a thread occasionally? Click on by, PP, and don't waste your energy being the forum police. You dislike the topic yet you just had to comment...

You dislike the post but felt threatened enough to be a hypocrite by attempting to be forum police yourself. Live what you write.

It comes up because sad people (i.e., you) cannot live in the present moment. How is pinning for another any less sad than believing someone is pinning for you?

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Be good to those in your life today, and do not worry about former romantic partners.

Or wallow.

Up to you.

I'm the one who got away. My ex bf has let me know this several times. We broke up 25 years ago - he cheated on me while he was in law school, and married her (they seem to be a really good fit.)

But over the years I'll get a drunken facebook message telling me how his family was mad at him, how I was the one who got away, how he thinks about this alternate life.

I suspect this is all less about me and more about the fact that we were still pretty young and things were fun then.

I've been very happily married for 15 years and I don't regret not marrying the ex at all.

I'll admit it was vindication when he first started messaging, but I've told him to stop several times. It feels gross and isn't fair to his wife.

Anonymous wrote:No, I moved on from my exes for good reasons so there is no looking back. They had some good traits but nothing like my husband. Thanks to social media I have a sense for where they are today and what they are doing. And I’m glad I’m not a part of their lives. I don’t know if I’m the one who got away but it would be fun to know.

Yeah spouse is on another level from exes, no contest.

Anonymous wrote:We see variations of this post at least once a month, and usually more often (e.g., " What happened to the one who got away? " " Are you the one who got away? " etc.).

It is trite and self-serving since the objective is for posters to write about how someone is still pining for them. Please, grow up and stop this.

Maybe read with closer comprehension. The objective for a few is indeed to talk about how they're pined for, but most posts here have been about the posters pining for someone else. So what if this comes up as a thread occasionally? Click on by, PP, and don't waste your energy being the forum police. You dislike the topic yet you just had to comment...

We see variations of this post at least once a month, and usually more often (e.g., " What happened to the one who got away? " " Are you the one who got away? " etc.).

It is trite and self-serving since the objective is for posters to write about how someone is still pining for them. Please, grow up and stop this.

I have one where I sometimes think "I wonder what would have happened..."

We broke up bc of distance and bc at the time, neither of us were prepared to move. But I think we would have if we could have stuck it out a bit longer.

We are still social media friends and they have a beautiful family (as do I), but I sometimes think there is an alternate reality where we could have been happy

No, I moved on from my exes for good reasons so there is no looking back. They had some good traits but nothing like my husband. Thanks to social media I have a sense for where they are today and what they are doing. And I’m glad I’m not a part of their lives. I don’t know if I’m the one who got away but it would be fun to know.

I have a few.

The one I should have married, who married the woman after me. We were best friends and he's genuinely the best person I've every known. But I didn't understand at 21 that you could build on that. I thought passion was ultra-important. Anyway, we're still in casual touch but I would never do anything to interfere with his life. He deserves all good things.

The one I thought I would marry. He never got married and I am now divorced. We've been hanging out lately after not being in touch for 20+ years. I have no idea if there's anything still there for me, but it's been fun catching up.

There are a couple more but as a PP said, it's mostly unfinished business there, not necessarily regret.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty sure I'm the one who got away for at least 3 of my boyfriends...💁‍♀️

I hate to humblebrag (😆) but I am of similar mindset.

Welcome to the delulu club!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty sure I'm the one who got away for at least 3 of my boyfriends...💁‍♀️

I hate to humblebrag (😆) but I am of similar mindset.

DH here. We don’t pine for the “one who got away” unless we have a dead bedroom. Bird in the hand and all that.

Anonymous wrote:I definitely do, think about it a lot these days.
First saw her around Martha’s Vineyard about 20 years ago. Came right out of the water looking all glistening and beautiful. My buddies encouraged me to see if I could get her into my boat. I was patient and determined and when I finally thought I had her hooked, she spat out everything and disappeared.
Must’ve been 30 lb of striped bass on the line and just like that, gone.

I’m the one who got away for at least two ex boyfriends, possibly three. I was way out of their league, but I didn’t see it at the time. I thought my looks were well below average and dated accordingly. Kind of like body dysmorphia, but for the face. It took years to get that emotional knot worked out, and I regret that it affected other people in the process. Being the one who got away really isn’t something to be proud of.

It’s always the one with unfinished business…and suddenly all the love songs were about you.

DH is definitely "the one".

But there is one from late in college that had unfinished business. We were friends in HS, crossed paths a bit in college (different schools, far away). Towards the middle or end of college we had some moments. There was something there. He was also a bit older than I am and graduated and moved further away to start his life. There was some instant messaging (Lol) for a bit. But we were never again single at the same time and it tapered off.

Fast forward to a few years ago, we both left our home state and ended up about 20 minutes away from each other. Our paths haven't crossed. I've met up with a ton of other old friends who now live in my area including men, but I can't go out of my way to meet him. I can't explain it, since usually dh and I have no problem with being friends with people of the opposite sex but this one is different.

I used to think a lot about that passionate romance where he completely blindsided me by breaking up with me after I moved away for grad school. After a lot of therapy I have realized that he was actually a narcissist who played with people, that I had been “love bombed”, that he told every girl that she was “the one”, etc. Once I realized that I felt sorry for his wife and kid.