Anonymous wrote:If your spouse passes unexpectedly, is your career easy to jump back into at high pay?

Life insurance solves this problem. The bigger concern is a divorce.

I’ve never worked except for some part time jobs. It’s a whole different world in my opinion. I know mostly the at home mothers and most are super chill. When we have some kind of school function you can tell the working mothers because they come rushing in, if it’s food related they have only the best and they are focused totally on their child because they’ve been gone all day.

It’s not like the kids are any different if their mother works. There are no negative effects. That’s my experience anyway.

Anonymous wrote:One major home or auto repair or big health issue away from poverty.

Are you serious?

If your spouse passes unexpectedly, is your career easy to jump back into at high pay?

Did it for 3 years with a PITI of $3600. Now divorced and we both make 180k. Of course it is doable.

We live on a combined HHI $160K with family of 3. We are in our 50s; paid off our mortgage 2 years ago. I'm still maxing out my 401K ( TSP) and save about $1000 after tax money, per month, in the brokerage account. We live relatively simply, but still travel ( cruising, out of state) at least twice a year. However, our cars are getting old ( 10 years) and we will need to replace them soon. Also our 1990s house is dated. So we will need some money for new cars and house repairs in the near future and that will cost. If not for cars, repairs and travel, we truly don't need much money to live on daily basis ( we have no debt). However, I like to have a nice cushion just in case something happens ( besides buying new cars/repairs), so I keep working. I would love to take a year off and stay home so that our household would run more smoothly. But because I have a government job, I can't just take some time off and go back to the same job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely doable. We have been doing it for years (starting on way less than 170k and now at about 175k). Our PITI is lower ($1600), but we pay over by $750 every month so we can pay off early.

I actually took a job a couple of years ago (salary of 125k), but ended up leaving because we found that we missed having a SAHP more than we liked or needed the money.

One thing to keep in mind is that our emergency fund is a full 12 months of expenses. Also we can decide against the extra principal on the mortgage on a monthly basis so if an unexpected expense comes up, it’s NBD

Can you share what activities your kids are in and what your travel/vacation consists of? Thanks!

PP here. Kids are in swimming, dance, orchestra and theater. We are lucky to have family that live in gorgeous places (e.g. Colorado, Maine, etc) so we visit often, including extended summer trips that include summer camps for the kids. Lucky that spouse can work remotely and join us on our adventures.

We also have a pool membership here locally so we spend a lot of time there during the part of the summer we are here.

Probably spend about 10k per year on vacation which includes at least a week of a house rental for just our nuclear family on top of the family visits. Because our schedules are so flexible we can maximize dates and prices. We also do a few long weekends throughout the year - although that is getting harder schedule-wise to do as kids activities ramp up.

Anonymous wrote:Get a more laid back, remote position. It might be less money, but that’s what keeps our household running super smoothly. Combined we make about $220k and it’s great. Just enough for our needs and plenty of our wants.

This is the correct answer, reduce the commuting stress by going remote, that way you will still be able to bring in 50-60k if not more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My salary alone is $172K. I contribute the max to my 401k, and our PITI is $2500. We are also saving for kids' college.

No, we can't do it on $172K. If we cut all activities, no vacation, then maybe. But, I don't want to do that.

At one point, I quit to be a sahm to reduce the stress level; I saved to be able to do this.

The stress level in our family went way down. But, I knew that I would need to go back to work to save for retirement and college, and if I stayed out of the workforce any longer, it would've been that much more difficult to get back in.

So, take some time off if you need to, but if you want to eventually get back into the workforce, you might want to not stay out too long.

This makes no sense as we have that salary range and we max out retirement, save for college, lots of activities for the kids, eating out, and some vacations but not traveling right now for other reasons.

30K 401k
40K taxes
20K 529
9k medical oop

monthly expenses are currently 8000 (includes activities), x 12 = 96000.

We are in our 50s.

Get a more laid back, remote position. It might be less money, but that’s what keeps our household running super smoothly. Combined we make about $220k and it’s great. Just enough for our needs and plenty of our wants.

Anonymous wrote:My salary alone is $172K. I contribute the max to my 401k, and our PITI is $2500. We are also saving for kids' college.

No, we can't do it on $172K. If we cut all activities, no vacation, then maybe. But, I don't want to do that.

At one point, I quit to be a sahm to reduce the stress level; I saved to be able to do this.

The stress level in our family went way down. But, I knew that I would need to go back to work to save for retirement and college, and if I stayed out of the workforce any longer, it would've been that much more difficult to get back in.

So, take some time off if you need to, but if you want to eventually get back into the workforce, you might want to not stay out too long.

This makes no sense as we have that salary range and we max out retirement, save for college, lots of activities for the kids, eating out, and some vacations but not traveling right now for other reasons.

We live very comfortably on that and had a similar mortgage.

Anonymous wrote:We are doing it on about 180k in a large Midwest city easily. Our PITI is $2100, so not that different. Still maxing retirement and saving about $1000 per month in 529s total for 2 kids. We have a lot left over each month but we don’t mind living modestly. One paid off car but very little transport expenses at all (WFH, walk to preschool), very little travel since our kids are so young, cook almost all meals at home. I don’t mind those things at all but others will feel differently.

Am contemplating going back to my old job part time but the stress of coordinating part time childcare and illness and everything makes me want to delay as long as I can.

Why the f**k are you on DCUM.

Your Midwest city experiences just aren’t helpful.

Anonymous wrote:Definitely doable. We have been doing it for years (starting on way less than 170k and now at about 175k). Our PITI is lower ($1600), but we pay over by $750 every month so we can pay off early.

I actually took a job a couple of years ago (salary of 125k), but ended up leaving because we found that we missed having a SAHP more than we liked or needed the money.

One thing to keep in mind is that our emergency fund is a full 12 months of expenses. Also we can decide against the extra principal on the mortgage on a monthly basis so if an unexpected expense comes up, it’s NBD

Can you share what activities your kids are in and what your travel/vacation consists of? Thanks!

Definitely doable. We have been doing it for years (starting on way less than 170k and now at about 175k). Our PITI is lower ($1600), but we pay over by $750 every month so we can pay off early.

I actually took a job a couple of years ago (salary of 125k), but ended up leaving because we found that we missed having a SAHP more than we liked or needed the money.

One thing to keep in mind is that our emergency fund is a full 12 months of expenses. Also we can decide against the extra principal on the mortgage on a monthly basis so if an unexpected expense comes up, it’s NBD