Anonymous
01/09/2024 11:32
Subject: Re:Weddings are horribly expensive
Anonymous wrote:Curious how much a nice wedding (nice venue, nice food, photographer, flowers etc) with a hundred guests would cost in the DMV
We got married in DC 15 years ago. We have 120 guests for a nice (but not exorbitant or over the top in any way) wedding. When all was said and done it cost around $55k. My parents paid and we're still happily married. I would assume today that same wedding would cost $75k (at least).
Anonymous
01/09/2024 11:31
Subject: Weddings are horribly expensive
Anonymous wrote:We spent $20k on our wedding in 2005, in a major city. Parents chipped in $10k. It’s a once in a life time event, so we felt that it was worth it.
That's not in any way expensive, even in 2005.
Anonymous
01/09/2024 11:30
Subject: Re:Weddings are horribly expensive
I opened this thread thinking it was going to be about how much it costs just to be a wedding guest. And I know I don’t have to attend, but for family members, it’s definitely expected.
Anonymous
01/09/2024 11:26
Subject: Weddings are horribly expensive
Anonymous wrote:About 15 years ago, we decided to have our wedding in this rural spot on the west coast, and let me tell you, it was the best decision ever. We kept the budget chill, under $12k for the whole ceremony and reception dinner, not counting the big-ticket items like rings and other major expenses. Instead, we put that cash towards a really nice ring and a downpayment for our house.
We picked the coolest hotel in the area, which was more like this awesome lodge with a great restaurant and a super authentic vibe. It was a bit out of the way, so our friends had to fly in. This meant only our real friends showed up, which was kind of the whole idea. Flights weren't too pricey back then, but they're probably more now. Our wedding was all about keeping it real, surrounded by nature and decorating local flowers, local foods, wines, beer and decor etc, no need for all that extra fancy stuff and it was all affordable as it was in a rural area.
In my opinion, you're better off either having a laid-back wedding in town or choosing a place where the natural scenery does all the work. Those super pricey, over-the-top east coast weddings? To me, they kind of give off a tacky, try-hard vibe, like they're pushing to be something they're not – almost like being in a diseny theme park, and they probably cost like 100K.
Here's the deal: don't go all out spending on your wedding. Ours didn't break the bank, and honestly, we were so busy we barely had time to soak it all in. Your true friends will have a great time regardless of the budget. Plus, saving on the wedding means you can splurge on stuff that really counts, like an amazing ring or a house downpayment. Focus on what's gonna be meaningful for you in the long run.
Also to add, the DC area has a lot of Indians and for some reason they like to throw these over the top wedding and invite like 500 people so it might be a cultural thing i don't understand
Anonymous
01/09/2024 11:24
Subject: Weddings are horribly expensive
About 15 years ago, we decided to have our wedding in this rural spot on the west coast, and let me tell you, it was the best decision ever. We kept the budget chill, under $12k for the whole ceremony and reception dinner, not counting the big-ticket items like rings and other major expenses. Instead, we put that cash towards a really nice ring and a downpayment for our house.
We picked the coolest hotel in the area, which was more like this awesome lodge with a great restaurant and a super authentic vibe. It was a bit out of the way, so our friends had to fly in. This meant only our real friends showed up, which was kind of the whole idea. Flights weren't too pricey back then, but they're probably more now. Our wedding was all about keeping it real, surrounded by nature and decorating local flowers, local foods, wines, beer and decor etc, no need for all that extra fancy stuff and it was all affordable as it was in a rural area.
In my opinion, you're better off either having a laid-back wedding in town or choosing a place where the natural scenery does all the work. Those super pricey, over-the-top east coast weddings? To me, they kind of give off a tacky, try-hard vibe, like they're pushing to be something they're not – almost like being in a diseny theme park, and they probably cost like 100K.
Here's the deal: don't go all out spending on your wedding. Ours didn't break the bank, and honestly, we were so busy we barely had time to soak it all in. Your true friends will have a great time regardless of the budget. Plus, saving on the wedding means you can splurge on stuff that really counts, like an amazing ring or a house downpayment. Focus on what's gonna be meaningful for you in the long run.
We picked the coolest hotel in the area, which was more like this awesome lodge with a great restaurant and a super authentic vibe. It was a bit out of the way, so our friends had to fly in. This meant only our real friends showed up, which was kind of the whole idea. Flights weren't too pricey back then, but they're probably more now. Our wedding was all about keeping it real, surrounded by nature and decorating local flowers, local foods, wines, beer and decor etc, no need for all that extra fancy stuff and it was all affordable as it was in a rural area.
In my opinion, you're better off either having a laid-back wedding in town or choosing a place where the natural scenery does all the work. Those super pricey, over-the-top east coast weddings? To me, they kind of give off a tacky, try-hard vibe, like they're pushing to be something they're not – almost like being in a diseny theme park, and they probably cost like 100K.
Here's the deal: don't go all out spending on your wedding. Ours didn't break the bank, and honestly, we were so busy we barely had time to soak it all in. Your true friends will have a great time regardless of the budget. Plus, saving on the wedding means you can splurge on stuff that really counts, like an amazing ring or a house downpayment. Focus on what's gonna be meaningful for you in the long run.
Anonymous
01/09/2024 11:02
Subject: Weddings are horribly expensive
Nope. They *can* be hugely expensive.
A friend’s DD got married last year. Destination. Ten (!) attendants. Full weekend of activities. Photographer present nearly every moment. Sit down dinner reception. String quartet for cocktails. Swing band for dancing after dinner. Open bar.
It was fabulous. Esp the band. I had a great time. But I have had a great time at weddings at someone’s house - ceremony and reception combined. My friend did not complain about the cost. They knew what they were getting into and they chose it.
A friend’s DD got married last year. Destination. Ten (!) attendants. Full weekend of activities. Photographer present nearly every moment. Sit down dinner reception. String quartet for cocktails. Swing band for dancing after dinner. Open bar.
It was fabulous. Esp the band. I had a great time. But I have had a great time at weddings at someone’s house - ceremony and reception combined. My friend did not complain about the cost. They knew what they were getting into and they chose it.
Anonymous
01/09/2024 10:56
Subject: Weddings are horribly expensive
You can have a large wedding affordably if you are in a close knit culture where people enjoy contributing their labor directly to the wedding.
Anonymous
01/09/2024 10:55
Subject: Weddings are horribly expensive
These days you have to budget for 2 weddings per person
Anonymous
01/09/2024 10:50
Subject: Re:Weddings are horribly expensive
Weddings ARE horribly expensive but people should do what makes them happy. Keyword them.
For me and my husband, we didn't want the stress or huge cost so we had a beach wedding with just our parents followed six months later (warm weather) by a "celebration of marriage" where we rented an entire multi-unit house on a lake. We really wanted our non-local friends and family to be able to stay as long as they wanted-a day or a week with the only cost being what it took them to get to the lake. We grilled (Costco food), drank (purchased from a local liquor store), and swam with family/friends. It brought us joy and created really fond memories we regularly recall. House cost was 10k for the week (10 yrs ago in a non DMV state), wedding cost was the officiant, the photographer, and hair/makeup person so probably around 1k(ish). I don't consider the flight or accommodations to be a cost of the wedding but rather the honeymoon we had in the same location.
We talked about a large formal wedding and reception but decided what would make us happiest was a super small ceremony followed by a larger celebration. Do what makes YOU happy. Large/small, expensive/inexpensive, it should be you and your spouse's day.
For me and my husband, we didn't want the stress or huge cost so we had a beach wedding with just our parents followed six months later (warm weather) by a "celebration of marriage" where we rented an entire multi-unit house on a lake. We really wanted our non-local friends and family to be able to stay as long as they wanted-a day or a week with the only cost being what it took them to get to the lake. We grilled (Costco food), drank (purchased from a local liquor store), and swam with family/friends. It brought us joy and created really fond memories we regularly recall. House cost was 10k for the week (10 yrs ago in a non DMV state), wedding cost was the officiant, the photographer, and hair/makeup person so probably around 1k(ish). I don't consider the flight or accommodations to be a cost of the wedding but rather the honeymoon we had in the same location.
We talked about a large formal wedding and reception but decided what would make us happiest was a super small ceremony followed by a larger celebration. Do what makes YOU happy. Large/small, expensive/inexpensive, it should be you and your spouse's day.
Anonymous
01/09/2024 10:46
Subject: Re:Weddings are horribly expensive
I'm not one for social pressure. I generally don't care what other people think of me. But, I have a lot of people I love and wanted at my wedding - invite list of 175 (final headcount 150). I also wanted to treat them well, with a nice dinner and open bar, and I wanted to have fun (DJ) and meaning (wedding at my church). And I live in DC.
My parents footed a VERY generous $45k, this was in 2018. At the outset, I thought, wow, money really won't be a blocker, we'll be able to just get whatever we want (I don't have expensive tastes). And honestly - within the parameters listed above, it was a budget wedding. It's INSANE how much every little thing costs. We had to watch the budget so, so carefully. The only way we could do it was to bring in a caterer from Baltimore, all of the DC caterers were out of our price range.
It was an amazing wedding and a fabulous day and by the end of it my face actually hurt from smiling so much. But damn, that price tag!!
My parents footed a VERY generous $45k, this was in 2018. At the outset, I thought, wow, money really won't be a blocker, we'll be able to just get whatever we want (I don't have expensive tastes). And honestly - within the parameters listed above, it was a budget wedding. It's INSANE how much every little thing costs. We had to watch the budget so, so carefully. The only way we could do it was to bring in a caterer from Baltimore, all of the DC caterers were out of our price range.
It was an amazing wedding and a fabulous day and by the end of it my face actually hurt from smiling so much. But damn, that price tag!!
Anonymous
01/09/2024 10:38
Subject: Re:Weddings are horribly expensive
My kids are in their 20s - and so far, the weddings they have attended have been super casual affairs and small. More like parties - in one case the bride and groom said their vows in jeans. In another, the couple rented out a bunch of air-bnbs on a lake and everybody stayed the weekend. Another was a boat ride in Charleston and the couple got married on the boat - it was less than 50 people. I personally think these options sound fun and much more economical.
Anonymous
01/09/2024 10:37
Subject: Weddings are horribly expensive
Anonymous wrote:YES. There in an industry designed to make you keep up with the Joneses. Just say no. done
This
Waste of money
Give them the money for savings or a house if you want but big wedding no.
Anonymous
01/09/2024 10:27
Subject: Re:Weddings are horribly expensive
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Curious how much a nice wedding (nice venue, nice food, photographer, flowers etc) with a hundred guests would cost in the DMV
The word "nice" is doing a lot of work here.
Almost none of the things couples worry about when they're planning a wedding actually matter to their guests.
Signed,
My generally delightful niece is currently losing her mind over how her dog will transport the rings down the aisles
Double whammy or crazy dog owner meets stressed-out bride made me LOL
Anonymous
01/09/2024 10:25
Subject: Weddings are horribly expensive
Anonymous wrote:We paid for three very nice weddings without getting all worked up about it. They each got exactly what they wanted. The cheapest was about $40k, the most expensive about double that. In the scheme of things, it’s not that much. People on this board routinely spend that much each and every year to send a kid to private school. That’s way more crazy in my view.
I’m the PP with the 1996 “budget” wedding and $40K for the least expensive option sounds about right to me for today mostly because the punch and cake reception isn’t really done anymore. The expectation is definitely dinner and party/dancing at extravagant expense.
I loved my low key wedding but will likely be all in for the extravagance of a big wedding for my daughter. I will just try hard not to cringe at the pricetag
Anonymous
01/09/2024 10:21
Subject: Weddings are horribly expensive
Everyone should throw a wedding that fits comfortably within their budget. I hope to throw blowouts for my three children, but that's only because our HHI is high and we'll be able to cashflow it. If it weren't, then I'd throw a really nice party at a fire hall or in my back yard or something. When I'm invited to a wedding I really don't give a crap where it is or how much someone spent. I mean, I hope there's good food, but whether it's filet mignon or pulled pork sandwiches I'm happy.