Anonymous
01/14/2024 16:18
Subject: Do some parents truly welcome siblings when venues have limits?
Bringing a sibling is so rude.
Anonymous
01/14/2024 15:20
Subject: Re:Do some parents truly welcome siblings when venues have limits?
Anonymous wrote:My DCs had all-class parties until they were 10 or 11. In most venues, I asked for RSVPs in advance for siblings - for food, planning, etc. in a few venues, I kept it to invites only because the venue had a restricted number for equipment or bc of space constraints.
I genuinely didn’t mind siblings with RSVPs. I did mind those that just turned up like it was an entitlement. 1) some venues cost $50/kid, so bringing 4 siblings (I kid you not) was a significant unexpected expense. 2] we always did party favors and sometimes the younger siblings would whine because they didn’t get one because the RSVPs were prioritized. 3) sometimes, it’s just not appropriate to have very young siblings tag along for things like laser tag or paintball. It ruins it for the older kids because they have to be careful of the younger ones. 4) if you’ve prepared food and drinks with the venue for X people, sometimes they aren’t prepared for X + Y, not to mention the adults who are facilitating or helping the kids for different activities like climbing need to be in a certain ratio for safety and if you just show up it throws the ratio off.
We've had people bring 4 siblings along with friends or other family members. Ironically they were the families who didn't bring a gift and one child even had the nerve to ask for a goody bag, which I don't do. It really depends on the venue, after the first year that cost a fortune and people took advantage of it, we learned and found venues that you pay per room/flat fee vs. per child.
Anonymous
01/14/2024 15:19
Subject: Do some parents truly welcome siblings when venues have limits?
Anonymous wrote:what age is too young for drop off?
i don't get these posts. a party invite is for the invitee, not the whole family. activities are geared toward 5 year olds (for example) and may not be great for kids of other ages.
IMO unless the kids are not in school yet, all parties are drop off parties.
It's bizarre to drop off a 5 year old at a public venue and not expect parents to stay except the really checked out parents. Its very hard for the host to supervise all those kids, many they don't even know and if its a public open venue, any child can walk or or be taken.
Anonymous
01/14/2024 12:56
Subject: Re:Do some parents truly welcome siblings when venues have limits?
My DCs had all-class parties until they were 10 or 11. In most venues, I asked for RSVPs in advance for siblings - for food, planning, etc. in a few venues, I kept it to invites only because the venue had a restricted number for equipment or bc of space constraints.
I genuinely didn’t mind siblings with RSVPs. I did mind those that just turned up like it was an entitlement. 1) some venues cost $50/kid, so bringing 4 siblings (I kid you not) was a significant unexpected expense. 2] we always did party favors and sometimes the younger siblings would whine because they didn’t get one because the RSVPs were prioritized. 3) sometimes, it’s just not appropriate to have very young siblings tag along for things like laser tag or paintball. It ruins it for the older kids because they have to be careful of the younger ones. 4) if you’ve prepared food and drinks with the venue for X people, sometimes they aren’t prepared for X + Y, not to mention the adults who are facilitating or helping the kids for different activities like climbing need to be in a certain ratio for safety and if you just show up it throws the ratio off.
I genuinely didn’t mind siblings with RSVPs. I did mind those that just turned up like it was an entitlement. 1) some venues cost $50/kid, so bringing 4 siblings (I kid you not) was a significant unexpected expense. 2] we always did party favors and sometimes the younger siblings would whine because they didn’t get one because the RSVPs were prioritized. 3) sometimes, it’s just not appropriate to have very young siblings tag along for things like laser tag or paintball. It ruins it for the older kids because they have to be careful of the younger ones. 4) if you’ve prepared food and drinks with the venue for X people, sometimes they aren’t prepared for X + Y, not to mention the adults who are facilitating or helping the kids for different activities like climbing need to be in a certain ratio for safety and if you just show up it throws the ratio off.
Anonymous
01/13/2024 21:44
Subject: Do some parents truly welcome siblings when venues have limits?
I would love to include siblings but many venues have a limit on number of attendees. I also think it’s rude to show up with siblings unless explicitly said it was ok. I know I spend a lot of time planning food, cake, party favors. I have no problem when a parent reaches out to me in advance and asks… I have multiple
Kids so I know things come up and sometimes you have to bring siblings. I try and always have extra of everything but when my child
Was in K several parents showed up with siblings without warning and I felt terrible I didn’t have enough party favors for everyone.just felt so bad!
And usually when I have to take my kids siblings I offer to pay for their entry to venue or food.
Kids so I know things come up and sometimes you have to bring siblings. I try and always have extra of everything but when my child
Was in K several parents showed up with siblings without warning and I felt terrible I didn’t have enough party favors for everyone.just felt so bad!
And usually when I have to take my kids siblings I offer to pay for their entry to venue or food.
Anonymous
01/13/2024 16:02
Subject: Do some parents truly welcome siblings when venues have limits?
We always invited siblings and the entire family. The first time, we had tons show up and it cost a fortune (many didn't RSVP so it was a nightmare with food but thankfully the venue let us order more after lots of drama). And, after that we picked venue's that allowed more/unlimited guests that we could bring our own food so it wasn't as expensive. If you want kids to show up, siblings is the way to go. Only one family regularly took advantage of it and invited their friends kids.
Anonymous
01/13/2024 15:46
Subject: Do some parents truly welcome siblings when venues have limits?
We’ve hosted multiple venue parties and we ALWAYS invite siblings. My oldest is now in ES but this is the norm at our preschool and most other families invite siblings when possible. Personal preference but I vastly prefer to have siblings. That said, I never assume siblings are invited unless the invite says so.
Anonymous
01/06/2024 00:01
Subject: Do some parents truly welcome siblings when venues have limits?
what age is too young for drop off?
i don't get these posts. a party invite is for the invitee, not the whole family. activities are geared toward 5 year olds (for example) and may not be great for kids of other ages.
IMO unless the kids are not in school yet, all parties are drop off parties.
i don't get these posts. a party invite is for the invitee, not the whole family. activities are geared toward 5 year olds (for example) and may not be great for kids of other ages.
IMO unless the kids are not in school yet, all parties are drop off parties.
Anonymous
01/05/2024 23:41
Subject: Do some parents truly welcome siblings when venues have limits?
Most people wouldn't/shouldn't bring a sibling to a venue party unless the invite explicitly says siblings are welcome. In most cases, they should not be - the costs at those places is excessive, especially for bringing along a toddler who is unlikely to really participate much.
When we did a low-key venue birthday party in the past (cheaper than most places), I said something about siblings being welcome but that we needed to RSVP to the venue for them, so I needed to know ahead of time. I was okay with that because it was a small group already, and there was enough space in the required minimum participants that it was unlikely to cost me more unless a ton of people brought siblings. I think most people took the hint that I might have to pay more for siblings and didn't bring them.
In cases where a party is at my house or a park, I always explicitly say that siblings are welcome.
When we did a low-key venue birthday party in the past (cheaper than most places), I said something about siblings being welcome but that we needed to RSVP to the venue for them, so I needed to know ahead of time. I was okay with that because it was a small group already, and there was enough space in the required minimum participants that it was unlikely to cost me more unless a ton of people brought siblings. I think most people took the hint that I might have to pay more for siblings and didn't bring them.
In cases where a party is at my house or a park, I always explicitly say that siblings are welcome.
Anonymous
01/05/2024 20:39
Subject: Do some parents truly welcome siblings when venues have limits?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not sure what you are asking. We have done bday parties and said explicitly "siblings welcome" and other times were silent but some people brought siblings. Like some PPs, overall I like to because the subs are often close in age to my other kid and in preschool days I knew the families and the siblings.
Usually people are not bringing all the siblings even if it's allowed. Parties conflict with other commitments, naps, the venue/event may not be fun for certain ages etc. it's a mix. But we have chosen venues and invite lists based on wanting to welcome siblings.
OP here. I have 3 kids and have thrown a lot of parties over the years. When my kids were younger and in preschool, siblings were often included. I had 2 kids close together in age and I didn’t really care if I took one kid, both kids or the whole family. DH was happy to stay back with our other kid(s).
It just seems like some families on DCUM and in real life want or expect the entire family to be invited when there is an all class party. I should have specified that this is elementary school.
I actually didn’t have all class parties for my older kids when they were this age. It would have been too many people so I only invited their actual friends or just the one sex.
This is the last all class party I throw ever.
There are always some people with strong views and they are often the loudest. I thought this was a clear difference between preschool and elementary - I have not seen sibs at all-class parties K onward unless they were invited (in our case I often reach out to families we know where their sib knows ours and let them know their other kid is welcome). As others have said I also leave wiggle room in case 1-2 kids show up unexpectedly. But I haven't seen large #s of sibs.
Anonymous
01/05/2024 20:31
Subject: Do some parents truly welcome siblings when venues have limits?
Once I had a whole class party and I was already at 24 without my other children, so I rented a community center and hired a performer. We worded the invite “siblings welcome, let us know so we have enough cupcakes!” And we ended up with 36 - a mix of neighbors and siblings.
Other times I’ve had a strict limit of 20 per the venue and I extended invites specifically to siblings for 2 neighborhood families who invite both of my kids to both of their kids’ parties. I also “save” 1-2 spots just in case someone asks even though I put a note on the invite that said something like “unfortunately no siblings, we’re tight on space”. So no, I didn’t allow siblings for ALL families but I was prepared in case someone reached out to say it was an issue.
I think it’s fine to include or exclude siblings if you communicate clearly. I also think it’s ok to ask if you do it politely and accept the answer might be “sorry, but no”. The only thing that’s rude is rsvp’ing for 1 and showing up with 2-3 kids.
Other times I’ve had a strict limit of 20 per the venue and I extended invites specifically to siblings for 2 neighborhood families who invite both of my kids to both of their kids’ parties. I also “save” 1-2 spots just in case someone asks even though I put a note on the invite that said something like “unfortunately no siblings, we’re tight on space”. So no, I didn’t allow siblings for ALL families but I was prepared in case someone reached out to say it was an issue.
I think it’s fine to include or exclude siblings if you communicate clearly. I also think it’s ok to ask if you do it politely and accept the answer might be “sorry, but no”. The only thing that’s rude is rsvp’ing for 1 and showing up with 2-3 kids.
Anonymous
01/05/2024 20:16
Subject: Do some parents truly welcome siblings when venues have limits?
I’m cool with the siblings we know. Often the older sibling is at the same school and we a familiar with them due to past events.
Anonymous
01/05/2024 14:57
Subject: Re:Do some parents truly welcome siblings when venues have limits?
Yes- but:
My kids all have birthdays at difficult times of year (very near major holidays or holiday weekends). I often still had their parties somewhat near their birthdays when they were little, but knew attendance would be an issue…so would use more flexible venues (or have at our house or the park) and cast a wider net and welcome siblings. Fun to get to know some of the families too, and fun for the sibs.
Once older, I did smaller parties and coordinated with closest friends who they would really want there. Obviously no sibs for those.
My kids all have birthdays at difficult times of year (very near major holidays or holiday weekends). I often still had their parties somewhat near their birthdays when they were little, but knew attendance would be an issue…so would use more flexible venues (or have at our house or the park) and cast a wider net and welcome siblings. Fun to get to know some of the families too, and fun for the sibs.
Once older, I did smaller parties and coordinated with closest friends who they would really want there. Obviously no sibs for those.
Anonymous
01/05/2024 14:47
Subject: Re:Do some parents truly welcome siblings when venues have limits?
I never did.
Anonymous
01/05/2024 14:46
Subject: Do some parents truly welcome siblings when venues have limits?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We did, because my child was special needs and we often got a poor response to party invitations.
I have a SNs kid and this response hit me. We have to cast a wider net for his parties than our NT kid’s invite list.
You’re not alone.
I have a SN kid who does not get invited to a lot of parties, which is why we always err on the side of including people. It is worth the extra $$$$ to me to teach that lesson to my kids, especially my NT one, but I get that this is an issue very close to my heart.