Anonymous
12/26/2023 09:04
Subject: What would you have said?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:^^^
I didn't answer your question. I would have said "larla, auntie Susie is right. Please address her the way she wants to be called"
Op here. Sorry I failed to mention that aunt Susie really doesn’t care about being called aunt, and my child always calls her by her name when we are just us without the rest of the extended family.
Ah new details!
+1 you and your child were wrong.
+2. You aren’t from this country yet you push back against our customs. That isn’t doing your child a favor.
US born and raised and this is not my family’s custom. Don’t paint with such a broad brush.
Anonymous
12/26/2023 09:04
Subject: Re:What would you have said?
I'm in my 50's, and from the South, and even so, there is still context to this. I called my grandparent's sisters "Aunt First Name." I called my parents siblings, who were between 10 and 20 years older than me, by their first name. If the aunt is young, or prefers to be called by her first name, there is nothing wrong with that.
Anonymous
12/26/2023 09:02
Subject: What would you have said?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:SIL is nuts
Op. That’s what my husband said
Her mother seemed familiar with her attempts to ruin holidays. Sad.
I'd let it go and move on, OP.
Anonymous
12/26/2023 09:00
Subject: What would you have said?
Is Susis your SILs and husband’s aunt? If they call her Aunt Susie and always have, it is weird your kid doesn’t. Your kid should follow the customs in the family. You don’t get to plead ignorance and then get mad when it’s pointed out, and finally gleeful when your husband insults his sister, which brought you a lot of joy. You don’t like her, it’s obvious. You sound awfully mannerless yourself.
Anonymous
12/26/2023 08:56
Subject: What would you have said?
Op - we are in nyc and all of these rules are completely foreign and bizarre to me. And doubtless mostly expected by older generations. My kids call adults by their first names including their teachers. No one cares. Anyone who has a problem with that needs way way way bigger issues to worry about.
You do you - sil needs to get a life
You do you - sil needs to get a life
Anonymous
12/26/2023 08:55
Subject: What would you have said?
What does your kid call SIL? Clearly she wants to be called Aunt SIL and was using Aunt Susie as an example.
Was your kid getting upset over SILs remarks or was your kid just ignoring her?
Was your kid getting upset over SILs remarks or was your kid just ignoring her?
Anonymous
12/26/2023 08:37
Subject: Re:What would you have said?
In the south, you use Miss/Mr. First Name.
In Catholic school, it’s Mr./Dr./Miss/Mrs. Last Name.
Your child should use what the current subculture or age range calls for.
In Catholic school, it’s Mr./Dr./Miss/Mrs. Last Name.
Your child should use what the current subculture or age range calls for.
Anonymous
12/26/2023 05:46
Subject: What would you have said?
Anonymous wrote:OP, what does your kid call your SIL, who is her aunt?
At any rate, even though Aunt S is fine with being called just S, it is good that your kid learned (and now you have, too, by reading this thread) that many, many adults don’t like kids calling them by their first names. I’ve taught my kids to stay more formal and then can use first names if invited to do so.
SIL was telling you and your kid important information, even if it was delivered poorly and didn’t quite fit the Aunt S situation.
*start more formal…
Anonymous
12/26/2023 05:45
Subject: What would you have said?
OP, what does your kid call your SIL, who is her aunt?
At any rate, even though Aunt S is fine with being called just S, it is good that your kid learned (and now you have, too, by reading this thread) that many, many adults don’t like kids calling them by their first names. I’ve taught my kids to stay more formal and then can use first names if invited to do so.
SIL was telling you and your kid important information, even if it was delivered poorly and didn’t quite fit the Aunt S situation.
At any rate, even though Aunt S is fine with being called just S, it is good that your kid learned (and now you have, too, by reading this thread) that many, many adults don’t like kids calling them by their first names. I’ve taught my kids to stay more formal and then can use first names if invited to do so.
SIL was telling you and your kid important information, even if it was delivered poorly and didn’t quite fit the Aunt S situation.
Anonymous
12/26/2023 05:26
Subject: What would you have said?
It all depends on what Aunt Susie wants to be called. SIL has overreacted.
Anonymous
12/26/2023 05:20
Subject: What would you have said?
Is its OK with Sally, it's fine. SIL is a B.
Anonymous
12/26/2023 05:15
Subject: What would you have said?
It is very common in a family to use the relationship to name adults - mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle.
I wouldn’t dream of referring to those adults in my family just by first names!
Just a first name for most adults is new. It used to be that friends parents and teachers were were called Ms Mrs Mr and physicians were Dr etc. I find this trend of everyone is just Bob and Sue when coming from kids to be jarring. That was definitely disrespectful when we were growing up and I still see it that way. There is a ten year old in my daughter’s dance class who calls her mother Melissa instead of mom and it is just strange to me.
I wouldn’t dream of referring to those adults in my family just by first names!
Just a first name for most adults is new. It used to be that friends parents and teachers were were called Ms Mrs Mr and physicians were Dr etc. I find this trend of everyone is just Bob and Sue when coming from kids to be jarring. That was definitely disrespectful when we were growing up and I still see it that way. There is a ten year old in my daughter’s dance class who calls her mother Melissa instead of mom and it is just strange to me.
Anonymous
12/26/2023 04:32
Subject: What would you have said?
Anonymous wrote:Sister in law reprimanded by child aged 8 for not using “aunt” before the name of her aunt, calling her Susie vs. aunt Susi. Said it was disrespectful. I was honestly stunned a bit and didn’t even think of anything to say, I am not us born and never really thought my kids that they have to say aunt or uncle. My mother in law stepped in and said a couple things to diffuse the conversation but my sister in law kept at it, then got up and said she had to run an errand. Btw the aunt in question wasn’t in the room. The more I think of this the more I feel like it was rude and out of place for her to say this about my child, shouldn’t she be minding her own business and keep her unsolicited advice to herself? What do you think?? Thanks!!
Op - ignore the weirdos on this thread.
I think you are right and your sil is mental and needs to get bigger problems bc the ones she is focused on are not real or important and also none of her business.
Dcum is filled with boomer facsimiles of daughters of the American revolution who clutch their pearls at a lot of stupid, performative nothing and yet if you ever have a feeling; eg not being thrilled about having your mother in law over constantly (half these people are mother in laws), you are a bad person. See most of this advice through that lens
Anonymous
12/26/2023 04:28
Subject: What would you have said?
Anonymous wrote:Even if Sally is fine with them just saying Sally instead of Aunt Sally, it’s still respectful to use aunt when talking about Sally to someone else. Just using Sally should be reserved for 1:1 times. Most kids don’t understand that distinction though so it’s better to teach the child manners and have them use aunt all the time as a sign of respect for elders.
And your SIL was just trying to teach your child manners you should be appreciative.
This whole thread is nuts. Since when is ‘aunt’ respectful or otherwise? It’s just something you call someone if they are your aunt or maybe a close friend of your parents. It’s not something you have to call someone or you’re rude?
This type of crp is why ppl grow up and never want to see their family members any more.
Anonymous
12/26/2023 04:26
Subject: What would you have said?
Anonymous wrote:You're okay with your 8 year old addressing an adult two generations older than them by their first name? It's rude (IMO), and SIL likely addressed it since you were not.
What??????????
What?
This wins an award for the hottest take I’ve ever read here.
It’s rude for a child to call an adult by their name? What are you - 140 years old? Never read anything so ridiculous in my entire life