I'm 44 and I had an advent calendar growing up that had a little note for each day with a either a riddle or a joke or just something telling me where to look and I got a gift. Nothing huge, but a gift every day. We were family friends with a couple who ran a British tea house and the husband would come to our house as Father Christmas (he also dressed like that for the Christmas teas they did) at a party. My mom swapped out everything in our house - plates, glasses, beds, linens, even art work, for Christmas versions of it all. We drove around to see the lights, threw a big party and attended another, and did a lot of Christmas activities every year.

My mom worked full-time downtown as a financial advisor for billion dollar businesses, so it's not like she did it to kill time. She just loves Christmas! And this was before any kind of social media, so she did it because she loved it and we loved it, not because she wanted to show off to people on the internet. Some people do more at the holidays because they truly enjoy it. If you don't like doing X, then don't do it. And I get that it's annoying if it seems like people are doing activities just to brag about them on social media, but I do the Elf on the Shelf because my kids absolutely love it and no one but them ever sees it (we have thrown two parties this December and both days I did it in a room that was closed off to company). I also work full-time in BigLaw but I really enjoy doing gingerbread house decorating parties and having people come over to celebrate and wrapping presents and all of it. Christmas is the only holiday I decorate for but I love how my house transforms for the month of December. If you don't like it, that's ok, and if you don't want to do something, then don't. I do spend more time doing stuff this time of year but that's because I want to!

We have never (not yet?) done: a Santa visit (freaked me out as a kid so no thanks until my kids actually ask), elf, polar express (I would! But we are just too disorganized) or advent.

We do: presents, stockings. Maybe a cookie decorating activity. Oh and a tree.

My first thought is why do you care?

But to sort of answer your question -- we "pick and choose" too. We don't do elf on the shelf -- that sounds like a headache.
We keep Santa very low-key...like a free one you wait on line to see and then maybe buy the photo, but don't even have to.

And we do like two holiday outings, not a bazillion...so like Nutcracker and zoo lights one year. Polar express and holiday tea another. I actually love those kind of activities, so I don't see it as a chore. We get weekend times, when I do personally have the time.

FWIW, each of my kids gets their own advent calendar. But I buy an already filled one based on their interests. So, my 4 yr old DD has a barbie one this year...first night was a barbie and then each night thereafter she opens a different accessory. My 10 yr old DD has a gemstone advent calendar from Nat Geo...each night she opens a different gem stone and there is a little something to read about it. We also have a candy one for the family that we open each night. All I had to do for this was spend a few minutes internet researching/deciding what to get them and then just placing the order online. All the ones I bought were under $50. Oh my goodness do my kids FREAKIN LOVE it! Something about the suspense factor, getting to open a little window each night, and adding to a collection. This was the best bang for my buck/energy of all the Christmas things!

We don’t do all of that because my kids don’t like being around Santa but my mother did all of that for me and my siblings in the 90s long before social media. Except polar express wasn’t big yet so it was called a “Santa train” and we went to “Breakfast with Santa”. Some people just enjoy doing that for their kids.
We do the elf on the shelf because my kids kept asking why they don’t have an elf like everyone at school or their activities. We use that as the advent with the elves often bringing things to them or suggesting an activity that we are already prepared for.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know anyone who does any of this.

You don’t know anyone who has an advent calendar or who visits Santa? Ok.

No one I know does any of these things, OP.

We're in Bethesda, and know people who have the money and time to do this if they wished. Except they don't wish.

You don't "have " to do anything. Christmas is a family project in my house. My daughter loves elf on a shelf so she does it herself. She's 9 and her favorite thing all month is coming up with hilarious Elf ideas. Grandma sends the Advent calendars. Dad and son do the decorating, etc. I do holiday baking bc I enjoy it. Nobody wants to wear matching pajamas and do a photo shoot so we don't. People get old-school hallmark cards from us. We tuck in wallet photos of the kids school photos. Just do what you want. Nobody is grading you.

I don't know anyone who does any of this.

We go see the local malĺ Santa (he's great). We've done a Polar Express ride once, with my parents, who insisted upon it. We don't do Elf on the Shelf, and I usually buy both of our girls an inexpensive Advent calendar each year.

Just say NO OP and get the hell off social media. Those people are toxic - their whole purpose in life is to make you envious.

We don’t do any of the stuff you mention but we still have a very fun, magical Christmas. We get a tree and decorate it and the rest of the inside of our house which is festive. We make lots of different types of Christmas cookies. We read Christmas themed books and watch Christmas themed movies and drive around and look at lights. We go out shopping for each other (each parent takes a kid, then we switch), we make and send cards and letters, we get gifts for extended family that we all discuss what to get each person. We go pick out toys to donate to toys for tots and clothing and books for a gift drive for seniors, and food for the food pantry and talk to our kids about the importance of giving to others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the norm in our house. But we purposely don't put a lot of emphasis on the whole Christmas thing. DH and I believe it should be a day, not a season.

But is is a season. Firs you have the 4 weeks of Advent, leading up to Christmas Day, and then the Feast of the Epiphany in January.

You do you boo

Not the pp, but whether you choose to celebrate it or not, Christmas is in fact a season. It’s a Christian holiday. Saying it isn’t is like my randomly choosing to redefine a Jewish or Muslim holiday as something they aren’t.

Nope, I don’t do much. Spent too much on mall Santa photos and too much Mo ey in general, but I don’t go crazy in any one area. Minimal gifting too!

Just start ignoring it! 90% of it is marketing.

Every family should do what works for them. I truly enjoy things like baking a bunch of different types of Christmas cookies, hot cocoa, movie nights, sleigh rides, driving around, looking at Christmas lights, watching holiday movies, elf on the shelf, Advent calendars and more. Don't judge anyone who celebrates Christmas or any holiday different than what works for our family. Both my husband and I work full time but we take pleasure in this season and really try to slow it down and be present with family. So we all do things that we enjoy like sledding and skiing as well.

Anonymous wrote:Not the norm in our house. But we purposely don't put a lot of emphasis on the whole Christmas thing. DH and I believe it should be a day, not a season.

But is is a season. Firs you have the 4 weeks of Advent, leading up to Christmas Day, and then the Feast of the Epiphany in January.