Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do I say when I answer my phone and someone calls? Used to texting. Halp

Seriously, who calls anymore? If they don't know to text, then don't answer.

Incorrect. You say, "yes I'd like to extend my car warranty, thank you!"

Don’t forget to give them your social security #.

OP here. Thanks! I’ve been doing this all day and I just got a notice from FICO that my score went up from a new card! You guys are awesome.

Anonymous wrote:I can't afford private but my neighbors all say DCPS/MCPS/FCPS suck and will ruin the children forever. What do I do?

Take them to an orphanage. If you can't find any in the US, send them to one overseas.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do I tell my host I only eat plant-based?

No need to actually say anything. Just eat all the potatoes in their house. Every. Single. One.

As previously explained, it is only humanly possible to eat up to 9. PP, just put the extras in your pocket. But make sure they are hot.

I love hot pockets.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m writing from a beach vacation with my in laws. FIL keeps taking the kids (3 and 5) skin diving without sunscreen. Also, the older cousins have been pressuring them to vape and when I intervened my SIL placed a hex on me. My husband thinks I’m being too sensitive. What should I do?

Let me guess, first time parent?

+1. Skin diving. She deserves the hex.

OP, try SKY diving. It’s perfectly safe for my toddler and kindergartener. Then again. We prepared for this when I was pregnant by sky diving as soon as I hit 27 weeks. YMMV

Anonymous wrote:How do I tell my host I only eat plant-based?

No need to actually say anything. Just eat all the potatoes in their house. Every. Single. One.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen keeps sneaking out after we fall asleep. What should we do?

My toddler acts out when he’s not getting enough protein. Maybe add a string cheese snack at bedtime?

I laughed so hard I cried at this one. Then I tried it and it worked! Subbed half a wheel for Brie though, because we live in Willowbrook. HHI 250k.

LOL!

I am in PG county and cheese didn’t work for me.
I’m going to try a slim Jim.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many potatoes should I prepare for my dinner party?

Zero. Instead, try two asparagus spears per person.

Unless they are vegan. If they are, don’t even bother inviting them inside. Just throw a bag of frozen peas & carrots at their car as they drive by your house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many potatoes should I prepare for my dinner party?

Zero. Instead, try two asparagus spears per person.

Disagree. The song counts potatoes up to 9. Anything more than that is impossible. So - make 9.

Anonymous wrote:How do I tell my host I only eat plant-based?

This is on you, don’t expect everyone else to have this diet. I only eat plant based too — I make sure to bring twigs, fresh tree leaves ans sometimes gravel to suck on instead of hard candy. One thing I will make an exception for is water, I find the creek water sometimes has Living species in it, and, well - it just negates the whole point of plant based I’f im eating animals I can’t see in the water.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve saved $2000 for college for my 13 yo. She wants to go to Harvard. Have I ruined her chances for a debt free life?

Sign her up for dance class. Teach her the art of finding sugar daddies.

I found a pole dancing class that I can use some of her $2K from to begin investing in this. They only offer classes at night and you have to be 21. It is also right next to a strip club. Not sure if rhis will work, but think it’s a great suggestion. Thanks!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m right handed and wish I could be left handed. Advice?

Just chop off your right hand at your wrist. You are now left handed.

LOL I don’t know why this is so FUNNY to me

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What to do with mail?

Burn it all in a bonfire

Dance around it, invite Lil Wayne.

I can't afford private but my neighbors all say DCPS/MCPS/FCPS suck and will ruin the children forever. What do I do?

Anonymous wrote:I’m writing from a beach vacation with my in laws. FIL keeps taking the kids (3 and 5) skin diving without sunscreen. Also, the older cousins have been pressuring them to vape and when I intervened my SIL placed a hex on me. My husband thinks I’m being too sensitive. What should I do?

You should have started your own hex. Clip everyone's toenails tonight and get to work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do I tell my host I only eat plant-based?

PowerPoint deck delineating reasons/benefits.

And/or refuse all food and drink offered and go get branches/leaves from yard. Bring in and serve self.