Anonymous wrote:I had much the same deal as OP. Tall, beautiful woman 15 years younger than me. She had two graduate degrees, and a good job in the city. In 5 years I took her out for drinks twice, otherwise we just met up at her place downtown, I would give her lots of Os, then I would return to work. I never slept over.

Why did it end? I was getting divorced anyway, and wanted more from the relationship and she had no problem attracting older no-strings dudes to give her Os. My then wife had stopped bedroom fun 2-3 years before I met what I would call the Only Woman (OW). She was a very good woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ OP thank you for agreeing with my post.

- The person who posted about the pathology of secret affairs.

Well, you tried it.

I’m not cheated on, but I don’t know how common it is for the cheater cheater pumpkin eater to hate/scorn the other woman. I mean maybe but it comes across as wishful thinking and not a broadly acknowledged truism.

The cheating men in this thread referred to the other women as midget (short in stature), Shakira (ethnic), impressed by cheap ethnic eateries and cheap wine (gullible/low class), and three dollar f- and chuck (self explanatory). Not wishful thinking; this is what the cheating men themselves wrote in this thread.

DP.. I assumed those were written by bitter women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ You forgot the part where other woman dumps the married guy. Then married guy posts on DCUM reminiscing about how he misses the affair partner, whom he had treated like crap. Yes, this applies to the “two drinks in five years” guy as well. It is strange to brag about how much you didn’t have to spend (in meals, gifts, time or whatever) to get sex.

It’s misogynistic and makes them feel like studs. Look how women are so desperate to screw/be with them? Ego boost. Narcissistic pride.

“Madonna-Whore complex”.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ You forgot the part where other woman dumps the married guy. Then married guy posts on DCUM reminiscing about how he misses the affair partner, whom he had treated like crap. Yes, this applies to the “two drinks in five years” guy as well. It is strange to brag about how much you didn’t have to spend (in meals, gifts, time or whatever) to get sex.

It’s misogynistic and makes them feel like studs. Look how women are so desperate to screw/be with them? Ego boost. Narcissistic pride.

Anonymous wrote:^^ You forgot the part where other woman dumps the married guy. Then married guy posts on DCUM reminiscing about how he misses the affair partner, whom he had treated like crap. Yes, this applies to the “two drinks in five years” guy as well. It is strange to brag about how much you didn’t have to spend (in meals, gifts, time or whatever) to get sex.

Anonymous wrote:Shared pathology of the secret sex relationship:

The married man can’t hack it in the real world. Feels underappreciated by his job and his insufficiently grateful wife and kids. Angry, but doesn’t know how to process it, and too chicken to show it. Pursues affair to feel appreciated and excited about life again. The shared fantasy gives him an escape from his suffocating mundane existence. He deserves better! But the OW better adhere to the script or she’s going to get a smack down. No expensive anything; no shared life together and no future. “Relationship” totally on the man’s terms and on the man’s schedule. “I’m the man here, dammit.” Cannot deal with the reasonable thoughts, feelings and needs of the OW (or of his own wife for that matter).

The OW believes the man loves her, or at least likes her and doesn’t despise her. He sends her flirty texts during the day. It’s so special; it’s their little secret. He must care about her if he spends so much time texting and anticipating their next interlude. She thinks maybe this will actually go somewhere. He complains about his wife. He says she won’t even have sex with him! Seems to OW there is hope there. She doesn’t actually like the cheap meals or being kept in the shadows. But he keeps coming back to her and she wants to trust him. The fantasy that he actually gives a sh- about her is less painful than facing the reality that he has NO intention of ever doing right by her and that he’s just using her to regulate his own unsettling emotions and to feel better about his own disappointing existence.

Anonymous wrote:I had much the same deal as OP. Tall, beautiful woman 15 years younger than me. She had two graduate degrees, and a good job in the city. In 5 years I took her out for drinks twice, otherwise we just met up at her place downtown, I would give her lots of Os, then I would return to work. I never slept over.

Why did it end? I was getting divorced anyway, and wanted more from the relationship and she had no problem attracting older no-strings dudes to give her Os. My then wife had stopped bedroom fun 2-3 years before I met what I would call the Only Woman (OW). She was a very good woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ OP thank you for agreeing with my post.

- The person who posted about the pathology of secret affairs.

Well, you tried it.

I’m not cheated on, but I don’t know how common it is for the cheater cheater pumpkin eater to hate/scorn the other woman. I mean maybe but it comes across as wishful thinking and not a broadly acknowledged truism.

The cheating men in this thread referred to the other women as midget (short in stature), Shakira (ethnic), impressed by cheap ethnic eateries and cheap wine (gullible/low class), and three dollar f- and chuck (self explanatory). Not wishful thinking; this is what the cheating men themselves wrote in this thread.

DP.. I assumed those were written by bitter women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ OP thank you for agreeing with my post.

- The person who posted about the pathology of secret affairs.

Well, you tried it.

I’m not cheated on, but I don’t know how common it is for the cheater cheater pumpkin eater to hate/scorn the other woman. I mean maybe but it comes across as wishful thinking and not a broadly acknowledged truism.

The cheating men in this thread referred to the other women as midget (short in stature), Shakira (ethnic), impressed by cheap ethnic eateries and cheap wine (gullible/low class), and three dollar f- and chuck (self explanatory). Not wishful thinking; this is what the cheating men themselves wrote in this thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op Here: We were 50 and 33 when we started. She has no interest in ever getting married (to anyone). My HHI was about $300k at the time we met. Many men find her attractive (5’ tall but very shapely) but yes, it is somewhat subjective. It started out emotional and about a year later transitioned to physical.

Oh..so she is fat. There you go..

Anonymous wrote:Op Here: We were 50 and 33 when we started. She has no interest in ever getting married (to anyone). My HHI was about $300k at the time we met. Many men find her attractive (5’ tall but very shapely) but yes, it is somewhat subjective. It started out emotional and about a year later transitioned to physical.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL Op you are delusional. A woman willing to date a married man is NO prize.

Quite the opposite!

I disagree, I met my wife when I was 30 and she was 23. She pursued me heavily and we began an affair. Best thing that ever happened to me. I went from a very meh marriage to living my best life, going on 10 years now. She's wonderful

You'll lose her the same way you got her.

Lol, okay! I'm not worried

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL Op you are delusional. A woman willing to date a married man is NO prize.

Quite the opposite!

I disagree, I met my wife when I was 30 and she was 23. She pursued me heavily and we began an affair. Best thing that ever happened to me. I went from a very meh marriage to living my best life, going on 10 years now. She's wonderful

You'll lose her the same way you got her.