Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m conceding on the Chick-fil-A.

Here’s another example. DH texts and says he’s ordering pizza and what would we like. I say I’ll share DS’s cheese pizza. DD and her bf each order their own. Ok fine (I’m thinking why can’t they share but ok). The bf chooses the most expensive pizza. DD says can we also get xx appetizer and cinnamon pull apartment. I’m thinking ok that’s fine we will share that. And then the bf chimes in and requests ANOTHER appetizer on top of what DD has requested.

Ok and here’s a Taco Bell order: “1 beefy fritos burrito and 1 shredded chicken burrito please, Also, can we do the party pack with the 5 layer burritos in the mix instead of the bean burritos”

I mean, is this really normal?

Your family's diet is nasty. But really, if you need to count your pennies at taco bell, you should stop ordering takeout altogether.

DP. Most of us here are on a budget. I went through Jiffy Lube to change oil yesterday, they told me the filter is gross and showed me. I certainly changed it but it did give me pause that it was $40 extra.
OP do not give a thought to this comment on your diet. Do what suits your family. Boyfriend has no manners and only thinks of himself. He is rude. And no shame in counting pennies either!

Taco Bell IS nasty. OP is on a budget yet constantly eating junk takeout, treating people, then complaining about it. She's the one with the problem.

Adult boyfriend is taking advantage of the hospitality. Nobody likes being taken advantage of. Hopefully he at least offers to wash the dishes or help out around the house.

What dishes? It's just fast food wrappers. Maybe he can clean the toilets after the inevitable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s not being rude. He’s ordering what is a meal for him. I have two college aged boys and trust me, he is not ordering too much. Also, how is he supposed to know that cost is an issue if you or your daughter don’t tell the boy? Tell him things are tight right now - ask if he could chip in or tell him that you are only ordering entrees tonight. He can’t read your mind!

You’ve reared your children poorly if they don’t know to follow the ordering cues of the host, and when in doubt, order less. I’m honestly shocked that anyone is defending this abysmal behavior. If I were the host, I’d not say anything to the child, of course, as that would be bad manners, but anyone who did this would not be invited back to my home and I’d think poorly of their parents.

An adult male in college is not a “child.” He should at the very least be offering to pitch in, if not pay his own way.

+1000
Cannot believe how many people pay for their daughter’s boyfriends.

Hosts pay for dinner. I pay for my adult friends. I pay for my parents when they come by. I can't imagine hitting up a guest for the cost of a Taco Bell dinner. That's incredibly impolite.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m conceding on the Chick-fil-A.

Here’s another example. DH texts and says he’s ordering pizza and what would we like. I say I’ll share DS’s cheese pizza. DD and her bf each order their own. Ok fine (I’m thinking why can’t they share but ok). The bf chooses the most expensive pizza. DD says can we also get xx appetizer and cinnamon pull apartment. I’m thinking ok that’s fine we will share that. And then the bf chimes in and requests ANOTHER appetizer on top of what DD has requested.

Ok and here’s a Taco Bell order: “1 beefy fritos burrito and 1 shredded chicken burrito please, Also, can we do the party pack with the 5 layer burritos in the mix instead of the bean burritos”

I mean, is this really normal?

Your family's diet is nasty. But really, if you need to count your pennies at taco bell, you should stop ordering takeout altogether.

DP. Most of us here are on a budget. I went through Jiffy Lube to change oil yesterday, they told me the filter is gross and showed me. I certainly changed it but it did give me pause that it was $40 extra.
OP do not give a thought to this comment on your diet. Do what suits your family. Boyfriend has no manners and only thinks of himself. He is rude. And no shame in counting pennies either!

Taco Bell IS nasty. OP is on a budget yet constantly eating junk takeout, treating people, then complaining about it. She's the one with the problem.

We love TB and can't wait till they bring back some of their menu options in March. Its fine to eat TB every so often. Stop being a snob.

You track and anticipate the menu offerings at Taco Bell? You don't just eat there every so often. This is why Americans are obese and sick.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s not being rude. He’s ordering what is a meal for him. I have two college aged boys and trust me, he is not ordering too much. Also, how is he supposed to know that cost is an issue if you or your daughter don’t tell the boy? Tell him things are tight right now - ask if he could chip in or tell him that you are only ordering entrees tonight. He can’t read your mind!

You’ve reared your children poorly if they don’t know to follow the ordering cues of the host, and when in doubt, order less. I’m honestly shocked that anyone is defending this abysmal behavior. If I were the host, I’d not say anything to the child, of course, as that would be bad manners, but anyone who did this would not be invited back to my home and I’d think poorly of their parents.

An adult male in college is not a “child.” He should at the very least be offering to pitch in, if not pay his own way.

+1000
Cannot believe how many people pay for their daughter’s boyfriends.

Anonymous wrote:I’m amazed how many people think it is ok to take advantage of the generosity of others. Just because someone offers to buy you dinner, you don’t go all out and two main dishes, extras, or the most expensive thing on the menu! Sheesh! This is basic manners people. When you were single and went on dates, did you order two entrees? Dessert and appetizers? Dial back your greed a little when spending someone else’s money.

None of the examples given were excessive --

1. Ordering an extra sandwich from fast food (Chick Fil-A)
2. Ordering an appetizer and dessert along with an entree - normal people do that in a restaurant. I usually don't order in dessert because it doesn't travel all that well
3. Asking for an appetizer after his girlfriend asked the parent for an appetizer and dessert and parent said yes (he was following the lead)
4. Buying a bunch of small things at Taco Bell.

This is not getting the lobster or the filet mignon or the truffle oil. Cheap fast food places were the only time there was any request for what could be considered "two entrees". I don't use the word "entree" when thinking of Taco Bell or Chick-Fil-A.

Mom let the daughter buy extra and didn't say anything -- young man didn't know this was a test for him.

I’m amazed how many people think it is ok to take advantage of the generosity of others. Just because someone offers to buy you dinner, you don’t go all out and two main dishes, extras, or the most expensive thing on the menu! Sheesh! This is basic manners people. When you were single and went on dates, did you order two entrees? Dessert and appetizers? Dial back your greed a little when spending someone else’s money.

Anonymous wrote:DDs bf always ordered steak whenever we would take DD and him out to eat (in the Before Times), so usually his meal cost a bit more than what hubs or I would order. The first time caught us off guard, and it rankled a bit. But then we considered: this kid has known food insecurity. Steak is a food that sparks joy for him--and that shows in the gracious thanks he gives whenever he's treated to it.

To me, the issue not how much the bf orders but whether the bf shows any appreciation--in words or deeds.

Why would it "rankle" for him to accept your offer to take him to dinner, order off the menu, and say thank you?

If steak "rankles," choose a less expensive restaurant. It's up to you as the host to not go somewhere where you don't want someone to literally order off the menu. Take him out for casual Mexican or something if you can't handle steak.

Anonymous wrote:This thread feels like the DCUM trifecta: etiquette, money, and eating habits.

DDs bf always ordered steak whenever we would take DD and him out to eat (in the Before Times), so usually his meal cost a bit more than what hubs or I would order. The first time caught us off guard, and it rankled a bit. But then we considered: this kid has known food insecurity. Steak is a food that sparks joy for him--and that shows in the gracious thanks he gives whenever he's treated to it.

To me, the issue not how much the bf orders but whether the bf shows any appreciation--in words or deeds.

OP I am sorry but your diet is gross.

Young men eat a lot.
Basically anything he ordered, except for the dessert, sounds reasonable to me. If he was more mature, he would offer to pay you back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, answer the question:

Why are you still gossiping about him when you have been given advice and even scripts about how to handle this, directly, once and for all?

Why are you still reading? OP was answering questions; you, on the other hand, have no such excuse.

No, actually,mOP has failed to answer this very simple question. Which is VERY telling.

Wait what question- why am I gossiping? Ummm I’m not? (Please google definition of gossip before replying thx)

You allegedly asked for a solution for him ordering out of bounds of what you deem acceptable.

The solutions and even scripts have been provided to you. Yet you do not acknowledge those solutions; you simply bash this young man, and seem to want everyone to join you in saying he is rude and clueless.

My question is: why? You have a solution. Why are you not simply implementing it, and moving on?

This.

I...didn’t ask for a solution. I asked if people thought it was rude. I followed up by posting actual examples to get more info. Why are you so invested in this? Do your kids do this when other people are buying?

My kids are 7 and 5...so nope.

Solutions abound. You clearly just want to spend your time criticizing and gossiping about a young man. I hope you feel better and get a life of your own soon.

Maybe a weight loss and diet overhaul would better occupy your time?

At those ages, its the time to teach your kids manners when they go out with friend's parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m conceding on the Chick-fil-A.

Here’s another example. DH texts and says he’s ordering pizza and what would we like. I say I’ll share DS’s cheese pizza. DD and her bf each order their own. Ok fine (I’m thinking why can’t they share but ok). The bf chooses the most expensive pizza. DD says can we also get xx appetizer and cinnamon pull apartment. I’m thinking ok that’s fine we will share that. And then the bf chimes in and requests ANOTHER appetizer on top of what DD has requested.

Ok and here’s a Taco Bell order: “1 beefy fritos burrito and 1 shredded chicken burrito please, Also, can we do the party pack with the 5 layer burritos in the mix instead of the bean burritos”

I mean, is this really normal?

Your family's diet is nasty. But really, if you need to count your pennies at taco bell, you should stop ordering takeout altogether.

DP. Most of us here are on a budget. I went through Jiffy Lube to change oil yesterday, they told me the filter is gross and showed me. I certainly changed it but it did give me pause that it was $40 extra.
OP do not give a thought to this comment on your diet. Do what suits your family. Boyfriend has no manners and only thinks of himself. He is rude. And no shame in counting pennies either!

Taco Bell IS nasty. OP is on a budget yet constantly eating junk takeout, treating people, then complaining about it. She's the one with the problem.

We love TB and can't wait till they bring back some of their menu options in March. Its fine to eat TB every so often. Stop being a snob.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is fake. You cannot even get Beefy Fritos Burritos at TB any more.

Haha, you’re right...I did think about that! Also, the taco/burrito pack already comes with beefy 5 layer burritos and not bean burritos. Not saying it’s fake, but for such specific details OP’s recollection may be off.

$10 for 4 crunchy tacos and 4 beefy 5 layer burritos. So cheap it scares me.

Everyone knows TB beef isn't real. Their beans are powder too.. but still good.

If he’s a nice, serious boyfriend and you can afford it just stomach it and deal.

You could also:
- order less frequently, and tell your daughter why (she might say something)
- make dessert at home or encourage them to eat snacks before dinner
- say “no ordering dessert tonight”
- ask your daughter to pay every 4th time or something
- be direct with him “hey Bobby we did a budget look and are ordering a lot of take out but we want to stick to entrees only. Let me know what kinds of apps or desserts we can stock to supplement that so we’re not always ordering those things.”