Anonymous
04/27/2020 01:34
Subject: Re:What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?
"This is ridiculous. Very few UMC families are in elite circles with the rich and powerful. Many of us are simply dual income white collar worker bees."
Then you're not UMC. And you don't realize that many, if not most, of "the powerful" have salaries of $200K or less. You might have a nice income, but you don't belong to that elite UMC grouping. UMC people are not worker bees. Many work around the clock, but their work often involves higher level thinking and relationship building. Or they have skills and credentials that garner high salaries, like physicians or CPAs. These aren't people who punch a time clock or get paid overtime. They might only earn about the same as a DC cop with seniority who pulls lots of overtime and side gigs, but how they earn that money is very different.
Then you're not UMC. And you don't realize that many, if not most, of "the powerful" have salaries of $200K or less. You might have a nice income, but you don't belong to that elite UMC grouping. UMC people are not worker bees. Many work around the clock, but their work often involves higher level thinking and relationship building. Or they have skills and credentials that garner high salaries, like physicians or CPAs. These aren't people who punch a time clock or get paid overtime. They might only earn about the same as a DC cop with seniority who pulls lots of overtime and side gigs, but how they earn that money is very different.
Anonymous
04/27/2020 01:22
Subject: Re:What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?
Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone has mentioned these things that are part of a UMC childhood in the US:
Parents who attended elite colleges and whose circle of friends are similarly well educated
Parents who have graduate degrees
In the DMV, parents whose connections get you into the White House grounds for special events when their party is in power
In the DMV Members of Congress or their senior staff, or high level appointees are on your family's guest lists for celebrations like baptisms and 50th birthdays
Family friends who can help arrange for unpaid internships
Family friends whose name on a letter of recommendation will get noticed
Vacations involving water craft do not have anything to do with water skiing, those party barge pontoon boats, or jet skis. You either sail or paddle to move the boat if you're living the UMC lifestyle
Multiple languages spoken by people in your family, or at least one of your parents lived in another country for a semester
Membership in the local museum associations
At least a few works of art purchased directly from a somewhat successful artist - OR - a study of a masterpiece
Parents attend fundraisers and serve on boards
I don’t know. Our hhi is $325K, so decidedly well above middle class, but we don’t have most of this. This sounds more upper class to me.
Anonymous
04/27/2020 01:11
Subject: What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?
Anonymous wrote:Who on here knows they can support their kids for life? Genuinely curious about this.
I know that we can. We don’t intend to, however. We owe her a stable childhood, support, and an education. Whatever she wants beyond that, is up to her.
Although we’re wealthy, no one beyond our financial planners will really see it. No ponies, fancy cars, or week long camps here. Our mindset is that of people that are solidly MC. We don’t care to be any fancier than that. The only extra the money really brings us a certain peace of mind, and the ability to spend it in ways that might be impactful to more than the 3 people in this household.
Anonymous
04/27/2020 00:11
Subject: Re:What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone has mentioned these things that are part of a UMC childhood in the US:
Parents who attended elite colleges and whose circle of friends are similarly well educated
Parents who have graduate degrees
In the DMV, parents whose connections get you into the White House grounds for special events when their party is in power
In the DMV Members of Congress or their senior staff, or high level appointees are on your family's guest lists for celebrations like baptisms and 50th birthdays
Family friends who can help arrange for unpaid internships
Family friends whose name on a letter of recommendation will get noticed
Vacations involving water craft do not have anything to do with water skiing, those party barge pontoon boats, or jet skis. You either sail or paddle to move the boat if you're living the UMC lifestyle
Multiple languages spoken by people in your family, or at least one of your parents lived in another country for a semester
Membership in the local museum associations
At least a few works of art purchased directly from a somewhat successful artist - OR - a study of a masterpiece
Parents attend fundraisers and serve on boards
This! I think the level of social capital and connections is a key difference between a MC and UMC childhood. Being able to tap your parents’ or family’s extensive network of influential friends, family and acquaintances for advice and assistance with higher education admissions, internships (paid and unpaid) and professional opportunities in childhood and early professional experiences. This is especially true for those useful life experiences during the summers in high school that get noticed on college applications, those unpaid internships during the first or second year of college before on campus interviews start, the networking with highly placed employees when considering a career change or joining a board or social club. It’s much easier to identify career fields and opportunities when you can learn the ins and outs of the job from someone there and well positioned to go to bat for you and tell you about opportunities before they are publicly posted. A good piece of advice. The secret to a lot of success if you want to be in the UMC is “picking your parents well”!
This is ridiculous. Very few UMC families are in elite circles with the rich and powerful. Many of us are simply dual income white collar worker bees.
It can definitely be a mix. We are UMC and do fundraisers but we don’t do the full on donations because we don’t have that kind of money. We went to elite colleges. I SAH. We have connections to get internships but not necessarily into the WH. There’s 3 degrees in my mind of the UMC jump to UC. There’s 300k UMC (which is dual workers), $1 mil upper upper middle (where we fall), and finally $4-5 million entering UC but still not with those connections. I know if we joined the right country clubs we could. It’s still so very hard to break in. Regardless of elite degrees. Also some parents prioritize colleges or private school or certain things, than others.
But the elite want to hobknob with other movers and shakers. Why would they want to socialize with a SAHM? Maybe the husband if he’s important enough, but in that case he should be making those connections through work and organic networking, not needing to join a country club.
Anonymous
04/26/2020 23:49
Subject: Re:What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?
Being able to survive and live comfortably in the terrible worldwide downturn and recession that will happen for the next 5-6 years at the least. Being able to afford food and comfortable home (ie AC or electricity) for the next few years.
Anonymous
04/26/2020 23:44
Subject: Re:What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone has mentioned these things that are part of a UMC childhood in the US:
Parents who attended elite colleges and whose circle of friends are similarly well educated
Parents who have graduate degrees
In the DMV, parents whose connections get you into the White House grounds for special events when their party is in power
In the DMV Members of Congress or their senior staff, or high level appointees are on your family's guest lists for celebrations like baptisms and 50th birthdays
Family friends who can help arrange for unpaid internships
Family friends whose name on a letter of recommendation will get noticed
Vacations involving water craft do not have anything to do with water skiing, those party barge pontoon boats, or jet skis. You either sail or paddle to move the boat if you're living the UMC lifestyle
Multiple languages spoken by people in your family, or at least one of your parents lived in another country for a semester
Membership in the local museum associations
At least a few works of art purchased directly from a somewhat successful artist - OR - a study of a masterpiece
Parents attend fundraisers and serve on boards
This! I think the level of social capital and connections is a key difference between a MC and UMC childhood. Being able to tap your parents’ or family’s extensive network of influential friends, family and acquaintances for advice and assistance with higher education admissions, internships (paid and unpaid) and professional opportunities in childhood and early professional experiences. This is especially true for those useful life experiences during the summers in high school that get noticed on college applications, those unpaid internships during the first or second year of college before on campus interviews start, the networking with highly placed employees when considering a career change or joining a board or social club. It’s much easier to identify career fields and opportunities when you can learn the ins and outs of the job from someone there and well positioned to go to bat for you and tell you about opportunities before they are publicly posted. A good piece of advice. The secret to a lot of success if you want to be in the UMC is “picking your parents well”!
This is ridiculous. Very few UMC families are in elite circles with the rich and powerful. Many of us are simply dual income white collar worker bees.
It can definitely be a mix. We are UMC and do fundraisers but we don’t do the full on donations because we don’t have that kind of money. We went to elite colleges. I SAH. We have connections to get internships but not necessarily into the WH. There’s 3 degrees in my mind of the UMC jump to UC. There’s 300k UMC (which is dual workers), $1 mil upper upper middle (where we fall), and finally $4-5 million entering UC but still not with those connections. I know if we joined the right country clubs we could. It’s still so very hard to break in. Regardless of elite degrees. Also some parents prioritize colleges or private school or certain things, than others.
Anonymous
04/26/2020 23:35
Subject: Re:What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone has mentioned these things that are part of a UMC childhood in the US:
Parents who attended elite colleges and whose circle of friends are similarly well educated
Parents who have graduate degrees
In the DMV, parents whose connections get you into the White House grounds for special events when their party is in power
In the DMV Members of Congress or their senior staff, or high level appointees are on your family's guest lists for celebrations like baptisms and 50th birthdays
Family friends who can help arrange for unpaid internships
Family friends whose name on a letter of recommendation will get noticed
Vacations involving water craft do not have anything to do with water skiing, those party barge pontoon boats, or jet skis. You either sail or paddle to move the boat if you're living the UMC lifestyle
Multiple languages spoken by people in your family, or at least one of your parents lived in another country for a semester
Membership in the local museum associations
At least a few works of art purchased directly from a somewhat successful artist - OR - a study of a masterpiece
Parents attend fundraisers and serve on boards
This! I think the level of social capital and connections is a key difference between a MC and UMC childhood. Being able to tap your parents’ or family’s extensive network of influential friends, family and acquaintances for advice and assistance with higher education admissions, internships (paid and unpaid) and professional opportunities in childhood and early professional experiences. This is especially true for those useful life experiences during the summers in high school that get noticed on college applications, those unpaid internships during the first or second year of college before on campus interviews start, the networking with highly placed employees when considering a career change or joining a board or social club. It’s much easier to identify career fields and opportunities when you can learn the ins and outs of the job from someone there and well positioned to go to bat for you and tell you about opportunities before they are publicly posted. A good piece of advice. The secret to a lot of success if you want to be in the UMC is “picking your parents well”!
This is ridiculous. Very few UMC families are in elite circles with the rich and powerful. Many of us are simply dual income white collar worker bees.
Anonymous
04/26/2020 23:06
Subject: Re:What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if it’s me being a cheap Asian, but I consider myself UMC ($300k) and barely do any of the things listed on this thread. Vacation home? Fancy private schools? Luxe travel with young kids? HA. About the only thing I did was buy a beautiful home in a pricey suburb and save aggressively to pay for college and a nest egg.
Yeah it all depends on what kind of family you were raised in and also your cultural values. My guess is most of these UMC posters are white. I know for typical Indian culture the family will not spend tons of money on vacations every year and will instead aggressively save for their kid’s college and weddings (if they have daughters), perhaps buy a fancy car to show they’ve made it, and save towards buying a huge new build in a good public school district. Different cultural values than most of these posters on this thread.
I mean, not really. Every poster who mentioned vacations also mentioned a big house in a “good” school district and 100% of college paid for. I would assume vacations are a nice extra after the mortgage is paid and 529s are funded.
The wedding thing - that’s a big cultural difference, I’ll grant you that!
I’d rather give each of my kids 50k with the expectation that they put it towards a down payment, rather than a wedding.
My parents did this for us, 60k. Use it for a wedding, take it and run, use it as a downpayment, whatever you want but that's the one-time sum. I'll do the same, it was very fair.
Anonymous
04/26/2020 22:46
Subject: What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?
+1
Anonymous
04/26/2020 20:35
Subject: Re:What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone has mentioned these things that are part of a UMC childhood in the US:
Parents who attended elite colleges and whose circle of friends are similarly well educated
Parents who have graduate degrees
In the DMV, parents whose connections get you into the White House grounds for special events when their party is in power
In the DMV Members of Congress or their senior staff, or high level appointees are on your family's guest lists for celebrations like baptisms and 50th birthdays
Family friends who can help arrange for unpaid internships
Family friends whose name on a letter of recommendation will get noticed
Vacations involving water craft do not have anything to do with water skiing, those party barge pontoon boats, or jet skis. You either sail or paddle to move the boat if you're living the UMC lifestyle
Multiple languages spoken by people in your family, or at least one of your parents lived in another country for a semester
Membership in the local museum associations
At least a few works of art purchased directly from a somewhat successful artist - OR - a study of a masterpiece
Parents attend fundraisers and serve on boards
This! I think the level of social capital and connections is a key difference between a MC and UMC childhood. Being able to tap your parents’ or family’s extensive network of influential friends, family and acquaintances for advice and assistance with higher education admissions, internships (paid and unpaid) and professional opportunities in childhood and early professional experiences. This is especially true for those useful life experiences during the summers in high school that get noticed on college applications, those unpaid internships during the first or second year of college before on campus interviews start, the networking with highly placed employees when considering a career change or joining a board or social club. It’s much easier to identify career fields and opportunities when you can learn the ins and outs of the job from someone there and well positioned to go to bat for you and tell you about opportunities before they are publicly posted. A good piece of advice. The secret to a lot of success if you want to be in the UMC is “picking your parents well”!
This so called secret to success can be debunked by being highly intelligent and a hard worker. I was raised in an UMC family. Parents had connections, college was paid for, lived in a big house, rode horses, played sports, traveled, etc... My husband came from a LMC family. He went to a no name college but he is damm smart and has an excellent work ethic. We are well off because of him, not his parents. He started a very lucrative business after his first job out of college and has not had a handout or any strings pulled for him. Motivation, work ethic and intelligence is the secret to a lot of success.
Anonymous
04/26/2020 10:14
Subject: What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?
Parents who excuse all your bad behavior and buy you things to avoid paying attention to or spending time with you
Anonymous
04/26/2020 08:48
Subject: Re:What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?
Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone has mentioned these things that are part of a UMC childhood in the US:
Parents who attended elite colleges and whose circle of friends are similarly well educated
Parents who have graduate degrees
In the DMV, parents whose connections get you into the White House grounds for special events when their party is in power
In the DMV Members of Congress or their senior staff, or high level appointees are on your family's guest lists for celebrations like baptisms and 50th birthdays
Family friends who can help arrange for unpaid internships
Family friends whose name on a letter of recommendation will get noticed
Vacations involving water craft do not have anything to do with water skiing, those party barge pontoon boats, or jet skis. You either sail or paddle to move the boat if you're living the UMC lifestyle
Multiple languages spoken by people in your family, or at least one of your parents lived in another country for a semester
Membership in the local museum associations
At least a few works of art purchased directly from a somewhat successful artist - OR - a study of a masterpiece
Parents attend fundraisers and serve on boards
This! I think the level of social capital and connections is a key difference between a MC and UMC childhood. Being able to tap your parents’ or family’s extensive network of influential friends, family and acquaintances for advice and assistance with higher education admissions, internships (paid and unpaid) and professional opportunities in childhood and early professional experiences. This is especially true for those useful life experiences during the summers in high school that get noticed on college applications, those unpaid internships during the first or second year of college before on campus interviews start, the networking with highly placed employees when considering a career change or joining a board or social club. It’s much easier to identify career fields and opportunities when you can learn the ins and outs of the job from someone there and well positioned to go to bat for you and tell you about opportunities before they are publicly posted. A good piece of advice. The secret to a lot of success if you want to be in the UMC is “picking your parents well”!
Anonymous
04/26/2020 03:19
Subject: Re:What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?
I don't think anyone has mentioned these things that are part of a UMC childhood in the US:
Parents who attended elite colleges and whose circle of friends are similarly well educated
Parents who have graduate degrees
In the DMV, parents whose connections get you into the White House grounds for special events when their party is in power
In the DMV Members of Congress or their senior staff, or high level appointees are on your family's guest lists for celebrations like baptisms and 50th birthdays
Family friends who can help arrange for unpaid internships
Family friends whose name on a letter of recommendation will get noticed
Vacations involving water craft do not have anything to do with water skiing, those party barge pontoon boats, or jet skis. You either sail or paddle to move the boat if you're living the UMC lifestyle
Multiple languages spoken by people in your family, or at least one of your parents lived in another country for a semester
Membership in the local museum associations
At least a few works of art purchased directly from a somewhat successful artist - OR - a study of a masterpiece
Parents attend fundraisers and serve on boards
Parents who attended elite colleges and whose circle of friends are similarly well educated
Parents who have graduate degrees
In the DMV, parents whose connections get you into the White House grounds for special events when their party is in power
In the DMV Members of Congress or their senior staff, or high level appointees are on your family's guest lists for celebrations like baptisms and 50th birthdays
Family friends who can help arrange for unpaid internships
Family friends whose name on a letter of recommendation will get noticed
Vacations involving water craft do not have anything to do with water skiing, those party barge pontoon boats, or jet skis. You either sail or paddle to move the boat if you're living the UMC lifestyle
Multiple languages spoken by people in your family, or at least one of your parents lived in another country for a semester
Membership in the local museum associations
At least a few works of art purchased directly from a somewhat successful artist - OR - a study of a masterpiece
Parents attend fundraisers and serve on boards
Anonymous
04/25/2020 21:09
Subject: Re:What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?
Anonymous wrote:The moralizing on this thread is really something else.
The only thing that tons of money makes you is wealthy. It does not make you kind, classy, motivated, compassionate, creative, artistic, or anything else.
Being poor doesn’t make you those things either. You are moralizing too.
Anonymous
04/25/2020 14:50
Subject: What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The obsession with maintaining a full schedule of organized activities seems weird and stressful.
The average middle class teen is idle on their butt all day long playing video games, on their phone or streaming Netflix.
The always busy overachiever striver is perhaps <2.5% of all teens.
I’d rather have my kids maintain full schedules than be terminally unmotivated bumps on a log.
See this is what I hate. A kid/teen not in a boat load of activities doesn't have to be a bump on a log or a trouble maker. How rude and offensive.
Yep. This PP is laughably out of touch. I live and work in the suburbs of a small city far outside of the DMV. I have coached high school and college sports and there are plenty of kids who don’t have the money for all the best camps or even the best equipment yet spend a lot of time working hard to be good at their sport (and many have gone on to play at higher levels. I myself was a D1 athlete who was solidly middle class; I would venture to say a large portion of high level athletes are - just look at the hometowns of many of the NFL draftees). There are also a lot of kids who aren’t rich or upper class who are talented singers, artists, etc. I almost have to think PP is a troll. Just because you don’t have a lot of money doesn’t mean you can’t have talent, ambition, or a great work ethic.