Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This post and the responses stuck with me last night. I don’t understand why everyone jumped to camps where either the OP or the twin mom is an awful person. The cynicism and judgement is saddening.
It absolutely is a burden to spend an extra 10 minutes every morning helping out another family for several weeks. Tougher still if the OP doesn’t feel any gratitude or close relationship with the other family.
But I can honestly say that it would be an honor if I were in a position make that small sacrifice to help a neighbor out. Especially if that neighbor is recovering from a c-section or otherwise struggling in the weeks after birth. I’d go to bed sleeping better because I had an easy opportunity to do something nice for someone every day. Every morning already you’ve improved someone’s day - that’s awesome!
As a result of this post and the responses, DH and I talked for while last night about how isolated families are and how hard it is to ask for or receive support. We’re going to look for more ways to proactively volunteer to help our neighbors or the families of our kid’s classmates. We both work full time and struggle with the usual time-money-energy balances, but we have yet to regret any of the small ways we’ve extended ourselves in the past.
This warms my heart so much!
We're an isolated family and had an experience where I was the akin to the twin mom. I had no idea that it was such a big favor for the other mom to do (taking my kid to school along with hers and other neighbors) as they were all walking together in a group. My older one did it with a different group and they loved having her walk along with them. I messed that up because the previous parent was so welcoming.
Please just explain your tight schedule and the extra stress it causes you and she will understand, accommodate, and might even be a little embarrassed.
Anonymous wrote:This post and the responses stuck with me last night. I don’t understand why everyone jumped to camps where either the OP or the twin mom is an awful person. The cynicism and judgement is saddening.
It absolutely is a burden to spend an extra 10 minutes every morning helping out another family for several weeks. Tougher still if the OP doesn’t feel any gratitude or close relationship with the other family.
But I can honestly say that it would be an honor if I were in a position make that small sacrifice to help a neighbor out. Especially if that neighbor is recovering from a c-section or otherwise struggling in the weeks after birth. I’d go to bed sleeping better because I had an easy opportunity to do something nice for someone every day. Every morning already you’ve improved someone’s day - that’s awesome!
As a result of this post and the responses, DH and I talked for while last night about how isolated families are and how hard it is to ask for or receive support. We’re going to look for more ways to proactively volunteer to help our neighbors or the families of our kid’s classmates. We both work full time and struggle with the usual time-money-energy balances, but we have yet to regret any of the small ways we’ve extended ourselves in the past.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What happened with OP?
They prob had the good sense to figure this out, make a new arrangement or pause the extra kid run, and quit reading.
This is IP, I’m still here.
Still driving the kids through the week, still contemplating my next move.
The dad is at work, or at least that’s what they say, but he isn’t there in the mornings, his car is gone when the kids come out of the garage. We aren’t good friends, so I don’t know the whole story. The kids live a few houses down, but they have to cross a street and I know the mom doesn’t want them to do that, because she won’t let them to play with kids on our side of that road.
She could go and stand there while they walked across, but—
What annoys me most, other than having to lose minutes in the AM, is that the mom is in pajamas when she waves them off. Like she isn’t even ready! She’s 100% dependent on me showing up.
Yesterday morning my kids were being particularly difficult and I REALLY could have used an extra few minutes. I ended up having to leave dirty bowls and other stuff out on the table to deal with a kid issue, and then we just had to leave, because I knew I had to pick them up. I just want MY mornings back. If I had had that five extra minutes, I could have tidied up.
And no, to those who think I’m already leaving 10 minutes early for my kids, I’m not. Let’s say bus picks at 8. I would leave with my kids at 7:55. I’m now leaving my house at 7:45. So I am losing 10 minutes. I still arrive at the bus stop at 7:55, and yes, it takes the kids time to get in and buckle. I’m not lying or exaggerating.
Anonymous wrote:OP, I totally get it and would feel the same as you. I'm an anxious person and my life always feels too busy, so taking on even a small favor/responsibility for a prolonged period of time would start to bother me for all the reasons you've mentioned. I wouldn't mind doing it for someone I really loved (like close friends or family), but just an acquaintance, it would grow old.
I have neighbors like that, I've learned my limits and just say no when I reach them and they usually respect that. I am more comfortable inconveniencing myself than asking for favors and sometimes when I do ask I am told no, so it goes both ways.
When it comes to favors do what you're comfortable with and not what society dictates.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What happened with OP?
They prob had the good sense to figure this out, make a new arrangement or pause the extra kid run, and quit reading.
This is IP, I’m still here.
Still driving the kids through the week, still contemplating my next move.
The dad is at work, or at least that’s what they say, but he isn’t there in the mornings, his car is gone when the kids come out of the garage. We aren’t good friends, so I don’t know the whole story. The kids live a few houses down, but they have to cross a street and I know the mom doesn’t want them to do that, because she won’t let them to play with kids on our side of that road.
She could go and stand there while they walked across, but—
What annoys me most, other than having to lose minutes in the AM, is that the mom is in pajamas when she waves them off. Like she isn’t even ready! She’s 100% dependent on me showing up.
Yesterday morning my kids were being particularly difficult and I REALLY could have used an extra few minutes. I ended up having to leave dirty bowls and other stuff out on the table to deal with a kid issue, and then we just had to leave, because I knew I had to pick them up. I just want MY mornings back. If I had had that five extra minutes, I could have tidied up.
And no, to those who think I’m already leaving 10 minutes early for my kids, I’m not. Let’s say bus picks at 8. I would leave with my kids at 7:55. I’m now leaving my house at 7:45. So I am losing 10 minutes. I still arrive at the bus stop at 7:55, and yes, it takes the kids time to get in and buckle. I’m not lying or exaggerating.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What happened with OP?
They prob had the good sense to figure this out, make a new arrangement or pause the extra kid run, and quit reading.
This is IP, I’m still here.
Still driving the kids through the week, still contemplating my next move.
The dad is at work, or at least that’s what they say, but he isn’t there in the mornings, his car is gone when the kids come out of the garage. We aren’t good friends, so I don’t know the whole story. The kids live a few houses down, but they have to cross a street and I know the mom doesn’t want them to do that, because she won’t let them to play with kids on our side of that road.
She could go and stand there while they walked across, but—
What annoys me most, other than having to lose minutes in the AM, is that the mom is in pajamas when she waves them off. Like she isn’t even ready! She’s 100% dependent on me showing up.
Yesterday morning my kids were being particularly difficult and I REALLY could have used an extra few minutes. I ended up having to leave dirty bowls and other stuff out on the table to deal with a kid issue, and then we just had to leave, because I knew I had to pick them up. I just want MY mornings back. If I had had that five extra minutes, I could have tidied up.
And no, to those who think I’m already leaving 10 minutes early for my kids, I’m not. Let’s say bus picks at 8. I would leave with my kids at 7:55. I’m now leaving my house at 7:45. So I am losing 10 minutes. I still arrive at the bus stop at 7:55, and yes, it takes the kids time to get in and buckle. I’m not lying or exaggerating.
I have zero empathy for someone that can’t tell another adult no and then nitpicks and whines online about it. You owe her nothing but definitely need to say something out loud to this person.
I’m so done here.
I say I don’t want to do it and I’m chastised for being rude and unhelpful.
Mi elaborate, like asked, and I’m chastised for being weak.
So which is it?
I’m over here thinking, maybe I should keep doing this, because I’m being brown beaten here for even thinking I stop. Now you’re all kicking my ass because I am still doing it! You’re all a piece of work!