Anonymous
Post 07/21/2015 11:08     Subject: I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate
Anonymous wrote:My husband gave me HPV. I had two LEEPS. Not the end of the world.

My friend's husband also gave it to her.

Almost every one of my friends have had it. My doctor even said you pretty much can't date or have sex and not get it.

It has nothing to do with promiscuity.


Quite a group of friends.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2015 10:39     Subject: I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate
Anonymous wrote:My husband gave me HPV. I had two LEEPS. Not the end of the world.

My friend's husband also gave it to her.

Almost every one of my friends have had it. My doctor even said you pretty much can't date or have sex and not get it.

It has nothing to do with promiscuity.


keep telling yourself that.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2015 09:13     Subject: I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate
My husband gave me HPV. I had two LEEPS. Not the end of the world.

My friend's husband also gave it to her.

Almost every one of my friends have had it. My doctor even said you pretty much can't date or have sex and not get it.

It has nothing to do with promiscuity.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2015 09:03     Subject: Re:I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The vaccine only innoculates up to 9 strains of HPV. There are 50 something strains of HPV out there.

2 strains are associated with cervical and oropharyngeal cancer, it protects against both of them 100%


The fact that you used the term 100% means you're not a biologist. Virus mutation is always happening. "New" bugs come along all the time.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2015 09:00     Subject: Re:I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:


You may be a doctor, but you're obviously completely unfamiilar with the research on this. Teaching absitence/reduction of partners doesn't prevent STDs or pregnancy or unwanted sex. In fact, teaching abstinence/partner reduction is correlated with an INCREASE in STDs and unplanned pregnancies and unwanted sex. (Probably because people say they aren't going to have sex, dont plan for sex, and then have sex anyway.) Teaching people how to use condoms, get tested, use birth control, what consent is, and how to say "yes" or "no" without shame is associated with a descrease in STDs, unplanned pregnancies, and non-consensual sex.



The request for sex is made because there is an expectation that there will be a yes. So if there were more no answers, IOW if no became more common, there would be fewer requests.
No one on this thread has said that sex ed or access to condoms should be restricted. Not one person has said that.
The abstinence approach was done with the Sarah Palin crowd and we know that it can fail. Does not always fail, but can fail.
There is nothing wrong with sex ed, access to condoms , and a culture of no.


97% of people are not virgins when they marry. Abstinence's success rate is actually lower than the margin for error. Let's stop pretending that that is a reasonable goal. It isn't nor has it ever been. People have sex when they decide they are going to have sex. All we can do it provided them with the best information we can. So far, we are failing in this respect.



When they decide is the operative term. Not when society decides, or when the overly pushy partner decides. Face it, a ton of people have low self esteem, little self respect, no confidence, and people will prey on them. Getting a lonely person to yes can be easy. But we all know deep down what it is to use someone else.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2015 23:07     Subject: Re:I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate
Anonymous wrote:The vaccine only innoculates up to 9 strains of HPV. There are 50 something strains of HPV out there.

2 strains are associated with cervical and oropharyngeal cancer, it protects against both of them 100%
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2015 23:03     Subject: Re:I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate
Anonymous wrote:


You may be a doctor, but you're obviously completely unfamiilar with the research on this. Teaching absitence/reduction of partners doesn't prevent STDs or pregnancy or unwanted sex. In fact, teaching abstinence/partner reduction is correlated with an INCREASE in STDs and unplanned pregnancies and unwanted sex. (Probably because people say they aren't going to have sex, dont plan for sex, and then have sex anyway.) Teaching people how to use condoms, get tested, use birth control, what consent is, and how to say "yes" or "no" without shame is associated with a descrease in STDs, unplanned pregnancies, and non-consensual sex.



The request for sex is made because there is an expectation that there will be a yes. So if there were more no answers, IOW if no became more common, there would be fewer requests.
No one on this thread has said that sex ed or access to condoms should be restricted. Not one person has said that.
The abstinence approach was done with the Sarah Palin crowd and we know that it can fail. Does not always fail, but can fail.
There is nothing wrong with sex ed, access to condoms , and a culture of no.


97% of people are not virgins when they marry. Abstinence's success rate is actually lower than the margin for error. Let's stop pretending that that is a reasonable goal. It isn't nor has it ever been. People have sex when they decide they are going to have sex. All we can do it provided them with the best information we can. So far, we are failing in this respect.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2015 20:07     Subject: Re:I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad. Yes most women like good sex and want to get married. It is sad we live in a culture where women are afraid to voice a desire for children and marriage and a family. Sleeping around is not good for a woman's soul.


It's not good for anyone's. Life works best when things are in balance. And men also want to settle down and have a family.


Some people want to settle down (eventually) and some simply don't think that far ahead. I'm a man who married at 30, and had 4 partners prior to meeting my DW. She in turn had 3 partners prior to me. All of our partners were in the context of established relationships.

I mentioned this thread to DW and asked her if she'd have dated me if I'd told her I'd had, say, 20 partners. She said no, she wouldn't be interested in someone so cavalier about sex. I in turn wouldn't have dated her if she'd have had 20 partners. For the same reason. We both wanted someone who viewed sex as something special between intimate partners, not simply a casual encounter to get your rocks off.

I guess we're just nuts.




No, you are two like-minded people who found each other, which is just as it should be. Other like-minded people with a different view on sex find each other too. So it all works out in the end.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2015 19:25     Subject: Re:I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad. Yes most women like good sex and want to get married. It is sad we live in a culture where women are afraid to voice a desire for children and marriage and a family. Sleeping around is not good for a woman's soul.


It's not good for anyone's. Life works best when things are in balance. And men also want to settle down and have a family.


Some people want to settle down (eventually) and some simply don't think that far ahead. I'm a man who married at 30, and had 4 partners prior to meeting my DW. She in turn had 3 partners prior to me. All of our partners were in the context of established relationships.

I mentioned this thread to DW and asked her if she'd have dated me if I'd told her I'd had, say, 20 partners. She said no, she wouldn't be interested in someone so cavalier about sex. I in turn wouldn't have dated her if she'd have had 20 partners. For the same reason. We both wanted someone who viewed sex as something special between intimate partners, not simply a casual encounter to get your rocks off.

I guess we're just nuts.

Anonymous
Post 07/20/2015 13:11     Subject: Re:I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate
Anonymous wrote:I rather be in the half of the population that doesn't have herpes. You may think I am paranoid but I still want to be able to kiss my baby some day. just another health tip: Use straws at restaurants.

Some pics: http://www.pediatricsconsultant360.com/content/infant-fever-and-vesicular-rash/page/0/1



ITA. Some folks act like you haven't loved until you've had one STD.
My body is way too precious for the craziness
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2015 10:36     Subject: Re:I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate
I rather be in the half of the population that doesn't have herpes. You may think I am paranoid but I still want to be able to kiss my baby some day. just another health tip: Use straws at restaurants.

Some pics: http://www.pediatricsconsultant360.com/content/infant-fever-and-vesicular-rash/page/0/1
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2015 10:25     Subject: Re:I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Urghed herpes is terrible. My SO is a dermatologist and he has seen cases where women with herpes kiss their babies unknowingly, and the next thing you know the baby has herpes sores all over its body. Its horrible for the baby and they are in agony. Because of that, he has said he will never let any strangers kiss any children we have.

My MIL has herpes. We've had to advise her how to treat it a couple of times. Once she washed her face and it nearly got to her eye and caused blindness. Any lowering of immunity and it appears. She has multiple rashes and we're always on the watch out for it. Herpes can be transmitted by sharing utensils and drinks, so we have to have separate silverware for her.

Anyone who says HSV is just like the cold is off his or her rocker.


Very little of this post makes sense. Multiple rashes? Where? Millions of people have HSV 1 orally but not all of them know it. You'd better have separate utensils for everyone.


Most of this post makes sense. Wait till you see a baby with herpes sores on it because its mother did not realize she had the live virus shedding and kissed her baby.

The truth is herpes can be transmitted through sharing drinks and using contaminated utensils. My MIL has to manage her outbreaks carefully since she lives with us. Everytime her immunity is low she has to cope with nasty outbreaks. And yes, you're rolling the dice. The truth of it is HSV is not a fun disease to have, regardless of what people say.

Anonymous
Post 07/20/2015 09:52     Subject: Re:I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad. Yes most women like good sex and want to get married. It is sad we live in a culture where women are afraid to voice a desire for children and marriage and a family. Sleeping around is not good for a woman's soul.


It's not good for anyone's. Life works best when things are in balance. And men also want to settle down and have a family.


Agree. I am sure that the men have their side of the story too. Maybe we will see a return to people accepting that they have feelings and that they want emotional relationships and co dependence.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2015 09:24     Subject: Re:I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate
Anonymous wrote:Urghed herpes is terrible. My SO is a dermatologist and he has seen cases where women with herpes kiss their babies unknowingly, and the next thing you know the baby has herpes sores all over its body. Its horrible for the baby and they are in agony. Because of that, he has said he will never let any strangers kiss any children we have.

My MIL has herpes. We've had to advise her how to treat it a couple of times. Once she washed her face and it nearly got to her eye and caused blindness. Any lowering of immunity and it appears. She has multiple rashes and we're always on the watch out for it. Herpes can be transmitted by sharing utensils and drinks, so we have to have separate silverware for her.

Anyone who says HSV is just like the cold is off his or her rocker.


Very little of this post makes sense. Multiple rashes? Where? Millions of people have HSV 1 orally but not all of them know it. You'd better have separate utensils for everyone.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2015 09:17     Subject: Re:I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate
Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad. Yes most women like good sex and want to get married. It is sad we live in a culture where women are afraid to voice a desire for children and marriage and a family. Sleeping around is not good for a woman's soul.


It's not good for anyone's. Life works best when things are in balance. And men also want to settle down and have a family.