I went to private schools, and I send my kid to public schools. I can't imagine interrogating someone else about their choices, but I would think an enthusiastic, "We found a program that is just the perfect fit for Larla and our family!" would be sufficient for most people.

That's good pp. That sounds nice.

I live in DC and the schools suck near me. I was surprised when a very wealthy group of Jewish women asked me about why I sent my kid to a very elite private. They acted like my kid must be SN or something. I have had the experience that a lot of Jewish folks don't want to pay for school if it can be had for free. Even though they are super rich they don't want to pay for elementary school and high school. I don't get that.

I told them I hated public schools and that is why I sent my kid to private. And, then they asked me if my kid had a learning disability. It was so weird.

I live in a close-knit neighborhood with good public schools, so I've met plenty of people who are surprised/offended/irked that we chose private school. How I answer depends on how the question is asked. If I know it's an earnest question from someone really looking for understanding, I explain how the fit makes sense for our kids. If I'm not sure (or if the question carries a hostile undertone), I just answer "oh, lots of different reasons," and then change the subject ... "Hey look! An albino fox!"

baltimoreguy wrote:It doesn't matter what kind of school it is. Just say: "Private School X was the best fit for my child's needs."

How hard is that?

because it begs the question: why isn't the local public good enough for you like it is for the rest of us?

It doesn't matter what kind of school it is. Just say: "Private School X was the best fit for my child's needs."

How hard is that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"We thought it would be a great fit for our DC."

I understand where you are coming from because I have gotten negative comments from people as well. A woman at the park actually said, "do you honestly think the money is worth it?" (And not in a nice way). I mean, clearly I think it's worth it, so the subtext is that I some insufferable snob for sending my kid to private school. There's no point to engaging because a defensive person will take anything you say as a referendum on her choice. Just smile, deflect, move on.

While you probably are not a snob, my first thought about people who send their kids to private schools is that they are elitist snobs. Right or wrong it is the first thought I have.

What if it is a Catholic school?

Our local public has up to 10 Kindergarten classes - each with a class size up to 26. 1 teacher, and one pair (dedicated to kid/s with special needs). The private has no more than 17 kids with 3 teachers per class.

Anonymous wrote:This is an incredibly charged discussion, which in my opinion, causes parents to examine their priorities and justify the decisions they have made for their children. We chose private. We toured our "good" public school and found it lacking. So we are choosing to direct a significant portion of our resources to a private school that we love, and are unapologetic. But to avoid the discussion, when asked, we just say our kid's preschool strongly recommended small class sizes for our child.

How small are we talking? This may not avoid the discussion as much as you'd like, given that many local publics have class sizes of 16-18 in the early years.

Anonymous wrote:I admit I have not read through all the posts. BUT...why in the hell would I ever need to justify our family choice to my neighbors?! Sorry, that is my business.

FWIW, I have one in public and one in private, so I do have a dog in this fight. It's still nobodies business.

But the question is what do you say. Do you say "it's none of your business?" The more I think about it the more it seems this is a very tough question to answer without insulting the parent who asked it, if they are a neighbor whose kids attend the public school. The fairest thing may be to say "we just really like it," because that's subjective. You get in trouble where you start saying "we like it for the smaller class sizes" (how do you know your local public's class sizes are big? those in our area aren't that big) or "we like that it is warm and welcoming (how do you know the other school isn't, etc.?).

This is an incredibly charged discussion, which in my opinion, causes parents to examine their priorities and justify the decisions they have made for their children. We chose private. We toured our "good" public school and found it lacking. So we are choosing to direct a significant portion of our resources to a private school that we love, and are unapologetic. But to avoid the discussion, when asked, we just say our kid's preschool strongly recommended small class sizes for our child.

I admit I have not read through all the posts. BUT...why in the hell would I ever need to justify our family choice to my neighbors?! Sorry, that is my business.

FWIW, I have one in public and one in private, so I do have a dog in this fight. It's still nobodies business.

Anonymous wrote:Private schools and private school attitudes make me cringe. I don't ask my neighbors who send their kids to private schools why they don't take advantage of the excellent public schools. It's easy to ignore them because they typically make no effort to be part of the neighborhood. You only see them leaving in the morning and coming back late at night.

Can you please show us how "earnest" public school parents are by making this claim in a less-snippy way ... maybe by using some graphs and such?

Anonymous wrote:The less said the better. Public and private ate different worlds

And this is one of the reasons we left private....

Private schools and private school attitudes make me cringe. I don't ask my neighbors who send their kids to private schools why they don't take advantage of the excellent public schools. It's easy to ignore them because they typically make no effort to be part of the neighborhood. You only see them leaving in the morning and coming back late at night.

The less said the better. Public and private ate different worlds