people who work hard -- however they define that -- for their money are less likely to feel "rich". we have great HHI but i feel a lot less rich than the family i know who has one kid in FT daycare, one with a sitter so the wife can go to a job three times a week that doesn't even cover the costs of childcare. that seems indulgent and extravangent to me, so if feels like they are richer, though they probably have lower HHI than we do.
the bottom line for me is that we all make choices, whether you think you (or the people who are sticking up for) do or not. yes, i chose to go into a lucrative career and i choose to stay in a job that i hate most days because the money is better than what I would get anywhere else. others choose to have a parent at home and live on one income, or choose less lucrative jobs/careers or don't work as hard to make more money or whatever. while it isn't fair that important jobs pay less (teachers, fire fighters, etc), and i would and do support them making more, you knew that when you went into it. choices -- we all have to live with them.
Wow, that is so judgmental! How do you know what their situation is, financial or otherwise? I have done a very similar thing to what you describe in the past - I work 3 days a week, and we have had long periods (for years!) where my salary was not covering the cost of childcare + an expensive preschool. I guess I was being extravagant by not going back to work full-time?? We decided, as a family, that we wanted to send our kids to this preschool, so we would have been paying for that either way, so it didn't matter that my salary couldn't cover it. And we also decided that while, at times, I was not quite covering or just breaking even on the cost of our childcare (aside from preschool tuition), it was still worth it for me to keep working so I could continue to maximize my 401(k) contributions, maintain my other benefits (I do not have our primary health insurance but I do have some other insurance that our whole family is on), and more importantly, to hold onto my job because eventually we would be done with childcare and then I'd finally be keeping more of my take-home pay. I chose not to go back full-time because we decided that we would take a little bit of a financial hit in order for me to be home more with the kids; that works better for the whole family. We didn't do it because we think we're so rich that I can just work "for fun" even though it's costing us (believe me, I would stop working in a heartbeat if it made sense to do that; I don't find it "fun" in the least). We did it because over the long term there is a financial benefit to our family, even though there are years in which my working has been a slight net loss (not accounting for my retirement contributions and insurance).