Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve paid for college, grad school and house down payments for my kids. And funded 529 plans for grandkids. However, there’s a line between being generous and overdoing it and taking away ambition. I don’t ever discuss my income or NW with my kids. Someday it’ll be a necessary conversation but until then I want everyone fully motivated.

IMO you have raised your kids incorrectly if by age 20 you are not fully discussing NW with them. If them knowing you are worth something makes the kid unmotivated there is a lot more at play

How many millions are you worth? 20 is pretty young to just reveal it all, especially if you're not a very spend heavy family.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve paid for college, grad school and house down payments for my kids. And funded 529 plans for grandkids. However, there’s a line between being generous and overdoing it and taking away ambition. I don’t ever discuss my income or NW with my kids. Someday it’ll be a necessary conversation but until then I want everyone fully motivated.

IMO you have raised your kids incorrectly if by age 20 you are not fully discussing NW with them. If them knowing you are worth something makes the kid unmotivated there is a lot more at play

I’ve paid for college, grad school and house down payments for my kids. And funded 529 plans for grandkids. However, there’s a line between being generous and overdoing it and taking away ambition. I don’t ever discuss my income or NW with my kids. Someday it’ll be a necessary conversation but until then I want everyone fully motivated.

Anonymous wrote:With so much parental and grandparent support with everything I wonder how self motivated your children are.

I also wonder on their feelings of self- efficacy. It’s so important for young people to develop these things.

Based on my life experience and what I observed among UHNW and poor and middle class, there is no guarantee of outcomes when it comes to motivation. Low motivation kids grow up in all sorts of settings from poverty to mega wealth. Same is true for highly motivated and ambitious kids.

The only thing your wealth ensures is that your kid who is unmotivated has a lot less probability ending in tragic circumstances, on skid row or worse.

Anonymous wrote:Because working sucks for the vast majority of people so why would anyone want to force their family into working if they don't have to?


Is this a serious question? Is there really anyone out there so stupid they can't figure out this incredibly obvious answer?

This. It's really this simple. If you can free your kids from wage slavery just to survive then you can open doors to more opportunities for them, and you can have healthier and happier family spending time together vs. grinding and being stressed trying to make the ends meet. Some kids are even motivated to work to feel independent and to feel like they accomplish something themselves, which is a very different attitude than a poor kid who has to work and hates every day of it.

There is a fear that a child who knows they don't have to grind will always take a road of less friction and would avoid doing anything. It's a real thing, and I observed it with some of the kids of the wealthy people. But I also observed this in middle class families who don't have any wealth to leave to their kids. It's really a toss up. Obviously, your kid will be better off if you have the wealth to support them should they fail and hope they get on their feet or get more serious. If you are a broke family, then your deadbeat kid may have a high chance ending on skid row or stealing from you. It's simply better overall if your deadbeat kid can go to a rehab or get a hook up to work some cushy part time job in a non profit

With so much parental and grandparent support with everything I wonder how self motivated your children are.

I also wonder on their feelings of self- efficacy. It’s so important for young people to develop these things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying to understand the obsession behind generational wealth. If your retirement is on target, your kids college education funded and you own a home then why are you obsessively stressing over the generation beyond your kids?

I'm not obsessed, but there is only SO MUCH money I can spend. As we have gotten older our expenses are less and less. I do not get joy from buying things. At 48 I have the furntiure I need, I only gain and lose the same 10lbs so my clothes fit, we only travel with 3 often just 2 of us, and we are sitting at a very low interest rate and payment for a house that is now probably too big for us. I'm not going to just spend money becuase we have it. We just have a bunch of money left over each month and continue to dump into the market and occasionally buy a rental property when the right deal pops up.

I'm not looking to leave my kids money, I'm looking to give it to them when they need it most when they are starting their own adult lives.

You are a minority. Most people love to spend to get more luxuries and the sky is the limit. We would not have immense greed we have now with people accumulating insane wealth and still not wanting to pay more taxes if people were like you. I could find lots of ways to spend, there is always a problem to tackle, a service to outsource, improvement to be made beyond furniture A nicer car, a nicer vacation in a nicer resort, 1st class travel, spa visits, nicer gym membership, home improvements (unless it's already perfect, but somehow people buying multimillion dollar homes always get work done), 2nd/3rd home that are always money pits, etc. There is a level of wealth where all this is no longer aspirational and is a given. But I highly doubt you are at this level of wealth.

we own a lot of properties and when we travel we travel well. I have no tolerance anymore for construction in my home (Its too disruptive) and I live in a home i love. I just don’t think you are much exposed to people who aren’t class obsessed and who are comfortable and secure in themselves. I promise you not everyone with money is how you imagine. I no longer want to be surrounded by clutter and things. compulsive spending just doesn’t feel good.

You are making a lot of assumptions here. I listed a lot of ways where your life can be made more *comfortable* and luxurious, that is not necessarily because you have to show off or prove anything to anyone. It's objectively a nicer experience to spend on some of the things that usually people consider excessive, not in budget, or "aspirational". If you have the money to spend, and it's not even noticeable because of your level of wealth then your life is just more enjoyable, you don't need anyone's approval or acknowledgement of your "status".

A cheap state college is 30K these days!

The “anything over a hug from grandpa is overkill” is ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not obsessing over it, but it would give me joy to see my grandchildren have their college tuition paid for like I had mine paid for--by my grandparents.

My dad wants to pay our kids tuition. Nope we are good. He will go to the local cheap state college which we can afford and he will take some student loans.

Pretty awful of you to start your kids out behind on life when it’s completely unnecessary.

Stop it! This is my kid also. He is ahead of most kids even though there is no grandpa paying for school. Anything from grandpa but a hug, would be a overkill. Kid doesn't even need to take out loans, apply for grants or scholarship.
How do some of you not see how easy and cheap life is for some kids. My kid loans out the money he earns to his friends who want to go to college or just have fun.

Ummm...you stated "he will go to the local cheap state college .......and takes some student loans"

why would you burden your kid with loans if it's not needed?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not obsessing over it, but it would give me joy to see my grandchildren have their college tuition paid for like I had mine paid for--by my grandparents.

My dad wants to pay our kids tuition. Nope we are good. He will go to the local cheap state college which we can afford and he will take some student loans.

Pretty awful of you to start your kids out behind on life when it’s completely unnecessary.

Stop it! This is my kid also. He is ahead of most kids even though there is no grandpa paying for school. Anything from grandpa but a hug, would be a overkill. Kid doesn't even need to take out loans, apply for grants or scholarship.
How do some of you not see how easy and cheap life is for some kids. My kid loans out the money he earns to his friends who want to go to college or just have fun.

For me, it’s a sense of obligation to give my kids the same opportunities and advantages I had in life.

That said, my grandparents paid for private school and college tuition for their grandchildren and my parents haven’t offered that. Theyd be willing to help if needed, but it wasn’t offered like it was to my parents from my very wealthy grandparents. So I try to keep that in perspective too.

Anonymous wrote:A few thoughts that are all intertwined with each other:

As the UMC grows it becomes feasible for more people to leave sustainable assets to their children.

The world is more competitive and individualistic compared to previous decades.

The wealth gap is growing and with that comes class anxiety. Leaving wealth for kids can ease that.

This, plus AI and diminishing returns to expensive college educations.

I will also throw in a buffer for unforeseen health issues, divorce, tragedies, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not obsessing over it, but it would give me joy to see my grandchildren have their college tuition paid for like I had mine paid for--by my grandparents.

My dad wants to pay our kids tuition. Nope we are good. He will go to the local cheap state college which we can afford and he will take some student loans.

Pretty awful of you to start your kids out behind on life when it’s completely unnecessary.

+1

If the grandpa (dad) can afford to help/pay college tuition, you let them. why would anyone want to burden their kid with debt? and why would anyone not want their kid to select their college based on "what is best fit/best college" if it is affordable?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not obsessing over it, but it would give me joy to see my grandchildren have their college tuition paid for like I had mine paid for--by my grandparents.

My dad wants to pay our kids tuition. Nope we are good. He will go to the local cheap state college which we can afford and he will take some student loans.

Pretty awful of you to start your kids out behind on life when it’s completely unnecessary.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because working sucks for the vast majority of people so why would anyone want to force their family into working if they don't have to?


Is this a serious question? Is there really anyone out there so stupid they can't figure out this incredibly obvious answer?

Ummm nope. Our kids will have their lives supplemented by our wealth. But they will not have access if they don't "do something meaningful". They can work for a non profit, be a ssahp (once kids are around) but they cannot just sit at home and do nothing. Well they cannot but their trust fund won't support that. Well raised them to have goals and careers. They only use our contributions to supplement life---they currently still live within their own means (they can afford everything about their lifestyle except the vacations they take with us ) but our help means they save more for retirement, and get a newer car before they really need to (I'd replaced a 12 yo car with a new one we got them--but had we not funded it they were happy to drive it for another 3-5 years)

Oh please. Nauseating.

Jealous much?

+1

The PP sounds jealous.