Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So why don't you let us know where you're from, the non-American post writer??? In reality this is not how it works, at all. In cultures where grandparents helped with childrearing, they were provided shelter and food. It was mostly out of necessity. Nowadays, when people have the means, they want to live their own lives. Childrearing is hard work. Nobody wants to provide free labor (childrearing is a form of division of labor). Grandparents usually raise grandchildren when their kid had a child as a minor or when parents are incarcerated. Nowhere do the grandparents work, run their own household, and then on top of it finance and offer free labor to their offspring. This is why countries have maternity/paternity leaves. You literally get time off work to take care of your baby. Obviously, with women now having other opportunities than marriage, the number of children will drop, exactly because it's hard work. Nobody wants to take on childrearing in their retirement, nobody. And didn't OP's parents still work? You must think other people don't actually enjoy anything else in their life than working. OP's parents know their boundaries: they visited the baby and then went on vacation. This is normal. If you want somebody else to raise your kid, move them in they're willing (make an agreement) or pay for outside help. That said, women who are reluctant to take care of their own babies make crappy mothers and grandmothers. This talk how they will raise their grandchildren is just that... talk. They don't know how nor want to, because someone else has to always "help" them instead.

Many a grandparent behaves differently than what you wrote. You are writing from one perspective only. The parents came over and weren't interested in even holding a baby while someone took a phone call and spent most of the time talking over the family about their other interests and ignoring the family's life. They aren't interested in the family other than photo ops and it shows. I understand why you relate to them. You are cut from the same cloth. We get it.

Thank you. Someone finally understands my frustration.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So why don't you let us know where you're from, the non-American post writer??? In reality this is not how it works, at all. In cultures where grandparents helped with childrearing, they were provided shelter and food. It was mostly out of necessity. Nowadays, when people have the means, they want to live their own lives. Childrearing is hard work. Nobody wants to provide free labor (childrearing is a form of division of labor). Grandparents usually raise grandchildren when their kid had a child as a minor or when parents are incarcerated. Nowhere do the grandparents work, run their own household, and then on top of it finance and offer free labor to their offspring. This is why countries have maternity/paternity leaves. You literally get time off work to take care of your baby. Obviously, with women now having other opportunities than marriage, the number of children will drop, exactly because it's hard work. Nobody wants to take on childrearing in their retirement, nobody. And didn't OP's parents still work? You must think other people don't actually enjoy anything else in their life than working. OP's parents know their boundaries: they visited the baby and then went on vacation. This is normal. If you want somebody else to raise your kid, move them in they're willing (make an agreement) or pay for outside help. That said, women who are reluctant to take care of their own babies make crappy mothers and grandmothers. This talk how they will raise their grandchildren is just that... talk. They don't know how nor want to, because someone else has to always "help" them instead.

Many a grandparent behaves differently than what you wrote. You are writing from one perspective only. The parents came over and weren't interested in even holding a baby while someone took a phone call and spent most of the time talking over the family about their other interests and ignoring the family's life. They aren't interested in the family other than photo ops and it shows. I understand why you relate to them. You are cut from the same cloth. We get it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well op you can let this be motivation for you. Make sure you are able to provide financially for your future grandkids and take a month off for each of their births

I was already going to do that. I will quit my job when grandkids are born if I haven’t retired already.

If you are younger than 65 what will you do for healthcare? It's nice that you think you will be working as a hobby at that age. You won't.