Anonymous
Post 04/10/2024 21:13     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Usually when a person is looking to cheat, the AP is just an opportunity that presents itself. If one opportunity doesn’t work out, the cheater will keep looking till one works out.

If your employer lets you go, do you track down your replacement and tell their prior boss that that person was out hunting for a new position?

It’s called crossing inappropriate boundaries.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2024 21:07     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If there are kids involved, you don't do anything. Plain and simple. Good people don't blow up another kid's life. It makes you pretty much as bad.


The AP was integral to blowing up my life…and she knowingly did it for years. Hers doesn’t get a free pass. No way in hell.

You are an adult. And you should also see that your spouse is the one who blew up your life. Grow up. You will only feel worse if you attempt to extract some pathetic revenge.


I felt fantastic !!
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2024 21:06     Subject: Re:Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
OP- send me his info. I’ll send him an email for ya.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2024 21:05     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If there are kids involved, you don't do anything. Plain and simple. Good people don't blow up another kid's life. It makes you pretty much as bad.


The AP was integral to blowing up my life…and she knowingly did it for years. Hers doesn’t get a free pass. No way in hell.

You are an adult. And you should also see that your spouse is the one who blew up your life. Grow up. You will only feel worse if you attempt to extract some pathetic revenge.


AGREE. YOUR spouse cheated on YOU.
He was out looking.
Address the correct person.


Np I guess I’m looking at it from the perspective of tge spouse who doesn’t know. I would want to know! Yes each person should deal with their own cheating spouse but I would want the to opportunity to deal with mine


Lol. Desperate cheating whores trying to shame people into not blowing their cover. Trying to say they aren’t bad for getting strange D and lying to their spouses.

Equating sending a single truthful, factual email to years of blowing and banging other people’s spouses behind their own spouse’s back.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2024 20:52     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If there are kids involved, you don't do anything. Plain and simple. Good people don't blow up another kid's life. It makes you pretty much as bad.


The AP was integral to blowing up my life…and she knowingly did it for years. Hers doesn’t get a free pass. No way in hell.

You are an adult. And you should also see that your spouse is the one who blew up your life. Grow up. You will only feel worse if you attempt to extract some pathetic revenge.


AGREE. YOUR spouse cheated on YOU.
He was out looking.
Address the correct person.


Np I guess I’m looking at it from the perspective of tge spouse who doesn’t know. I would want to know! Yes each person should deal with their own cheating spouse but I would want the to opportunity to deal with mine
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2024 20:49     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If there are kids involved, you don't do anything. Plain and simple. Good people don't blow up another kid's life. It makes you pretty much as bad.


The AP was integral to blowing up my life…and she knowingly did it for years. Hers doesn’t get a free pass. No way in hell.

You are an adult. And you should also see that your spouse is the one who blew up your life. Grow up. You will only feel worse if you attempt to extract some pathetic revenge.


AGREE. YOUR spouse cheated on YOU.
He was out looking.
Address the correct person.


It’s not revenge. It’s the right thing to do. Why is OP under an obligation to keep the affair a secret? This blows my mind that you think that OP should be complicit in a cover up. That she should withhold information from the husband that could materially affect his life. It’s a small majority of people out there that say - “I wouldn’t want to know about my spouse’s affair.” Everyone would like to know about their spouse’s infidelity. Makes me wonder if you are a cheater spouting this nonsense. I guess that is what selfish people do - they think everyone needs to be complicit with their bad behavior.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2024 19:55     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If there are kids involved, you don't do anything. Plain and simple. Good people don't blow up another kid's life. It makes you pretty much as bad.


The AP was integral to blowing up my life…and she knowingly did it for years. Hers doesn’t get a free pass. No way in hell.

You are an adult. And you should also see that your spouse is the one who blew up your life. Grow up. You will only feel worse if you attempt to extract some pathetic revenge.


AGREE. YOUR spouse cheated on YOU.
He was out looking.
Address the correct person.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2024 19:29     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If there are kids involved, you don't do anything. Plain and simple. Good people don't blow up another kid's life. It makes you pretty much as bad.


The AP was integral to blowing up my life…and she knowingly did it for years. Hers doesn’t get a free pass. No way in hell.

You are an adult. And you should also see that your spouse is the one who blew up your life. Grow up. You will only feel worse if you attempt to extract some pathetic revenge.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2024 19:28     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:The AP did not cheat on you. Your husband and did. You would be doing this out of hurt, spite, and vengeance. If you're OK with that then go for it. Personally I don't need anymore hurt, spite, or vengeance in my life so I wouldn't put it out there for AP. I'd forcus on your husband - he's the one that broke your vows.

+10000000
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2024 19:28     Subject: Re:Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Absolutely. I would not think twice about this.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2024 18:32     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:The AP did not cheat on you. Your husband and did. You would be doing this out of hurt, spite, and vengeance. If you're OK with that then go for it. Personally I don't need anymore hurt, spite, or vengeance in my life so I wouldn't put it out there for AP. I'd forcus on your husband - he's the one that broke your vows.


Give me a break. Tell the spouse. It’s the right thing to do. They shouldn’t bang other people’s spouses if they don’t want anyone to find out.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2024 17:07     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
The AP did not cheat on you. Your husband and did. You would be doing this out of hurt, spite, and vengeance. If you're OK with that then go for it. Personally I don't need anymore hurt, spite, or vengeance in my life so I wouldn't put it out there for AP. I'd forcus on your husband - he's the one that broke your vows.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2024 16:59     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If there are kids involved, you don't do anything. Plain and simple. Good people don't blow up another kid's life. It makes you pretty much as bad.

Which are the "good people" here? and Who is blowing up their life? The innocent wronged spouse is in any way responsible for what happens when a married person chooses to cheat. Don't want to blow up your life? Don't cheat. Seems pretty easy!


The innocent spouse is innocent until they take an action of their own. Then they own a piece of the outcome.

To be clear there are lots of outcomes OP might prefer to avoid, not just damage to actually innocent children.

Telling someone their spouse is cheating does not have any impact on children. What the spouse chooses to do with that information is their choice.

Take some responsibility for your own actions and stop blaming two innocent spouses sharing their hurt with each other.


There’s no “my own” anything. It’s my views is the options available to OP, which I hope not to face. You will need to learn to accept that there are people on the internet who can disagree with you.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2024 16:46     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In my case, AP was very active in church ministry. So I emailed her pastor. This made me very happy.

Hypocrite

Thats rich! Church people always preaching but never following their own message. What was the outcome?


This is why you should worship JESUS and not the sinners who accept the gift of salvation and forgiveness offered by Jesus taking on OUR punishment for OUR sins.
We are all broken people.
Even the church-goers.

Sermon not needed. Go away.


But maybe it was needed considering some people oddly seem to hold a higher standard for those who are “church people” than for those who aren’t.
I can assure you God makes it very clear in scripture that there is no such distinction and we are all sinners who are deserving of punishment. That is called Justice. And we worship a just God who is also so loving that He sent His only son to take the punishment for all of us so that we can be forgiven…..pardoned….undeservingly.

Maybe YOU already knew that, OP. And in that case, of course you didn’t “need” to read that message—so you are welcome to keep scrolling.


Repeated sinning isn’t forgiven. You’re supposed to learn after confessing to the almighty and stop the behavior. Bad people hurt others when they keep at it. Cheaters fall back on that life is messy crap all the time when they are creating the mess and breaking the people.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2024 15:37     Subject: Would you tell DH’s AP’s husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If there are kids involved, you don't do anything. Plain and simple. Good people don't blow up another kid's life. It makes you pretty much as bad.

Which are the "good people" here? and Who is blowing up their life? The innocent wronged spouse is in any way responsible for what happens when a married person chooses to cheat. Don't want to blow up your life? Don't cheat. Seems pretty easy!

There is no such thing as a "good person" or a "bad person", much to the chagrin of jilted people. I'm sorry. Life is messy and awful. But don't hurt kids unnecessarily.

How is honesty hurting kids unnecessarily? Telling the spouse has nothing to do with children. It has to do with another adult. What they do with that knowledge is their own business.


+1. If I was being cheated on I would want to know. I may or may not seek out a divorce but I would make choices in my best interest and in the best interest of my kids. It would be my choice on how to navigate the situation. I wouldn’t want this decision made for me by someone who feels they know what’s best for my children.