Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10:41 I think there's something wrong with everyone's expectations. How could the schools, parents and students not know how competitive things had become? These are supposed to be top schools and their expectations were not based on analysis or critical thinking!

Not 10:41. DD was at a Big 3 and her counselor was pretty useless. If we hadn't researched schools constantly and frequented the website College Confidential wouldn't have had a clue how competitive things had become.

Which school?

From 11:33 to 11:39: My comments were not naive. And not that I need to plead my case to you, but I went through the college process in 2004 and again in 2009, in addition to interviewing for my college in the DC area. I agree blind trust is not the way to go. So sure, go do your own research. I think this it is a good idea to have something to bring to the table when you start having those college meetings. But I also think your do your family a disservice by going into the college process with a know-it-all attitude, and thinking that because you sat down with a Fiske guide, you know more than the folks hired to do their job. And again, I think it's great that the parents 11:24 mentioned used this strategy successfully. I was more at odds with the idea of not trusting the faculty in general. I think there is something seriously wrong when you don't trust the people working at the institution you're paying tuition for.

When your kids college future is on the line -- you should do as much research as possible. The college counsellors at the privates are generally not part of the faculty...they don't do any teaching. People should know the score before it's too late pp. I take it from your seemingly naive comments you haven't been through the college admissions process lately.

11:24, you warned parents not to trust the college counselors at your school? I think it's great this approach worked for a few people, but telling parents not to trust faculty members when they should be working with them to me sends the wrong message; it sounds like the beginning of a pretty slippery slope.

I am 10:41 and I agree 11:20. We did our own thing too and it worked out great for our daughter. I actually tried to warn all of my parent friends around freshman year that they should devise their own strategy and not trust the college counselors. Some listened and were happy. Others did not. One parent came back to thank me 4 years later to say thanks for the heads up...their kid did great too.

Anonymous wrote:10:41 I think there's something wrong with everyone's expectations. How could the schools, parents and students not know how competitive things had become? These are supposed to be top schools and their expectations were not based on analysis or critical thinking!

Not 10:41. DD was at a Big 3 and her counselor was pretty useless. If we hadn't researched schools constantly and frequented the website College Confidential wouldn't have had a clue how competitive things had become.

10:41 I think there's something wrong with everyone's expectations. How could the schools, parents and students not know how competitive things had become? These are supposed to be top schools and their expectations were not based on analysis or critical thinking!

To go back to OP's original question -- yes, many, many private school parents are disappointed with college placement. Many top kids are left to attend second-tier schools. Even a few years ago -- they would have been admitted to top 20 schools.

I don't know if things have changed since my husband and I were grad students at Harvard, but the undergrads took a lot of big lecture classes, and their only small class experience for some subjects was the "section," taught by a grad student who often had no inclination for teaching and sometimes didn't even speak English very well. I, for one, will encourage my kids to go to a smaller college for undergrad, where more of the teachers care about teaching, and the students actually get to know them.

I guess this is like banking on your kid having a basketball or football career, or becoming a Hollywood star. It may happen for .01% of the population, but it's unlikely to happen for your (or my) kid.

Ted Turner (like Bill Gates) had a very wealthy father.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704211704575139891390595962.html?mod=WSJ_hps_sections_lifestyle

Check out this article (if I linked it correctly) about famous people who were rejected from Harvard and other Ivies, how they felt, and how they went on to become highly successful in various fields.

Thanks so much for posting this. I've been telling my rising junior exactly the same thing, but it's nice to have some objective validation.

So Ted Turner, who says, "I did everything I did without a college degree," is to be held up as an example for my children? I don't think so. Ted Turner succeeded against very high odds, and he is a rare exception. Maybe 99% people who don't get a college degree do less well than Ted Turner!

Anonymous wrote:http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704211704575139891390595962.html?mod=WSJ_hps_sections_lifestyle

Check out this article (if I linked it correctly) about famous people who were rejected from Harvard and other Ivies, how they felt, and how they went on to become highly successful in various fields.

Thanks so much for posting this. I've been telling my rising junior exactly the same thing, but it's nice to have some objective validation.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704211704575139891390595962.html?mod=WSJ_hps_sections_lifestyle

Check out this article (if I linked it correctly) about famous people who were rejected from Harvard and other Ivies, how they felt, and how they went on to become highly successful in various fields.

I don't need to know the circumstances. Who's a shoo-in to Harvard? A family who has not yet fully recovered from the disappointment of not getting into Harvard or any other first choice school after four years is extreme and unfortunate in my humble opinion. Thank goodness most people are hardier than that. I feel sorry for them. There's compassion in that statement.