Anonymous
10/23/2023 17:19
Subject: Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship
I think men underestimate how difficult it is to date women. You not only have to be present emotionally 100% of the time (else you will be dumped or cheated on) but you will also continuously be asked to improve so this do that….
Anonymous
10/23/2023 17:16
Subject: Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.
Untrue. There are many very pretty single women.
They must still be in their 20s.
A "very pretty" woman would be fending off suitors. There are always exceptions, but in 95% of the cases, a really pretty woman would be scooped up real quick.
There are plenty of gorgeous African American women that are single.
Those are racist African American women who will only date black men.
Black male population statistics aren’t in favor of these women finding suitable mates within their community and they need to come to terms with that or settle or date outside their race.
African American woman are in a tough position to be honest. While it is true that more and more women are graduating colleges compared to men, for African American woman it is worse. And let’s be honest women are very picky (for good reasons). You will not come accross many women who are college grads and will settle for a non college grad. So African American woman don’t have a big pool of fellow African American men college grads. So some choose to remain single.
Anonymous
10/23/2023 07:19
Subject: Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship
Anonymous wrote:PP? I don't even know what that means
Prior poster in the thread
Anonymous
10/23/2023 07:18
Subject: Re:Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine from college is like this. I think it’s a combo of factors. She thinks she is much more attractive than she is for starters (or at least she did when younger- we are early 40s now and I haven’t seen her since we were about 30). She hangs out with wealthy NYC types and lives outside of NYC, working as a social worker. Which is rewarding for her and she likes her work. But clearly, she is low paid. She always played the innocent, “I’m so scared of guys!” trope when we were in our early 20s but she wasn’t actually scared of guys? She just wanted to portray herself as an “innocent”. But to put it plainly, she wasn’t attractive or interesting enough to pull it off, and she was drawn to guys who were out of her league.
Anyways she is 42 now and I do not believe she has ever had a boyfriend outside of maybe two 3-week relationships in college.
You are not a “friend” to this woman. Not even close.
Seriously. Damn. With friends like first PP, who needs enemies.
Envy will do that.
My lord, for real. I also had a friend from college like this.
But here is now a normal actual friend would assess:
I think my friend just was put off by how simpering a lot of guys were. She really never was insecure like a lot of us were so wasn’t going to date someone for the sake of it. And that meant she actually got to know herself.
Post graduation she got really into hardcore hiking plus adopted senior dogs and basically spends her days happily catering to them and giving them their best last few years.
She’s a cool person. I’m quite impressed.
Anonymous
10/23/2023 07:00
Subject: Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:While not in this age group but I recently came in contact with a woman who says that she's 29 and she's never had a boyfriend and she's never had her first kiss yet either
I'm almost 47 and have never had a boyfriend and I've been kissed on the lips twice. Once was sexual harassment* and once was an unfortunate greeting by a senior citizen uncle. *When I reported the kiss to my boss the next day his response was "Why would he do that? I mean, why would he do that to YOU?" I was like wow I guess not only do men not like me but they can't even fathom ANYONE liking me.
Serious question, Why did he do that to you? Are you autistic? Do you pick up on social cues? Is that part of the problem here?
Also neither of those are kisses.
Anonymous
10/23/2023 06:32
Subject: Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship
Anonymous wrote:37 yo man here, never been in a relationship. In college I had a gf for 4 months but I wouldn't call it a relationship, just casual dating. Couple of one night stands since college.
I want a relationship but I can never attract the type of women that I really want.
Which is what type exactly?
Anonymous
10/23/2023 06:05
Subject: Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.
Untrue. There are many very pretty single women.
They must still be in their 20s.
A "very pretty" woman would be fending off suitors. There are always exceptions, but in 95% of the cases, a really pretty woman would be scooped up real quick.
There are plenty of gorgeous African American women that are single.
Those are racist African American women who will only date black men.
Black male population statistics aren’t in favor of these women finding suitable mates within their community and they need to come to terms with that or settle or date outside their race.
Anonymous
10/23/2023 05:57
Subject: Re:Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship
Anonymous wrote:I am 35 and have never been in a LTR.
I have severe anxiety over sex and I go to therapy. Psychotherapy and sex therapy now that I can use my insurance for it. I’m not asexual, I do have strong sexual desires for certain men who have been in my life but I have severe and I mean SEVERE anxiety over physical intimacy, sexual intercourse and pain, and anything sex-related with a new partner and it has gotten worse, not better, as I age.
Find a partner with small junk. Plenty of those should be available.
Anonymous
10/23/2023 05:51
Subject: Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:They are very pretty, educated, professionally successful, and have interesting hobbies.
But they have few social skills. They don't know how to date. They don't know how to communicate well. They don't know how to be with someone in a non-work capacity. They have no idea about how to sustain a long-term, loving relationship with one other person. No man her age wants to teach her how, either. Instead, a man will look at her and think there must be a bad reason why she's never had a long-term relationship. Next.
That's the cold, hard truth.
yep, that was me. I didn't know what to talk to guys about other than work stuff, news and current events. I took myself way too seriously.
So what are we supposed to talk about? /middle aged women lacking social skills.
PP here, well, now that I'm in my early 50s, I have my kids, my house, summer plans, some traveling I've done, to talk about. When I was 30, I didn't have any kids, hadn't traveled much, and was apartment hopping.
Did you watch movies? Television shows? Listen to music? Read books?
Yea, movies and tv are somewhat safe topics, and I did talk about those, but it was also about feeling comfortable with the other person to talk about things like that because what you watch is kind of personal, IMO, but I guess it would show how compatible you might be.
Like when I was 30, if a guy talked about watching jack@ass, I'd be completely turned off. I'd feel the same about women who watched The Real Housewives, too.
that's some weird stereotyping!
people usually talk about themselves - their lives, where they've lived, what's been important to them. things they find funny. i guess tv and movies, too - or, when i was younger, music. you know - people just TALK. they don't just go dur dur dur me man me like other men getting hit in nuts.
yea, like I said, I'm a little bit socially awkward, but if a 30 yr old started talking about those kinds of shows, I'd be turned off.
and to add.. when I was in my 20s, I didn't like talking about personal stuff. Like I said, I was closed off. That's why I was socially awkward, too.
Men love socially awkward women. They want women to shut up half the time. Find yourself a man who talks a lot.
Anonymous
10/23/2023 05:45
Subject: Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:They are very pretty, educated, professionally successful, and have interesting hobbies.
But they have few social skills. They don't know how to date. They don't know how to communicate well. They don't know how to be with someone in a non-work capacity. They have no idea about how to sustain a long-term, loving relationship with one other person. No man her age wants to teach her how, either. Instead, a man will look at her and think there must be a bad reason why she's never had a long-term relationship. Next.
That's the cold, hard truth.
yep, that was me. I didn't know what to talk to guys about other than work stuff, news and current events. I took myself way too seriously.
So what are we supposed to talk about? /middle aged women lacking social skills.
You spend all your time to yourself and don’t do anything? You need a family asap.
Aren’t you traveling and eating at the best places and trying sports and activities and pursuing hobbies with this time? How do you not have conversation?
Anonymous
10/23/2023 05:42
Subject: Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.
Untrue. There are many very pretty single women.
They must still be in their 20s.
A "very pretty" woman would be fending off suitors. There are always exceptions, but in 95% of the cases, a really pretty woman would be scooped up real quick.
In the dmv? Where you need a car to get anywhere? Where might these suitors be for a work from home person? At the chicfila? The costco where men keep their gaze to the ceiling and many are with kids? And no dog parks for me after a pit attacked my pup.
What!! The DMV is full of bars, lounges, cultural events, social activities, church groups, volunteer orgs for single women to attend. In fact a lot of events are sausage fests where you have more than your fair pick of professional men. Now that I live in flyover country I realize it really was a land of milk and honey for dating compared to here!
I'm not in a church group. So basically you're saying I have to go and find these men that I have to fend off with a stick. Find another single over 35 yr old friend to go with and if we are hot enough we will get an army of suitors to fend off. Sounds like work.
Well if you insist on staying in the house open your DMs on social media and post more photos (post food). Men are always in my DMs but I’m married
Anonymous
10/23/2023 05:37
Subject: Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.
Untrue. There are many very pretty single women.
They must still be in their 20s.
A "very pretty" woman would be fending off suitors. There are always exceptions, but in 95% of the cases, a really pretty woman would be scooped up real quick.
In the dmv? Where you need a car to get anywhere? Where might these suitors be for a work from home person? At the chicfila? The costco where men keep their gaze to the ceiling and many are with kids? And no dog parks for me after a pit attacked my pup.
Yes chicfila and Costco albeit Costco men are married there’s an offhand chance that a Costco man could be single. Get some hobbies that are unisex
Anonymous
10/23/2023 04:16
Subject: Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have a SIL who is 45 and never been in a relationship. I have no explanation and I have wondered what is going on in her head for years. She is Ivy League educated, great athlete, lots of friends, great family, well traveled, interesting career, and attractive. Are men intimidated by her? Are her standards too high? Or does she simply have no idea how to date? I am mystified by it.
Maybe she likes her independence and does not want to put with with a mediocre man's BS. This is not hard to figure out.
This could be me. I have no patience for men who don't want to be adults--it is deeply unsexy to me. Was only interested in kids if I could find a full partner. The worst are the ones in this age cohort who talk a good game about being "enlightened" but lean on their wives for everything. I can count the number of marriages that look enviable from this perspective (and yes I know you can never really know) on my fingers.
+1. I know many married women think of marriage as the be all/end all, and that theyve succeeded massively because they have a partner, and all the single women are just lonely and jealous. From the single woman's perspective it looks like hell in 90% of marriages, most of which seem to be comprised of emotionally closed off/selfish men and enabling women that spend all their energy babysitting them. Is it any coincidence that many of the most successful women (Oprah, Laura Wasser, Angelina Jolie) seem to choose to be alone?
Anonymous
10/23/2023 04:14
Subject: Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.
Untrue. There are many very pretty single women.
They must still be in their 20s.
A "very pretty" woman would be fending off suitors. There are always exceptions, but in 95% of the cases, a really pretty woman would be scooped up real quick.
Some of them give off a self-sufficiency vibe or an aloof vibe that makes men not approach them.
This. And men generally need to feel needed so when it seems a woman is good on her own... kinda the kiss of death for many men
Anonymous
10/22/2023 08:26
Subject: Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship
My godmother (now in her 90s) and her 2 sisters never married at a time when that was unheard of and none of them had kids. My godmother was a mystery writer and some of her published magazine pieces were picked up and turned into tv episodes in the early 1960s. She then went on to become an English professor. One of her sisters died young while the other worked on Wall Street. There is/was no obvious reason for this and they seem content to have not been married.