Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The thing is, the people with the bad Nannies don’t realize it (until they do and fire their nanny). This has happened with friends who are thorough, diligent, check references, etc.
Yes, people don't know when they have a bad nanny or a bad daycare. Otherwise, they would remedy the situations quickly. But moms are hard on themselves and don't hesitate to label themselves as bad moms/SAHMs.I mention moms specifically because practically all dads seem super confident in their parenting skills.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I mean hey if you think your infant spending 10 hours in a linoleum floored room with 10 other babies and underpaid, undereducated, rotating staff is better than you or your partner then maybe they are.
No one ever talks about the dads that have historically been left out and excluded from time and bonding with their kids because they had to be the sole means of support. No one is saying anyone should stay at home forever but in the early years you are building the foundation of your relationship with your child, bonding and building trust. One would think somebody related to the kid would want to be there to provide that if they were able.
Reminder, you can't have it all. No one does. All the meaningful things in life require sacrifice. The kids are not ok RN and everyone is pointing fingers everywhere but refusing to look in the mirror.
You sound really mean-spirited. I understand you feel strongly about what you believe, but your disdain for other people is so off-putting.
Anonymous wrote:I mean hey if you think your infant spending 10 hours in a linoleum floored room with 10 other babies and underpaid, undereducated, rotating staff is better than you or your partner then maybe they are.
No one ever talks about the dads that have historically been left out and excluded from time and bonding with their kids because they had to be the sole means of support. No one is saying anyone should stay at home forever but in the early years you are building the foundation of your relationship with your child, bonding and building trust. One would think somebody related to the kid would want to be there to provide that if they were able.
Reminder, you can't have it all. No one does. All the meaningful things in life require sacrifice. The kids are not ok RN and everyone is pointing fingers everywhere but refusing to look in the mirror.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anecdotally, DD was taken care of by a loving nanny since birth, then started preschool 2 mornings a week at age 2, and went to preschool 5 mornings a week at age 3. She's now almost 4 and painfully shy. I wonder if she would have been equally shy attending daycare.
Who knows but I have friends who kids attended daycare from a young age and are still shy. I think nature is probably stronger than nurture, but could be a mix of both.
Anonymous wrote:Anecdotally, DD was taken care of by a loving nanny since birth, then started preschool 2 mornings a week at age 2, and went to preschool 5 mornings a week at age 3. She's now almost 4 and painfully shy. I wonder if she would have been equally shy attending daycare.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I mean hey if you think your infant spending 10 hours in a linoleum floored room with 10 other babies and underpaid, undereducated, rotating staff is better than you or your partner then maybe they are.
No one ever talks about the dads that have historically been left out and excluded from time and bonding with their kids because they had to be the sole means of support. No one is saying anyone should stay at home forever but in the early years you are building the foundation of your relationship with your child, bonding and building trust. One would think somebody related to the kid would want to be there to provide that if they were able.
Reminder, you can't have it all. No one does. All the meaningful things in life require sacrifice. The kids are not ok RN and everyone is pointing fingers everywhere but refusing to look in the mirror.
You can bond and build trust without being the sole caretaker of your baby. I have a nanny and my baby loves her and that doesn't change anything about my own relationship with my baby. I'm sure you'll say, well that's better than daycare. I would agree with that but maybe if you find a good daycare where there isn't a lot of turnover and the teachers are caring and the classes are small, then the teachers can probably bond and build trust with them as well. I think your'e oversimplifying things when you're suggesting that a baby needs to spend all of his time with a blood relative.
Also the comment about the linoleum floored room is weird. As opposed to...hardwood floor? Carpet?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I mean hey if you think your infant spending 10 hours in a linoleum floored room with 10 other babies and underpaid, undereducated, rotating staff is better than you or your partner then maybe they are.
No one ever talks about the dads that have historically been left out and excluded from time and bonding with their kids because they had to be the sole means of support. No one is saying anyone should stay at home forever but in the early years you are building the foundation of your relationship with your child, bonding and building trust. One would think somebody related to the kid would want to be there to provide that if they were able.
Reminder, you can't have it all. No one does. All the meaningful things in life require sacrifice. The kids are not ok RN and everyone is pointing fingers everywhere but refusing to look in the mirror.
You can bond and build trust without being the sole caretaker of your baby. I have a nanny and my baby loves her and that doesn't change anything about my own relationship with my baby. I'm sure you'll say, well that's better than daycare. I would agree with that but maybe if you find a good daycare where there isn't a lot of turnover and the teachers are caring and the classes are small, then the teachers can probably bond and build trust with them as well. I think your'e oversimplifying things when you're suggesting that a baby needs to spend all of his time with a blood relative.
Anonymous wrote:I mean hey if you think your infant spending 10 hours in a linoleum floored room with 10 other babies and underpaid, undereducated, rotating staff is better than you or your partner then maybe they are.
No one ever talks about the dads that have historically been left out and excluded from time and bonding with their kids because they had to be the sole means of support. No one is saying anyone should stay at home forever but in the early years you are building the foundation of your relationship with your child, bonding and building trust. One would think somebody related to the kid would want to be there to provide that if they were able.
Reminder, you can't have it all. No one does. All the meaningful things in life require sacrifice. The kids are not ok RN and everyone is pointing fingers everywhere but refusing to look in the mirror.
Anonymous wrote:I mean hey if you think your infant spending 10 hours in a linoleum floored room with 10 other babies and underpaid, undereducated, rotating staff is better than you or your partner then maybe they are.
No one ever talks about the dads that have historically been left out and excluded from time and bonding with their kids because they had to be the sole means of support. No one is saying anyone should stay at home forever but in the early years you are building the foundation of your relationship with your child, bonding and building trust. One would think somebody related to the kid would want to be there to provide that if they were able.
Reminder, you can't have it all. No one does. All the meaningful things in life require sacrifice. The kids are not ok RN and everyone is pointing fingers everywhere but refusing to look in the mirror.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The thing is, the people with the bad Nannies don’t realize it (until they do and fire their nanny). This has happened with friends who are thorough, diligent, check references, etc.
Yes, people don't know when they have a bad nanny or a bad daycare. Otherwise, they would remedy the situations quickly. But moms are hard on themselves and don't hesitate to label themselves as bad moms/SAHMs.I mention moms specifically because practically all dads seem super confident in their parenting skills.
A bad licensed daycare will still be inspected more and subject to much more scrutiny than a bad nanny.
I think not needing to oversee or supervise a nanny is probably the main reason why "wealthy" people might use daycare. It's relatively higher risk and higher reward - you might get a bad nanny who puts your child in danger, but on the flip side you will hopefully get a good nanny who provides better care than a daycare.
Anonymous wrote:Quality of daycare/nanny/SAHP is everything. I chose to send my kids to daycare at 4 months even though we easily could have afforded a nanny (gasp!) because my work had an on-site center that that allowed me to maximize my time with them, and it made me nervous to put all my trust into one person alone with my baby all day. I do know several people who had bad experiences with Nannies ...