not getting the needed abortion.

Don't walk away from toxic marriages, relationships.

Have kids with men who are toxic.

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

It’s moreso that men suck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2 years, max! If he is not committing long term, move on. Twenties are the most valuable years, so don't waste them.

YES - I just posted the same!

+1- I had a boyfriend for 4.5 years.... loved him but knew we'd never marry. All of a sudden I was 28 and realized it was time to breakup.

Anonymous wrote:2 years, max! If he is not committing long term, move on. Twenties are the most valuable years, so don't waste them.

Yes +1000

Anonymous wrote:Get off birth control and cease binge drinking after age 21. Grow up.

The only person happier than me that I didn't get knocked up by my college boyfriend is my college boyfriend, but I'd imagine our respective spouses and children are also high on that list.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not compounding interest

I’m going to disagree. I wish I had taken out a few more student loans and not worried about saving so much with my first job. There was no reason to spend all of those years living on $1200/month.

+1

I get the sentiment, but I know more than a few women straight out of school putting more money into retirement than into living life, always scrimping and saving. Live life and have fun NOW! Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Yes!
I wish I had put some money into an apartment where I could actually invite friends over, a really nice racing bike, and repairing my car. It would have made me a lot happier, and the $$ I was saving for retirement is just a drop in the bucket now.

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

Well here is my first reaction, I'm sure I'm missing stuff, but yes women should have the opportunity to make a career and be able to be financially independent and secure before entering a relationship for life.

I mean do you want a bunch dependent women to marry or would you a prefer a woman who knows herself, what she needs in a partner and relationship to be happy long term.

Being financially dependent on any "Mr Right-enough" can turn into a disaster for women during a divorce. Much better if they know how to support themselves before mingling finances in a marriage.

Of course there is something in our culture that throws a wrench in the works: misogyny. We haven't even had a woman president yet.

There isn't gender equality so women have to be able to be independent before entering marriage, or risk getting stuck in abuse and have a hard time after the divorce as we often get more of the childcare burden. Now, any of these things could happen if you marry after you are independent, but you would at least be able to come out of the marriage knowing that you have supported yourself before rather than feeling like you are unable to do so.

Get off birth control and cease binge drinking after age 21. Grow up.

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

Many women have a list of 932 things that a man must have. For men, being nice and not fat is enough.

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

wow. where to start.

Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let’s say you believe that your mid-late 20s are the best time to meet a partner. You may disagree but let’s say for arguments sake. What are the most common mistakes women make that waste the “best” relationship-building years, and how would you advise Gen Z women to not repeat these mistakes? Or if this was you, what advice would you give your younger self?

I’ll start: I always wanted a relationship, but could not move on easily from rejection and breakup and wasted precious months moving over failed romances. I also wasted time trying to change the minds of men who just wanted casual sex. I had been exposed to too much online misogyny and believed that if I held out and proved that I was “not that kind of girl” and that I was the type you would marry, not just sleep with, instead of just ignoring the guys who had this mentality. The best advice to my 25 year old self would be to move on, and move on faster.

+1,000.

Also, I’d tell a younger version the point of waiting to have sex is not about some weird patriarchal control thing as so many spread the lie that it is, or playing games or anything. It’s to protect yourself from the immature, selfish guys who will feel not one pang of conscience after they waste your time and use your body and heart. The ones who say you’ll never find a man if you wait for that are the ones you’re *supposed to* weed out, and they’re trying to instill fear and scarcity into you (so you will sleep with them! Lol).

This.

Agree

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let’s say you believe that your mid-late 20s are the best time to meet a partner. You may disagree but let’s say for arguments sake. What are the most common mistakes women make that waste the “best” relationship-building years, and how would you advise Gen Z women to not repeat these mistakes? Or if this was you, what advice would you give your younger self?

I’ll start: I always wanted a relationship, but could not move on easily from rejection and breakup and wasted precious months moving over failed romances. I also wasted time trying to change the minds of men who just wanted casual sex. I had been exposed to too much online misogyny and believed that if I held out and proved that I was “not that kind of girl” and that I was the type you would marry, not just sleep with, instead of just ignoring the guys who had this mentality. The best advice to my 25 year old self would be to move on, and move on faster.

+1,000.

Also, I’d tell a younger version the point of waiting to have sex is not about some weird patriarchal control thing as so many spread the lie that it is, or playing games or anything. It’s to protect yourself from the immature, selfish guys who will feel not one pang of conscience after they waste your time and use your body and heart. The ones who say you’ll never find a man if you wait for that are the ones you’re *supposed to* weed out, and they’re trying to instill fear and scarcity into you (so you will sleep with them! Lol).

This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not compounding interest

I’m going to disagree. I wish I had taken out a few more student loans and not worried about saving so much with my first job. There was no reason to spend all of those years living on $1200/month.

+1

I get the sentiment, but I know more than a few women straight out of school putting more money into retirement than into living life, always scrimping and saving. Live life and have fun NOW! Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Yep as a woman you can have a lot of fun without spend money. Guys are not asking you to split the bill at the club, dinner or cost of a private jet. The guys want to show off their money.

Not true. We’re not their/your atm.

This^. If both earn, where is equality in one person paying bills. You aren't life partners with joint accounts. Split the bill.

That’s great. Move to Iceland. It is not how it works here.