Anonymous wrote:Why so bleak... do we really think women have to have a spouse to be happy? She's a doctor. She can organize her life as necessary to make it work, she will be financially ok, her kids will have a strong female role model, and she may or may not meet a man who can compare to prince charming here. Not that hard to find one comparable who will leave his dirty socks on her floor and fall asleep on her couch while messaging women online. If hubs is a great dad, he will continue so on his 50% of parenting time. Then she will have a built-in, trusted (ehhh) babysitter so she can travel... date... do something more exciting that get her self esteem beat down by this pos.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if you can't "do better" you should settle for being disrespected and lied to? Being single and divorced is far better than sucking it up and accepting poor treatment from your supposed loving "partner." Women don't need a husband. This guy isn't even treating her with the level of respect you might give an acquaintance. The only way I'd consider staying was if I personally was mentally ok with non-monogamy, or I confronted the husband, and he was honest and forthcoming and wanted to work on the marriage. Bring it up... see what happens. Lies, lies, and more lies.

I'd stay for a bit and spend the time working on taking $ from him.

Including get a postnup. Get the kids' college funds done and make him agree they belong to the kids and not the marriage. Etc. Make it hard for him to cheat again and easy for you to leave, assuming you think he wants to stay and this will be leverage for you.

Anonymous wrote:Actually I have a pretty well informed view of what single life is like. Here’s what it will be:

less money - depends. You can never tell about money with a cheater. They could leave you, spend the money. You don't know.
less time - depends on how much time they contribute and how much time you are spending worried about them. Might end up having less time with the kids because of the divorce.
loss of friends - big no. You must have loser friends
being treated as less-than by just about everybody - no. In fact probably the opposite.
constant unending stress and anxiety about being the breadwinner and only source of everything - if your DH is cheating that much he probably also sucks at his job but ok on this one.
no one to help you if you’re tired or sick - mom dad sis
inability to travel - is this really a top issue with divorcing a sex addict?
Inability to take on extra work - true but the work is more rewarding
possible need to change career paths to free up more time for kids - true. Depends on how great DH is at parenting
an endless parade of freaks and losers with flaws at least as large as her DH’s but people who have zero committment to her children - sounds like this is her life either way
while her apparently awesome high earning handsome funny non abusive non alcoholic non addicted highly educated service-oriented DH takes up with someone new and possibly goes on to have more kids, shortchanging her own, and providing a stable secure life for some other woman while OP watches from her office window, where she now spends every minute that she isn’t with her kids - this can happen in a marriage or out of it
It sucks, and is not necessarily better than dealing with the flawed human she married.- What exactly is it that she gets out of being with him by staying married? The money? Help around the house when he's not cheating? Probably best to spell this one out. These types of people divorce often once the kids are gone so please consider this will be the end state of their marriage whether OP wants it or not. She will be giving over the reins to ending the marriage to his timeline. Her decision to stay does not make him stay.