We included all children at our wedding. We believe weddings are family & community events, and children are a valuable part of families & communities. We didn’t pick a small or expensive venue, so that wasn’t an issue.

However, people can host whatever kind of wedding they want, and people invited can attend or not. We have definitely declined invitations to child free weddings when it was not practical for us to attend without kids. Oh well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this is an old thread... but I really hate when people say no kids and then still invite kids.

If an event is truly 18+ or 21+ that is totally fine! Say that! But dont say "no kids" and then invite other peoples kids. Just invite the adults.

I had an 18+ wedding. No kids were invited, no kids attended.

Many people, have a flower girl or two and a ring bearer. In a situation like this would you provide a baby sitter? Let the parents and kids know that the kids won’t be welcome at the reception? How would you — handle it?

It would be really weird for a wedding with child attendants to exclude children, imo.

Anonymous wrote:Every time I attend a child free wedding I deduct the childcare expenses from their gift. Last time they got a whole 40 bucks from me and my wife. Your free to say no kids and I’m free to give what I want.

There is no rule for giving gifts so I would rather you give nothing than be really cheap.

Children at a wedding are a pita because so few parents teach their children manners or how to behave in public.

OP - you lost.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this is an old thread... but I really hate when people say no kids and then still invite kids.

If an event is truly 18+ or 21+ that is totally fine! Say that! But dont say "no kids" and then invite other peoples kids. Just invite the adults.

I had an 18+ wedding. No kids were invited, no kids attended.

It's their party and they can do what they want to.

It's improper etiquette and poor hosting.

But sure, they can also charge people a cover fee. It's their party. Doesnt not make it tacky and rude.

This is not strictly true -- there is no specific etiquette rule that says if you invite some children to a wedding, you must allow all guests to bring their kids.

We only invited the kids of our immediate family because, for space reasons, this allowed us to invite more friends and also to ensure anyone who wanted to bring a date could (not just people who were married or in longterm relationships). Would it have been more polite invite the kids of our friends who had them, but then not invite 15 more friends we really did want to be there? Or tell our unmarried friends they aren't allowed to bring a date? Sometimes you have to make choices.

Charging a cover or making people pay for their drinks is a totally different matter. That's bad hosting because if you invite someone to a wedding, you should be providing them with food and drink. But not inviting every single child of every single guest is not automatically rude unless you are weirdly targeted about it (which most people are not -- in OP's case, it was only the children of the wedding party who were invited, which makes sense because they have more wedding obligations and also those kids are more likely to be known to, and important to, the bride and groom).

We allowed our siblings kids at our wedding but no one else. The venue's space was limited and we also felt if we invited kids we needed to provide some child minders and neither the space nor our budget were very amenable to that (whereas the family kids invited were a small enough number, and were familiar to every adult in the wedding party, so we didn't stress about them).

Now that I'm a parent I do wish we'd found a way to invite kids to the wedding because (1) I appreciate kids way more now and think I would have enjoyed having them there, and (2) I have more empathy for the parents of young kids who came to our wedding and the logistics involved in not bringing their kids. But I don't lose sleep over it. We did the best we could with the resources available to us. It worked out in the end.

I think it's okay to be mildly annoyed but if you hold onto this for years, it's a you problem. It's not that big of a deal.

You didn't have to go, OP.

Totally normal. You sound entitled and annoying

Anonymous wrote:We went way out of our way to go to a wedding, brought the kids because there is no where to leave them, found a babysitter in the wedding town and arrive to see tons of kids at the wedding. They were all "in the wedding party" but still I was really pet peeved to see that they basically allowed the entire grooms family to bring their kids and no one else.

Is that normal? I thought no kids meant 0 kids not even in the wedding party.

They didn't want your kids!

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, my cousins married 10 years ago and designated it "no kids." We flew across the country to attend but then my dh had to babysit in the hotel room while I visited with my family at the wedding. I was miffed because we made a big effort to be there, and yet couldn't bring our two kids.
Now they are the parents of two young boys, and I HIGHLY DOUBT they would appreciate someone telling them not to bring those kids to a wedding.
I hate no-kid weddings.

Own your choice here. A) One of you could have stayed home with the kids. B) You could have hired a sitter. C) You both could have declined. or D) what you chose. That's on you.

Anonymous wrote:I know this is an old thread... but I really hate when people say no kids and then still invite kids.

If an event is truly 18+ or 21+ that is totally fine! Say that! But dont say "no kids" and then invite other peoples kids. Just invite the adults.

I had an 18+ wedding. No kids were invited, no kids attended.

Many people, have a flower girl or two and a ring bearer. In a situation like this would you provide a baby sitter? Let the parents and kids know that the kids won’t be welcome at the reception? How would you — handle it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this is an old thread... but I really hate when people say no kids and then still invite kids.

If an event is truly 18+ or 21+ that is totally fine! Say that! But dont say "no kids" and then invite other peoples kids. Just invite the adults.

I had an 18+ wedding. No kids were invited, no kids attended.

It's their party and they can do what they want to.

It's improper etiquette and poor hosting.

But sure, they can also charge people a cover fee. It's their party. Doesnt not make it tacky and rude.

They don't like your kids.

The non-existent ones? Good to know.

Ugh, my cousins married 10 years ago and designated it "no kids." We flew across the country to attend but then my dh had to babysit in the hotel room while I visited with my family at the wedding. I was miffed because we made a big effort to be there, and yet couldn't bring our two kids.
Now they are the parents of two young boys, and I HIGHLY DOUBT they would appreciate someone telling them not to bring those kids to a wedding.
I hate no-kid weddings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this is an old thread... but I really hate when people say no kids and then still invite kids.

If an event is truly 18+ or 21+ that is totally fine! Say that! But dont say "no kids" and then invite other peoples kids. Just invite the adults.

I had an 18+ wedding. No kids were invited, no kids attended.

It's their party and they can do what they want to.

It's improper etiquette and poor hosting.

But sure, they can also charge people a cover fee. It's their party. Doesnt not make it tacky and rude.

They don't like your kids.

No kid weddings are not about the kids at all, but about the kids' parents inability to take proper care in making sure their kids are not disruptive. There are too many Main Character Wanna Be Parents who want the wedding to be about them. It is the bride and grooms day, no body else's day. Their day, their rules - you had your day.