Anonymous
11/18/2021 14:00
Subject: Re:do college admissions get ugly at the Big3 when all the parents are Ivy grads?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:As one PP noted, one typically hot-house subset of parents are first-time parents. I would add to that Venn diagram the overlap between first-time parents and parents who both went to Ivies or similar. Or even second- or third-time parents where both parents went to Ivies or similar. Neither parent realizes that (gasp!) you can be as successful, perhaps more successful (double gasp!), from a good school that's a good fit. Or even a less-good school that's a good fit. Or a good school that's a less-good fit. In our experience, and we've been around the DC "top" private school scene for awhile, many of these parents think that admissions to a lesser school than the ones they attended just means catastrophe--for the kids' happiness, for the kids' success, for the kids' future career prospects, for the kids' marriage prospects, and yes, for the parents' egos. Hang with parents at your school who have a broader perspective. Or pick a school that isn't heavily comprised of Ivy-or-similar parents. Parents where one or both are very successful but didn't go to an Ivy League school (some even went to state schools! The horror!) Parents whose oldest kid didn't go to an Ivy but is thriving at a school that's a really good fit. Parents who didn't grow up here or in the Northeast, and who understand that a great public k-12 plus education at the flagship university at the state is often a great educational path, and on some metrics, a better path. You get the picture.
To be clear, we've found a good contingent of parents with a broader view at our kids' "big" whatever school. So it's not that this rules out the "big" DC privates completely, and probably all of them could be in the mix on this score for particular classes. On the whole, though, if you really do your research, you'll find that some of these "big" schools have a higher concentration of narrow-perspective-for-college families than others. At least we did. And we avoided the one(s) that were hot-houses in that way.
the smugness here is just incredible.
How so?
Anonymous
11/18/2021 11:50
Subject: Re:do college admissions get ugly at the Big3 when all the parents are Ivy grads?
Anonymous wrote:As one PP noted, one typically hot-house subset of parents are first-time parents. I would add to that Venn diagram the overlap between first-time parents and parents who both went to Ivies or similar. Or even second- or third-time parents where both parents went to Ivies or similar. Neither parent realizes that (gasp!) you can be as successful, perhaps more successful (double gasp!), from a good school that's a good fit. Or even a less-good school that's a good fit. Or a good school that's a less-good fit. In our experience, and we've been around the DC "top" private school scene for awhile, many of these parents think that admissions to a lesser school than the ones they attended just means catastrophe--for the kids' happiness, for the kids' success, for the kids' future career prospects, for the kids' marriage prospects, and yes, for the parents' egos. Hang with parents at your school who have a broader perspective. Or pick a school that isn't heavily comprised of Ivy-or-similar parents. Parents where one or both are very successful but didn't go to an Ivy League school (some even went to state schools! The horror!) Parents whose oldest kid didn't go to an Ivy but is thriving at a school that's a really good fit. Parents who didn't grow up here or in the Northeast, and who understand that a great public k-12 plus education at the flagship university at the state is often a great educational path, and on some metrics, a better path. You get the picture.
To be clear, we've found a good contingent of parents with a broader view at our kids' "big" whatever school. So it's not that this rules out the "big" DC privates completely, and probably all of them could be in the mix on this score for particular classes. On the whole, though, if you really do your research, you'll find that some of these "big" schools have a higher concentration of narrow-perspective-for-college families than others. At least we did. And we avoided the one(s) that were hot-houses in that way.
the smugness here is just incredible.
Anonymous
11/18/2021 11:48
Subject: Re:do college admissions get ugly at the Big3 when all the parents are Ivy grads?
As one PP noted, one typically hot-house subset of parents are first-time parents. I would add to that Venn diagram the overlap between first-time parents and parents who both went to Ivies or similar. Or even second- or third-time parents where both parents went to Ivies or similar. Neither parent realizes that (gasp!) you can be as successful, perhaps more successful (double gasp!), from a good school that's a good fit. Or even a less-good school that's a good fit. Or a good school that's a less-good fit. In our experience, and we've been around the DC "top" private school scene for awhile, many of these parents think that admissions to a lesser school than the ones they attended just means catastrophe--for the kids' happiness, for the kids' success, for the kids' future career prospects, for the kids' marriage prospects, and yes, for the parents' egos. Hang with parents at your school who have a broader perspective. Or pick a school that isn't heavily comprised of Ivy-or-similar parents. Parents where one or both are very successful but didn't go to an Ivy League school (some even went to state schools! The horror!) Parents whose oldest kid didn't go to an Ivy but is thriving at a school that's a really good fit. Parents who didn't grow up here or in the Northeast, and who understand that a great public k-12 plus education at the flagship university at the state is often a great educational path, and on some metrics, a better path. You get the picture.
To be clear, we've found a good contingent of parents with a broader view at our kids' "big" whatever school. So it's not that this rules out the "big" DC privates completely, and probably all of them could be in the mix on this score for particular classes. On the whole, though, if you really do your research, you'll find that some of these "big" schools have a higher concentration of narrow-perspective-for-college families than others. At least we did. And we avoided the one(s) that were hot-houses in that way.
To be clear, we've found a good contingent of parents with a broader view at our kids' "big" whatever school. So it's not that this rules out the "big" DC privates completely, and probably all of them could be in the mix on this score for particular classes. On the whole, though, if you really do your research, you'll find that some of these "big" schools have a higher concentration of narrow-perspective-for-college families than others. At least we did. And we avoided the one(s) that were hot-houses in that way.
Anonymous
11/18/2021 08:17
Subject: do college admissions get ugly at the Big3 when all the parents are Ivy grads?
Getting back to the original question, college admissions is stressful for every kid, and some schools CCO are just better than others in managing expectations for kids and families.
At one DC school, CCO met early with DC, had honest conversations about what DC wanted and then met with parents and DC to discuss a broad reaching list of schools. CCO was very frank in managing expectations, and balanced encouraging DC to apply REA to the Ivy where DC was legacy, and yet also letting DC and us know the odds.
At our other DC school, CCO was not as personalized nor involved, but did their job. Looked at DC's profile, factored in potential hooks, and told DC to apply to legacy school REA, but also get an ED2 application ready for "x" school just in case. Interestingly, DC had no interest in "x" school, but CCO made the hard sell, and so DC did not push back.
In the end, everything worked out for our children.
Bottom line, the CCO at the various schools all work a bit differently, but get their students to the same places. It can get dicey when CCO is the first time parents are being told to manage expectations.
At one DC school, CCO met early with DC, had honest conversations about what DC wanted and then met with parents and DC to discuss a broad reaching list of schools. CCO was very frank in managing expectations, and balanced encouraging DC to apply REA to the Ivy where DC was legacy, and yet also letting DC and us know the odds.
At our other DC school, CCO was not as personalized nor involved, but did their job. Looked at DC's profile, factored in potential hooks, and told DC to apply to legacy school REA, but also get an ED2 application ready for "x" school just in case. Interestingly, DC had no interest in "x" school, but CCO made the hard sell, and so DC did not push back.
In the end, everything worked out for our children.
Bottom line, the CCO at the various schools all work a bit differently, but get their students to the same places. It can get dicey when CCO is the first time parents are being told to manage expectations.
Anonymous
11/18/2021 07:29
Subject: do college admissions get ugly at the Big3 when all the parents are Ivy grads?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take this thread as a little tiny taste of what goes on at the “big x” amongst the parents when it comes to college admissions. This is how they really feel. Only a thin veneer of civility between this and you.
Sidwell parents are a different breed, PP. Not ALL Big 3 schools would tolerate this. You don't see STA parents demanding, " SHOW me the ( insert anything ), making calls to CCO from a blocked number, calling an Ivy with dirt about their kid's HS classmate- Ever.
Some schools hold the line no matter who the parents are.
Other schools fit the matra often used to a marriage of convenience, " if you marry for their money, you will earn EVERY dollar "
Any school can have a parent that develops an onset of mental health issues.
Look, as a (fellow?) Sidwell parent, you aren't doing anyone any favors by revising history--it was not simply one parent that ran the college counseling office out of the school. Two, it’s not cool to speculate about an identifiable individual’s health profile on dcum.
Anonymous
11/18/2021 07:11
Subject: do college admissions get ugly at the Big3 when all the parents are Ivy grads?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take this thread as a little tiny taste of what goes on at the “big x” amongst the parents when it comes to college admissions. This is how they really feel. Only a thin veneer of civility between this and you.
Sidwell parents are a different breed, PP. Not ALL Big 3 schools would tolerate this. You don't see STA parents demanding, " SHOW me the ( insert anything ), making calls to CCO from a blocked number, calling an Ivy with dirt about their kid's HS classmate- Ever.
Some schools hold the line no matter who the parents are.
Other schools fit the matra often used to a marriage of convenience, " if you marry for their money, you will earn EVERY dollar "
Sidwell didn’t tolerate it either.
Your comment is so arrogantly WASPy and ugly. Referring to Sidwell parents as a “breed.” Very thinly veiled comment there, pp.
DP Calm down dear. “Different breed” is a very popular meme on TikTok.
Anonymous
11/18/2021 05:43
Subject: do college admissions get ugly at the Big3 when all the parents are Ivy grads?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take this thread as a little tiny taste of what goes on at the “big x” amongst the parents when it comes to college admissions. This is how they really feel. Only a thin veneer of civility between this and you.
Sidwell parents are a different breed, PP. Not ALL Big 3 schools would tolerate this. You don't see STA parents demanding, " SHOW me the ( insert anything ), making calls to CCO from a blocked number, calling an Ivy with dirt about their kid's HS classmate- Ever.
Some schools hold the line no matter who the parents are.
Other schools fit the matra often used to a marriage of convenience, " if you marry for their money, you will earn EVERY dollar "
Any school can have a parent that develops an onset of mental health issues.
Anonymous
11/17/2021 23:09
Subject: do college admissions get ugly at the Big3 when all the parents are Ivy grads?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take this thread as a little tiny taste of what goes on at the “big x” amongst the parents when it comes to college admissions. This is how they really feel. Only a thin veneer of civility between this and you.
Sidwell parents are a different breed, PP. Not ALL Big 3 schools would tolerate this. You don't see STA parents demanding, " SHOW me the ( insert anything ), making calls to CCO from a blocked number, calling an Ivy with dirt about their kid's HS classmate- Ever.
Some schools hold the line no matter who the parents are.
Other schools fit the matra often used to a marriage of convenience, " if you marry for their money, you will earn EVERY dollar "
There is one Sidwell parent making this demand, and scores telling her to stick it.
The scores telling him/her/them to stick it aren't coming off well either....
And it’s more than one saying information should be provided by the school.
PP, do you realize how silly you sound, talking about posters “making demands?” This is an anonymous message board!
Anonymous
11/17/2021 22:49
Subject: do college admissions get ugly at the Big3 when all the parents are Ivy grads?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take this thread as a little tiny taste of what goes on at the “big x” amongst the parents when it comes to college admissions. This is how they really feel. Only a thin veneer of civility between this and you.
Sidwell parents are a different breed, PP. Not ALL Big 3 schools would tolerate this. You don't see STA parents demanding, " SHOW me the ( insert anything ), making calls to CCO from a blocked number, calling an Ivy with dirt about their kid's HS classmate- Ever.
Some schools hold the line no matter who the parents are.
Other schools fit the matra often used to a marriage of convenience, " if you marry for their money, you will earn EVERY dollar "
There is one Sidwell parent making this demand, and scores telling her to stick it.
The scores telling him/her/them to stick it aren't coming off well either....
Anonymous
11/17/2021 22:48
Subject: do college admissions get ugly at the Big3 when all the parents are Ivy grads?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take this thread as a little tiny taste of what goes on at the “big x” amongst the parents when it comes to college admissions. This is how they really feel. Only a thin veneer of civility between this and you.
Sidwell parents are a different breed, PP. Not ALL Big 3 schools would tolerate this. You don't see STA parents demanding, " SHOW me the ( insert anything ), making calls to CCO from a blocked number, calling an Ivy with dirt about their kid's HS classmate- Ever.
Some schools hold the line no matter who the parents are.
Other schools fit the matra often used to a marriage of convenience, " if you marry for their money, you will earn EVERY dollar "
Sidwell didn’t tolerate it either.
Your comment is so arrogantly WASPy and ugly. Referring to Sidwell parents as a “breed.” Very thinly veiled comment there, pp.
It's an expression, good grief
Anonymous
11/17/2021 22:40
Subject: do college admissions get ugly at the Big3 when all the parents are Ivy grads?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take this thread as a little tiny taste of what goes on at the “big x” amongst the parents when it comes to college admissions. This is how they really feel. Only a thin veneer of civility between this and you.
Sidwell parents are a different breed, PP. Not ALL Big 3 schools would tolerate this. You don't see STA parents demanding, " SHOW me the ( insert anything ), making calls to CCO from a blocked number, calling an Ivy with dirt about their kid's HS classmate- Ever.
Some schools hold the line no matter who the parents are.
Other schools fit the matra often used to a marriage of convenience, " if you marry for their money, you will earn EVERY dollar "
There is one Sidwell parent making this demand, and scores telling her to stick it.
Anonymous
11/17/2021 22:25
Subject: do college admissions get ugly at the Big3 when all the parents are Ivy grads?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take this thread as a little tiny taste of what goes on at the “big x” amongst the parents when it comes to college admissions. This is how they really feel. Only a thin veneer of civility between this and you.
Sidwell parents are a different breed, PP. Not ALL Big 3 schools would tolerate this. You don't see STA parents demanding, " SHOW me the ( insert anything ), making calls to CCO from a blocked number, calling an Ivy with dirt about their kid's HS classmate- Ever.
Some schools hold the line no matter who the parents are.
Other schools fit the matra often used to a marriage of convenience, " if you marry for their money, you will earn EVERY dollar "
Sidwell didn’t tolerate it either.
Your comment is so arrogantly WASPy and ugly. Referring to Sidwell parents as a “breed.” Very thinly veiled comment there, pp.
Are you implying that Sidwell is not WASPy? Really?
Anonymous
11/17/2021 22:19
Subject: do college admissions get ugly at the Big3 when all the parents are Ivy grads?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take this thread as a little tiny taste of what goes on at the “big x” amongst the parents when it comes to college admissions. This is how they really feel. Only a thin veneer of civility between this and you.
Sidwell parents are a different breed, PP. Not ALL Big 3 schools would tolerate this. You don't see STA parents demanding, " SHOW me the ( insert anything ), making calls to CCO from a blocked number, calling an Ivy with dirt about their kid's HS classmate- Ever.
Some schools hold the line no matter who the parents are.
Other schools fit the matra often used to a marriage of convenience, " if you marry for their money, you will earn EVERY dollar "
Sidwell didn’t tolerate it either.
Your comment is so arrogantly WASPy and ugly. Referring to Sidwell parents as a “breed.” Very thinly veiled comment there, pp.
Anonymous
11/17/2021 22:09
Subject: do college admissions get ugly at the Big3 when all the parents are Ivy grads?
Well, now you know, OP. You chose a “tippy top” (!) school and these are your fellow parents.
Anonymous
11/17/2021 21:49
Subject: do college admissions get ugly at the Big3 when all the parents are Ivy grads?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take this thread as a little tiny taste of what goes on at the “big x” amongst the parents when it comes to college admissions. This is how they really feel. Only a thin veneer of civility between this and you.
Sidwell parents are a different breed, PP. Not ALL Big 3 schools would tolerate this. You don't see STA parents demanding, " SHOW me the ( insert anything ), making calls to CCO from a blocked number, calling an Ivy with dirt about their kid's HS classmate- Ever.
Some schools hold the line no matter who the parents are.
Other schools fit the matra often used to a marriage of convenience, " if you marry for their money, you will earn EVERY dollar "
Completely agree. NCS parent here, and this would never happen there either. In fact, I suspect the earlier poster who talked about the family-like feel at their school may have also been an NCS parent -- and even if not, you could easily describe the NCS community the same way, especially when it comes time for college applications.