Anonymous wrote:So this is obsession? Like an adolescent crush on a teacher? Or BPD, where they make up who the other person is and then that fantasy is what they are obsessed with, not the real person?

Yes, it's very obsessive and tends to result in a lot of bad decisions being made, the willingness to blow up one's life, and the idea that this other person is their "soul mate" and it's out of their control.

limerence is bliss!
no relationship or marriage for that matter should feel like life sentence, yes, there are promises or vows or whatever you call them but there shouldn’t actually be any of those, the religious part of it it’s just stupid, those promises cannot come with all the contingencies, yes, I vow I’ll never even think of being with another woman except if you don’t have sex with in months; if it goes well, that’s great, if not, somehow we’ll survive and the kids will be ok, look at the scandinavian societies, there’s so much less drama regarding divorce

Anonymous wrote:What’s the difference between an affair, a limerent affair, and an emotional affair???

Next on Oprah!

Except oops, no more Oprah!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the difference between an affair, a limerent affair, and an emotional affair???

An affair is an affair, meaning, unfaithfulness to your spouse. “Limerence” is when people (usually very damaged people with traumatic childhoods) develop an obsession with a person that may not even be reciprocated, but can rise to the level of a full affair if the other person eventually reciprocates. See this thread for a chronicle of the crazy behavior involved. An emotional affair is sort of a prescursor to a full affair, in that nothing physical has happened yet but there’s all kinds of inappropriate communication and intimacy happening.

This happens to people from all walks of life with a good or bad marriage, lots of sex or none, not just the “very damaged.” I know- it doesn’t feel good to know that but it’s true.

It doesn't just happen to people. You do have to make a decision to cheat.

If it’s not physical and no actions are taken to further it then there’s no affair

So this is obsession? Like an adolescent crush on a teacher? Or BPD, where they make up who the other person is and then that fantasy is what they are obsessed with, not the real person?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the difference between an affair, a limerent affair, and an emotional affair???

An affair is an affair, meaning, unfaithfulness to your spouse. “Limerence” is when people (usually very damaged people with traumatic childhoods) develop an obsession with a person that may not even be reciprocated, but can rise to the level of a full affair if the other person eventually reciprocates. See this thread for a chronicle of the crazy behavior involved. An emotional affair is sort of a prescursor to a full affair, in that nothing physical has happened yet but there’s all kinds of inappropriate communication and intimacy happening.

This happens to people from all walks of life with a good or bad marriage, lots of sex or none, not just the “very damaged.” I know- it doesn’t feel good to know that but it’s true.

It doesn't just happen to people. You do have to make a decision to cheat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the difference between an affair, a limerent affair, and an emotional affair???

An affair is an affair, meaning, unfaithfulness to your spouse. “Limerence” is when people (usually very damaged people with traumatic childhoods) develop an obsession with a person that may not even be reciprocated, but can rise to the level of a full affair if the other person eventually reciprocates. See this thread for a chronicle of the crazy behavior involved. An emotional affair is sort of a prescursor to a full affair, in that nothing physical has happened yet but there’s all kinds of inappropriate communication and intimacy happening.

This happens to people from all walks of life with a good or bad marriage, lots of sex or none, not just the “very damaged.” I know- it doesn’t feel good to know that but it’s true.

Anonymous wrote:What’s the difference between an affair, a limerent affair, and an emotional affair???

An affair is an affair, meaning, unfaithfulness to your spouse. “Limerence” is when people (usually very damaged people with traumatic childhoods) develop an obsession with a person that may not even be reciprocated, but can rise to the level of a full affair if the other person eventually reciprocates. See this thread for a chronicle of the crazy behavior involved. An emotional affair is sort of a prescursor to a full affair, in that nothing physical has happened yet but there’s all kinds of inappropriate communication and intimacy happening.

What’s the difference between an affair, a limerent affair, and an emotional affair???

There once was a boy from DC
he promised he'd always love me
what a disapointment
can't keep an appointment
Maybe its ADHD

I told DCUM my very sad tale
but most people said oh well
You should have learned
before you got burned
he was an unreliable male

I thought about leaving my spouse
after all he's kind of louse
but just up and splitting
doesn't seem fitting
and I cant afford the house

Now I go around moping
for a thrilling affair I'm hoping
limerance or not
he better be hot
cause its the only way I'm coping

Ladies, this bears repeating
Cover your tracks when meeting
I got a burner phone
but. left it home
and now DH knows that I'm cheating

I got mad and accused him of spying
but inside I feel like dying
he lost all the weight
and started to date
and now I'm on DCUM crying

This is me, I have limerent feelings for a coworker. I try not to talk with him, I have very serious boundaries and don’t talk to him outside of work hours ever, I don’t say anything personal to him except cute stories about my family, and yet I know that I care about him and what he thinks of me too much, and that I think about him too much. I’m really struggling and don’t know why I’m doing this and this is my only little space to confess.

I thought Limerence was that place with the severed floor.

Anonymous wrote:DW insisted they were just friends. I did my best to try and believe that was the case. One day she told me a story about something that happened. About 10 minutes later her "friend" came over and when she repeated the same story to him, her voice got noticeably higher and she became much more animated describing it.
From that point on I assumed she was lying, the only thing that probably stopped her from cheating is from my observation the attraction was one way

Wait what?

Maybe he was just more enthusiastic about her story and she was responding?

Also, why did you let this dude into your house?

Anonymous wrote:I’d like more limericks please…

Divorce dcum style…

My husband slept with his work wife
His actions ruined our home life
I stopped being his honey
I took all his money
And just went under the knife

I’m not a spoiled brat
And no I didn’t get fat
My Husband was just bored
And wanted to be adored
So now it’s just me and my cat

Gold medal.

Anonymous wrote:My first spouse had a limerent affair, second spouse had a quasi-limerent affair, third spouse had a non-limerent affair. All the while I was having minimally limerent affairs. Very sad for all parties

why do you keep getting married???