Spending quality time with two young children is so important and valuable. I don't think that should be overlooked. They grow up fast. I agree you should prepare dinner early for everyone and no pressure on her to join. But one would hope she would, over time.

Diagnosis: The wife eats poorly because she’s a slob. Plain and simple.

My DIL is like this. She wanted to be a SAHM but is a terrible housekeeper. Their house is cluttered and she doesn't cook well either. Making your guests cook while visiting is tacky.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is setting the kids up to be obese. Eventually a bad diet catches up to you and it's best to teach good habits. Talk to the kids,say it's not healthy. Shoe them episodes of sesame street and other shows that say it's not healthy.

You start cooking. Make dinner on Sundays for the entire week. Prep a lasagna but include spinach in the sauce, sece it with salad. Set up a casserole. Start with starches and veggies and then move on to proteins that your wife can throw in the microwave. Help her find a quick 30 minute meal that doesn't involve pasta that your kids will eat. Once the kids begin to want real food they won't let her go to fast food restaurants.

OP here again. I spoke with my wife today and told her that she needed to clean up her eating habits. She'll drink 3 bottles of Coke throughout the day and complains that she doesn't have the time to work out with me as I am getting back to the gym. I would really like her to make small changes but so far it's going nowhere.

You know she’s doing it in part to spite you because you’re so unpleasant and controlling, right? Has that seriously not sunk in yet?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is setting the kids up to be obese. Eventually a bad diet catches up to you and it's best to teach good habits. Talk to the kids,say it's not healthy. Shoe them episodes of sesame street and other shows that say it's not healthy.

You start cooking. Make dinner on Sundays for the entire week. Prep a lasagna but include spinach in the sauce, sece it with salad. Set up a casserole. Start with starches and veggies and then move on to proteins that your wife can throw in the microwave. Help her find a quick 30 minute meal that doesn't involve pasta that your kids will eat. Once the kids begin to want real food they won't let her go to fast food restaurants.

OP here again. I spoke with my wife today and told her that she needed to clean up her eating habits. She'll drink 3 bottles of Coke throughout the day and complains that she doesn't have the time to work out with me as I am getting back to the gym. I would really like her to make small changes but so far it's going nowhere.

You “told her”. What does she say about her eating habits? Does she agree that they could be better? Or is she fine with it? Again, is she depressed and open to therapy?

She's not depressed. Far from it. She's happy to play with the kids and I think she hides behind needing to be with them all the time instead of actually doing household chores, preparing meals etc. When my dad and his wife visited for a few days (out-of-state), my wife didn't prepare a single meal and my dad, his wife and I had to make dinner or buy groceries instead and make plates for ourselves. She calls herself a picky eater but she isn't willing to put in the work to live a healthy lifestyle.

Time for a divorce, OP. She shows no signs of wanting to change - which means she never will.

Yes, it will be hard on you and your kids - but you deserve more than a lazy food addict as a life partner.

40s and with sleep apnea? The OP is going to end up outliving his wife.

Doesn’t matter. No need to have to deal with/take care of her and her self induced afflictions. GTFO now...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is setting the kids up to be obese. Eventually a bad diet catches up to you and it's best to teach good habits. Talk to the kids,say it's not healthy. Shoe them episodes of sesame street and other shows that say it's not healthy.

You start cooking. Make dinner on Sundays for the entire week. Prep a lasagna but include spinach in the sauce, sece it with salad. Set up a casserole. Start with starches and veggies and then move on to proteins that your wife can throw in the microwave. Help her find a quick 30 minute meal that doesn't involve pasta that your kids will eat. Once the kids begin to want real food they won't let her go to fast food restaurants.

OP here again. I spoke with my wife today and told her that she needed to clean up her eating habits. She'll drink 3 bottles of Coke throughout the day and complains that she doesn't have the time to work out with me as I am getting back to the gym. I would really like her to make small changes but so far it's going nowhere.

You “told her”. What does she say about her eating habits? Does she agree that they could be better? Or is she fine with it? Again, is she depressed and open to therapy?

She's not depressed. Far from it. She's happy to play with the kids and I think she hides behind needing to be with them all the time instead of actually doing household chores, preparing meals etc. When my dad and his wife visited for a few days (out-of-state), my wife didn't prepare a single meal and my dad, his wife and I had to make dinner or buy groceries instead and make plates for ourselves. She calls herself a picky eater but she isn't willing to put in the work to live a healthy lifestyle.

Time for a divorce, OP. She shows no signs of wanting to change - which means she never will.

Yes, it will be hard on you and your kids - but you deserve more than a lazy food addict as a life partner.

40s and with sleep apnea? The OP is going to end up outliving his wife.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is setting the kids up to be obese. Eventually a bad diet catches up to you and it's best to teach good habits. Talk to the kids,say it's not healthy. Shoe them episodes of sesame street and other shows that say it's not healthy.

You start cooking. Make dinner on Sundays for the entire week. Prep a lasagna but include spinach in the sauce, sece it with salad. Set up a casserole. Start with starches and veggies and then move on to proteins that your wife can throw in the microwave. Help her find a quick 30 minute meal that doesn't involve pasta that your kids will eat. Once the kids begin to want real food they won't let her go to fast food restaurants.

OP here again. I spoke with my wife today and told her that she needed to clean up her eating habits. She'll drink 3 bottles of Coke throughout the day and complains that she doesn't have the time to work out with me as I am getting back to the gym. I would really like her to make small changes but so far it's going nowhere.

You “told her”. What does she say about her eating habits? Does she agree that they could be better? Or is she fine with it? Again, is she depressed and open to therapy?

She's not depressed. Far from it. She's happy to play with the kids and I think she hides behind needing to be with them all the time instead of actually doing household chores, preparing meals etc. When my dad and his wife visited for a few days (out-of-state), my wife didn't prepare a single meal and my dad, his wife and I had to make dinner or buy groceries instead and make plates for ourselves. She calls herself a picky eater but she isn't willing to put in the work to live a healthy lifestyle.

Time for a divorce, OP. She shows no signs of wanting to change - which means she never will.

Yes, it will be hard on you and your kids - but you deserve more than a lazy food addict as a life partner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is setting the kids up to be obese. Eventually a bad diet catches up to you and it's best to teach good habits. Talk to the kids,say it's not healthy. Shoe them episodes of sesame street and other shows that say it's not healthy.

You start cooking. Make dinner on Sundays for the entire week. Prep a lasagna but include spinach in the sauce, sece it with salad. Set up a casserole. Start with starches and veggies and then move on to proteins that your wife can throw in the microwave. Help her find a quick 30 minute meal that doesn't involve pasta that your kids will eat. Once the kids begin to want real food they won't let her go to fast food restaurants.

OP here again. I spoke with my wife today and told her that she needed to clean up her eating habits. She'll drink 3 bottles of Coke throughout the day and complains that she doesn't have the time to work out with me as I am getting back to the gym. I would really like her to make small changes but so far it's going nowhere.

You “told her”. What does she say about her eating habits? Does she agree that they could be better? Or is she fine with it? Again, is she depressed and open to therapy?

She's not depressed. Far from it. She's happy to play with the kids and I think she hides behind needing to be with them all the time instead of actually doing household chores, preparing meals etc. When my dad and his wife visited for a few days (out-of-state), my wife didn't prepare a single meal and my dad, his wife and I had to make dinner or buy groceries instead and make plates for ourselves. She calls herself a picky eater but she isn't willing to put in the work to live a healthy lifestyle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is setting the kids up to be obese. Eventually a bad diet catches up to you and it's best to teach good habits. Talk to the kids,say it's not healthy. Shoe them episodes of sesame street and other shows that say it's not healthy.

You start cooking. Make dinner on Sundays for the entire week. Prep a lasagna but include spinach in the sauce, sece it with salad. Set up a casserole. Start with starches and veggies and then move on to proteins that your wife can throw in the microwave. Help her find a quick 30 minute meal that doesn't involve pasta that your kids will eat. Once the kids begin to want real food they won't let her go to fast food restaurants.

OP here again. I spoke with my wife today and told her that she needed to clean up her eating habits. She'll drink 3 bottles of Coke throughout the day and complains that she doesn't have the time to work out with me as I am getting back to the gym. I would really like her to make small changes but so far it's going nowhere.

You “told her”. What does she say about her eating habits? Does she agree that they could be better? Or is she fine with it? Again, is she depressed and open to therapy?

Anonymous wrote:She is setting the kids up to be obese. Eventually a bad diet catches up to you and it's best to teach good habits. Talk to the kids,say it's not healthy. Shoe them episodes of sesame street and other shows that say it's not healthy.

You start cooking. Make dinner on Sundays for the entire week. Prep a lasagna but include spinach in the sauce, sece it with salad. Set up a casserole. Start with starches and veggies and then move on to proteins that your wife can throw in the microwave. Help her find a quick 30 minute meal that doesn't involve pasta that your kids will eat. Once the kids begin to want real food they won't let her go to fast food restaurants.

OP here again. I spoke with my wife today and told her that she needed to clean up her eating habits. She'll drink 3 bottles of Coke throughout the day and complains that she doesn't have the time to work out with me as I am getting back to the gym. I would really like her to make small changes but so far it's going nowhere.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you do all day? Sleep?

Is money an issue? I'm assuming you aren't rolling in the dough if you are doing nightshift work and she's staying at home.

PP. If he's working the night shift and doesn't sleep during the day, when does he?

NO true we all only have 24 hrs in a day but most don’t spend half working and half asleep with no time for anything else.

Anonymous wrote:What do you do all day? Sleep?

Is money an issue? I'm assuming you aren't rolling in the dough if you are doing nightshift work and she's staying at home.

PP. If he's working the night shift and doesn't sleep during the day, when does he?

She needs to learn how to cook. Teach her how to cook when you both have time. Maybe she can buy frozen vegetables? She can boil them along with the pasta.

Why doesn't she want to cook anything else? Is it preference for the taste or desire to save time?

Also, make sure that any mental health issues are ruled out.

Can you work out together?

She is setting the kids up to be obese. Eventually a bad diet catches up to you and it's best to teach good habits. Talk to the kids,say it's not healthy. Shoe them episodes of sesame street and other shows that say it's not healthy.

You start cooking. Make dinner on Sundays for the entire week. Prep a lasagna but include spinach in the sauce, sece it with salad. Set up a casserole. Start with starches and veggies and then move on to proteins that your wife can throw in the microwave. Help her find a quick 30 minute meal that doesn't involve pasta that your kids will eat. Once the kids begin to want real food they won't let her go to fast food restaurants.

That is so tough. There is a lot that needs to change. I suggest small steps, here are some ideas:

1) make a family commitment to no McDonalds or BK for a month
2) find 1-2 restaurants/meals on uber eats that are healthyish and can be ordered for convenience as budget allows
3) once a week, cook something new TOGETHER
4) Find easy slow cooker chicken recipes that you can do in the instant part that require minimum effort
5) find at least one veggie she can get behind. It’s hard not to like roasted broccoli in the oven IMO. Super easy too

You aren’t going to fix this by buying a cookbook and saying “do it”. I’m pretty damn good in the kitchen and I find cookbooks intimidating and boring. I prefer google searches and trying to replicate food I like from restaurants.