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Anonymous wrote:I have lots of friends that have retired. I am getting close. The middle class friends have seen their expenses drop assuming house paid for. Interestingly my UMC friends (sample of 3) all have had expenses stay the same or even increase -- also with house paid off. Why? They say spending more on travel than planned (1) Regularly visiting kids who do not live in this area, and (2) taking more vacation type trips. Also they say they spend a lot on kids when visiting. Not for everyone but that is their experience.

Bingo -- this is what I was thinking.
With kids in school we generally take 1 major vacation per year (summer), and sometimes some smaller trip during winter break.

If we were completely free, it would be awesome to take a trips 4-6 times per year. And since you don't need to "conserve vacation days" from work, you could actually do longer trips, where you could explore more. So I would think that travel expenses could definitely be higher than current.

+2. I don't expect expenses to decrease at all for several reasons: 1. health insurance costs until medicare kicks in 2. more "entertainment" costs such as traveling/hobbies 3. vacation as a family including kids/grandkids when they have families of their own. I also think that we may spend more than we currently do. Glad someone else spoke up.

Are you expecting to pay for all your adult kids and your grandkids? I think I'd expect my adult kids to pay their fair share if they're employed and have their own families.

Yes...I do pay for my adult kids and grandkids. My kids don't have the disposable income to travel the way we travel. What good is a pile of money of you can't share these wonderful experiences with the people you love most?

The pandemic was a blessing. Everyone working remote and school remote we did some travel of a lifetime as a family. Our kids could have never afforded the flights, nor the logistics of a trip with nobody to help with the kids during the day without out money and time.

My kids are lazy. I have no intention of paying for them and their families to vacation (!), with or without us.

Yeah, we're not desperate enough to pay the kids to spend time with us either... we raised them to pay their own way as responsible adults.

Yeah it is not about this. It is about letting them use their money to do other things.

You can rationalize it if you want, but you just prove my point. Your kids rather use their money to "do other things" instead of spending it on being with you.

NP. You are just being silly. They are teenagers or young adults, they probably do want to use their money for other things, so what? I'll bet her kids love her to bits.

It is not about paying for company. It is paying for things so that your kids can use funds elsewhere like max out 401k, like house payment or down payment. Some people take the view that they are done helping kids as soon as they leave college. Fine, nothing wrong with that. Others want to keep helping. If you are UMC and have funds that will be over death tax limit, it makes sense to do things for the kids now and not wait until death or near death.

Anonymous wrote:The common theme to this thread is there is different comfort levels to retirement for different folks.

For me, I intend to retire as soon as I am eligible as a fed: at age 57, when I hit 30 years. Originally I was thinking 62 or 65. But then I watched my father get diagnosed with Alzheimer's at age 67, and now at 69 he has been in a LTC setting for a year. He retired at 64. Made me realize life is short and it would be great to live to my 80s or 90s, but its not guaranteed, and I don't want to spend the bulk of it working. Dad's monthly care is $6,000. It's expensive, but doable for my parents, as Dad's pension covers most of the cost, and my Mom lives off their SS payments and the interest their investments earn.

What is funny to me is my Mom acts like she is poor. They have 1.5 million in investments, another 250K in cash, and the equity in their home is 1.5m. When Dad eventually passes, she intends to sell and downsize, so she'll probably pocket about 1 million or a little less. She somehow feels like 2.5-2.75m is not enough for 1 person to live off for another 20 years or more. She pinches pennies, pretends like she is 1 month away from financial ruin, and is constantly stressing about money. It drives me up the wall at times, as 99% of other retirees live on less, and her attitude comes off to me as ungrateful and lacking of perspective, but I try to moderate it with an understanding she came from a very poor background as a child. Anyways, my point is, people have different thresholds for what they need to feel comfortable in retirement- there is no one size fits all. Its unique to each individual or couple and what their goals in retirement are. My husband and I are on target for 1.250-1.5m in investments when I retire at age 57 (in another 13 years), and between that, 2 pensions bringing in around 90K/annually, and SS, I think we'll be able to swing it just fine.

My FIL was the exact same way, and yes, it's because they come from poor backgrounds.

I too grew up lower income, and I fear I will have the same attitude even though my financial situation will mirror your mom's. My spouse has to keep me sane.

The common theme to this thread is there is different comfort levels to retirement for different folks.

For me, I intend to retire as soon as I am eligible as a fed: at age 57, when I hit 30 years. Originally I was thinking 62 or 65. But then I watched my father get diagnosed with Alzheimer's at age 67, and now at 69 he has been in a LTC setting for a year. He retired at 64. Made me realize life is short and it would be great to live to my 80s or 90s, but its not guaranteed, and I don't want to spend the bulk of it working. Dad's monthly care is $6,000. It's expensive, but doable for my parents, as Dad's pension covers most of the cost, and my Mom lives off their SS payments and the interest their investments earn.

What is funny to me is my Mom acts like she is poor. They have 1.5 million in investments, another 250K in cash, and the equity in their home is 1.5m. When Dad eventually passes, she intends to sell and downsize, so she'll probably pocket about 1 million or a little less. She somehow feels like 2.5-2.75m is not enough for 1 person to live off for another 20 years or more. She pinches pennies, pretends like she is 1 month away from financial ruin, and is constantly stressing about money. It drives me up the wall at times, as 99% of other retirees live on less, and her attitude comes off to me as ungrateful and lacking of perspective, but I try to moderate it with an understanding she came from a very poor background as a child. Anyways, my point is, people have different thresholds for what they need to feel comfortable in retirement- there is no one size fits all. Its unique to each individual or couple and what their goals in retirement are. My husband and I are on target for 1.250-1.5m in investments when I retire at age 57 (in another 13 years), and between that, 2 pensions bringing in around 90K/annually, and SS, I think we'll be able to swing it just fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God. I will start feeling that we are poor after reading this and we certainly are not.

Ok. We have 1 mil in investments. We have a 1/2 million home. We will have a generous pension of 180K, as long as one of us is alive. I will not get social security because I did not work long enough, DH will get approx 3K. Our aim is to live for 30 yrs more after retirement and get our money's worth in pension.

Assuming it is inflation protected, the 180k pension gets you to about a 4.5 million equivalent. SS is on top of that. And is it 3k a year, or a month? If the latter, you are doing more than fine.

+1 we don't have a pension, and we have to buy our own insurance because the plan is to retire before 60.

But we will hopefully have about $3mil+ in retirement savings, $350K other savings, and $600k+ home equity.

It will be enough to retire on. Expense are probably about $120K/yr, including some travel.

Anonymous wrote:God. I will start feeling that we are poor after reading this and we certainly are not.

Ok. We have 1 mil in investments. We have a 1/2 million home. We will have a generous pension of 180K, as long as one of us is alive. I will not get social security because I did not work long enough, DH will get approx 3K. Our aim is to live for 30 yrs more after retirement and get our money's worth in pension.

Assuming it is inflation protected, the 180k pension gets you to about a 4.5 million equivalent. SS is on top of that. And is it 3k a year, or a month? If the latter, you are doing more than fine.

God. I will start feeling that we are poor after reading this and we certainly are not.

Ok. We have 1 mil in investments. We have a 1/2 million home. We will have a generous pension of 180K, as long as one of us is alive. I will not get social security because I did not work long enough, DH will get approx 3K. Our aim is to live for 30 yrs more after retirement and get our money's worth in pension.

Anonymous wrote:When PP takes her kids to dinner, she splits the bill with them.

I have so much more money than my kids, of course I'm happy to pay for them. PP sounds like a miser, and unpleasant to be around.

When PP takes her kids to dinner, she splits the bill with them.

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Anonymous wrote:I have lots of friends that have retired. I am getting close. The middle class friends have seen their expenses drop assuming house paid for. Interestingly my UMC friends (sample of 3) all have had expenses stay the same or even increase -- also with house paid off. Why? They say spending more on travel than planned (1) Regularly visiting kids who do not live in this area, and (2) taking more vacation type trips. Also they say they spend a lot on kids when visiting. Not for everyone but that is their experience.

Bingo -- this is what I was thinking.
With kids in school we generally take 1 major vacation per year (summer), and sometimes some smaller trip during winter break.

If we were completely free, it would be awesome to take a trips 4-6 times per year. And since you don't need to "conserve vacation days" from work, you could actually do longer trips, where you could explore more. So I would think that travel expenses could definitely be higher than current.

+2. I don't expect expenses to decrease at all for several reasons: 1. health insurance costs until medicare kicks in 2. more "entertainment" costs such as traveling/hobbies 3. vacation as a family including kids/grandkids when they have families of their own. I also think that we may spend more than we currently do. Glad someone else spoke up.

Are you expecting to pay for all your adult kids and your grandkids? I think I'd expect my adult kids to pay their fair share if they're employed and have their own families.

Yes...I do pay for my adult kids and grandkids. My kids don't have the disposable income to travel the way we travel. What good is a pile of money of you can't share these wonderful experiences with the people you love most?

The pandemic was a blessing. Everyone working remote and school remote we did some travel of a lifetime as a family. Our kids could have never afforded the flights, nor the logistics of a trip with nobody to help with the kids during the day without out money and time.

My kids are lazy. I have no intention of paying for them and their families to vacation (!), with or without us.

Yeah, we're not desperate enough to pay the kids to spend time with us either... we raised them to pay their own way as responsible adults.

Yeah it is not about this. It is about letting them use their money to do other things.

You can rationalize it if you want, but you just prove my point. Your kids rather use their money to "do other things" instead of spending it on being with you.

NP. You are just being silly. They are teenagers or young adults, they probably do want to use their money for other things, so what? I'll bet her kids love her to bits.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lots of friends that have retired. I am getting close. The middle class friends have seen their expenses drop assuming house paid for. Interestingly my UMC friends (sample of 3) all have had expenses stay the same or even increase -- also with house paid off. Why? They say spending more on travel than planned (1) Regularly visiting kids who do not live in this area, and (2) taking more vacation type trips. Also they say they spend a lot on kids when visiting. Not for everyone but that is their experience.

Bingo -- this is what I was thinking.
With kids in school we generally take 1 major vacation per year (summer), and sometimes some smaller trip during winter break.

If we were completely free, it would be awesome to take a trips 4-6 times per year. And since you don't need to "conserve vacation days" from work, you could actually do longer trips, where you could explore more. So I would think that travel expenses could definitely be higher than current.

+2. I don't expect expenses to decrease at all for several reasons: 1. health insurance costs until medicare kicks in 2. more "entertainment" costs such as traveling/hobbies 3. vacation as a family including kids/grandkids when they have families of their own. I also think that we may spend more than we currently do. Glad someone else spoke up.

Are you expecting to pay for all your adult kids and your grandkids? I think I'd expect my adult kids to pay their fair share if they're employed and have their own families.

Yes...I do pay for my adult kids and grandkids. My kids don't have the disposable income to travel the way we travel. What good is a pile of money of you can't share these wonderful experiences with the people you love most?

The pandemic was a blessing. Everyone working remote and school remote we did some travel of a lifetime as a family. Our kids could have never afforded the flights, nor the logistics of a trip with nobody to help with the kids during the day without out money and time.

My kids are lazy. I have no intention of paying for them and their families to vacation (!), with or without us.

Yeah, we're not desperate enough to pay the kids to spend time with us either... we raised them to pay their own way as responsible adults.

Yeah it is not about this. It is about letting them use their money to do other things.

You can rationalize it if you want, but you just prove my point. Your kids rather use their money to "do other things" instead of spending it on being with you.

DP: Every couple of years my parents will pay for the majority of expenses for a big family get-together. It's important to them to get all the kids in one place at one time since we live all scattered about the US. It's hard enough to orchestrate our schedules to match it when they do plan and pay for it--I can't picture it happening otherwise. But their putting the money and planning into it reminds us of its importance to them and makes us make it happen. We're always glad when we do it (and there's still a lot of work/expenses involved in getting time off work, a dogsitter, travel costs of driving there if we don't fly.), but I can't see it happening otherwise. They tend to alternate where it's held so that people on one coast can easily drive and then they buy the flights for those on the other coast. They have the time and the money but I don't feel like it's them paying us to spend time with them--we go and visit when we can and pay for that. But it's about the only way they could reliably get everyone together at once. If they couldn't afford it and expressed to us that they wanted this to happen, we would probably make it happen but it's a big lift.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lots of friends that have retired. I am getting close. The middle class friends have seen their expenses drop assuming house paid for. Interestingly my UMC friends (sample of 3) all have had expenses stay the same or even increase -- also with house paid off. Why? They say spending more on travel than planned (1) Regularly visiting kids who do not live in this area, and (2) taking more vacation type trips. Also they say they spend a lot on kids when visiting. Not for everyone but that is their experience.

Bingo -- this is what I was thinking.
With kids in school we generally take 1 major vacation per year (summer), and sometimes some smaller trip during winter break.

If we were completely free, it would be awesome to take a trips 4-6 times per year. And since you don't need to "conserve vacation days" from work, you could actually do longer trips, where you could explore more. So I would think that travel expenses could definitely be higher than current.

+2. I don't expect expenses to decrease at all for several reasons: 1. health insurance costs until medicare kicks in 2. more "entertainment" costs such as traveling/hobbies 3. vacation as a family including kids/grandkids when they have families of their own. I also think that we may spend more than we currently do. Glad someone else spoke up.

Are you expecting to pay for all your adult kids and your grandkids? I think I'd expect my adult kids to pay their fair share if they're employed and have their own families.

Yes...I do pay for my adult kids and grandkids. My kids don't have the disposable income to travel the way we travel. What good is a pile of money of you can't share these wonderful experiences with the people you love most?

The pandemic was a blessing. Everyone working remote and school remote we did some travel of a lifetime as a family. Our kids could have never afforded the flights, nor the logistics of a trip with nobody to help with the kids during the day without out money and time.

My kids are lazy. I have no intention of paying for them and their families to vacation (!), with or without us.

Yeah, we're not desperate enough to pay the kids to spend time with us either... we raised them to pay their own way as responsible adults.

Yeah it is not about this. It is about letting them use their money to do other things.

You can rationalize it if you want, but you just prove my point. Your kids rather use their money to "do other things" instead of spending it on being with you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lots of friends that have retired. I am getting close. The middle class friends have seen their expenses drop assuming house paid for. Interestingly my UMC friends (sample of 3) all have had expenses stay the same or even increase -- also with house paid off. Why? They say spending more on travel than planned (1) Regularly visiting kids who do not live in this area, and (2) taking more vacation type trips. Also they say they spend a lot on kids when visiting. Not for everyone but that is their experience.

Bingo -- this is what I was thinking.
With kids in school we generally take 1 major vacation per year (summer), and sometimes some smaller trip during winter break.

If we were completely free, it would be awesome to take a trips 4-6 times per year. And since you don't need to "conserve vacation days" from work, you could actually do longer trips, where you could explore more. So I would think that travel expenses could definitely be higher than current.

+2. I don't expect expenses to decrease at all for several reasons: 1. health insurance costs until medicare kicks in 2. more "entertainment" costs such as traveling/hobbies 3. vacation as a family including kids/grandkids when they have families of their own. I also think that we may spend more than we currently do. Glad someone else spoke up.

Are you expecting to pay for all your adult kids and your grandkids? I think I'd expect my adult kids to pay their fair share if they're employed and have their own families.

Yes...I do pay for my adult kids and grandkids. My kids don't have the disposable income to travel the way we travel. What good is a pile of money of you can't share these wonderful experiences with the people you love most?

The pandemic was a blessing. Everyone working remote and school remote we did some travel of a lifetime as a family. Our kids could have never afforded the flights, nor the logistics of a trip with nobody to help with the kids during the day without out money and time.

My kids are lazy. I have no intention of paying for them and their families to vacation (!), with or without us.

Yeah, we're not desperate enough to pay the kids to spend time with us either... we raised them to pay their own way as responsible adults.

Yeah it is not about this. It is about letting them use their money to do other things.