Anonymous
Post 05/17/2020 19:13     Subject: Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends

Anonymous wrote:
Any updates OP?


Hi
We eventually agreed that she’d leave on weekends and use our car and stay with one friend who she believed was SIP
She came back a day later as she said everything was closed and there was nothing to do safely, she’d prefer to work and earn more
In the past she’s had a summer weekend job but I think this year she’ll just work with us
Anonymous
Post 05/10/2020 19:13     Subject: Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends


Any updates OP?
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2020 13:56     Subject: Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny in California and haven’t gone ANYWHERE except work for 49 days. No walks, no grocery stores, no friends, nothing. Unlike OP’s nanny, I actually care about the family who employs me and don’t want to do anything to put them at risk. Most nannies will be okay with a quarantine. Get a new one over 30 who has a brain and isn’t selfish.


Do you live with you employer and therefore have not had any time away from work for 6-7 weeks? I feel like the nanny would probably have an easier time of it if she lives in her own place and therefore had the freedom when she wasn’t working to do things like make a snack or start a new project without having her every move scrutinized by her employer. Given what OP described, it sounds like even what she can eat is regulated by her employer if she’s not allowed to go out and get her own groceries.


It sounds like you’re not familiar with a live-in dynamic. I live-in. I can be in the common areas anytime I want. Kids watch me to see if I’m getting anything they might want, but most of the time nobody notices.


I am familiar with the live-in dynamic, and there is a big difference between being allowed to be in the common area and having free use of the common area. There is a reason the nanny left to stay with friends every weekend before the started, and it’s because she does not like being in OP’s house when she’s not working.


To me, it sounded like she wasn’t being a considerate roommate/housemate. You don’t walk into the kitchen to fix spaghetti just before or after parents fix salad and fish for family dinner. As I said, I’m a live-in nanny, but I’m not a self-absorbed 20-something anymore (if ever).


What page did OP complain about the nanny making spaghetti? I missed that.


The young live-in nannies who leave most weekends are the ones that party or are inconsiderate housemates. Everyone keeps saying that this nanny isn’t a partier (which we don’t know). Well, if she’s not, she must be self-absorbed and inconsiderate of the family.


I was a live in for four years when I was young and left every single weekend and never partied ever. I left because the only space I had was my bedroom and it was with all the other bedrooms. Since I lived there the kids just saw me as part of the family and no matter how much their parents would tell them to leave me alone if I wasn't working, they didn't. I was way more 'fun' and energetic than their parents and they wanted to play. If I stayed, I either sat in my room with kids knocking asking when I was coming out or I was basically working. They were a lovely family and we all got along very well but it felt like a 7 day a week job where I was only paid for 5. It is also very socially restricting because I can't hang out with my friends. So my weekends were my chance to actually live like a young adult. I stayed with a friend who had two roommates and the four of us hung out all weekend. We would watch TV, go to concerts, go biking, stay up late talking, and just spend the weekend being a young 20 something. I didn't drink at the time so it wasn't to party at all and I wasn't inconsiderate - I just needed to have a life outside of being a nanny. Life with the family I worked for was very chaotic and hectic and I needed breaks from that. At the end of the day, it was still a job. It wasn't my life and it is actually a good and healthy thing to have a life outside of work. The idea that my employers own me and that I am selfish to have a life outside of work is a bizarre concept to me. They can tell me what to do as it relates to my job but they don't get to control my life or think that I shouldn't have a life outside of work. Thankfully my employers were completely on board with this and actually I think they also liked a break from me and just having the house to themselves as well. They wouldn't have wanted to live at their jobs 24/7 and they got why I didn't either.


OP has said her nanny has her own space with a private entrance.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2020 13:50     Subject: Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny in California and haven’t gone ANYWHERE except work for 49 days. No walks, no grocery stores, no friends, nothing. Unlike OP’s nanny, I actually care about the family who employs me and don’t want to do anything to put them at risk. Most nannies will be okay with a quarantine. Get a new one over 30 who has a brain and isn’t selfish.


Do you live with you employer and therefore have not had any time away from work for 6-7 weeks? I feel like the nanny would probably have an easier time of it if she lives in her own place and therefore had the freedom when she wasn’t working to do things like make a snack or start a new project without having her every move scrutinized by her employer. Given what OP described, it sounds like even what she can eat is regulated by her employer if she’s not allowed to go out and get her own groceries.


It sounds like you’re not familiar with a live-in dynamic. I live-in. I can be in the common areas anytime I want. Kids watch me to see if I’m getting anything they might want, but most of the time nobody notices.


OP - similar dynamic for us, we’re busy in the evenings and often away on the weekends so our nanny just does her own thing