Anonymous wrote:Oh FFS, this is hardly the end of the world. Most people posting on this forum are average intelligence and are in their current position because of their parents. Their parents likely provided opportunities and stressed hard work and education. I know investment bankers, lawyers, pharma salesmen,and builders who are quite skilled, yet are average in intelligence. Guess what? They all do just fine! This idea that you have to take a certain route is just BS. Everyone has different priorities, which can vary drastically from their parents. I also know several people who are former military (SF, infantry, etc) and they make around 150k, which isn't too shabby. And oh yeah, my cardiologist is former Army and I think he is prob doing ok! And God forbid if your kid decides to be a cop and only makes 70k!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:can you give examples? As to why you think she's not bright? I have a PhD and my DH jokes that I do things which are retarded sometimes.

She has a hard time retaining information, needs lots of repetition, comes across as flighty, works very slowly, and has a very difficult time breaking tasks down into chunks (which in and of itself might not have to do with intelligence).

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you have a very limited view of the world if this is your fear. There are lots of jobs and lots of ways to live a happy life that don't involve a top tier 4 year college.

If her teachers are always worried about her, take her for a full evaluation with a private psychologist. She may ADHD or a learning disability and interventions for those can be really helpful. Also, you need some support and education yourself. It will be unbelievable harmful to your daughter if she ever understands that you sit around thinking about her in this way. "a person like her." Seriously, get a grip.

This really isn't so much about grades or a top tier college. Or even necessarily college at all. My absolute biggest fear is that she will not be able to hold down a job. It's difficult to explain, but it's not just that she struggles in school. She is impacted in ways that make it really hard for me to imagine her being a good employee. I can see her being able to hold down a job such as a daycare worker, but that is not a livable income. She doesn't need to make a lot, but I would like to hope that she can hold down a job where she is at least capable of supporting herself.

If you believe that she would be good/enjoy working as a daycare worker or preschool teacher, maybe she would do well in early childhood education or as a kindergarten/first grade teacher or instructional aide - maybe encourage her to look at one of those careers in the long run?

NP. My DD has average intelligence but LDs in math and language processing. She is phenomenal with kids, though, and had hoped to be a kindergarten or first grade teacher as they earn more than preschool teachers. She has done great in college early childhood education classes but to move on to the last two years you need to pass standardized tests, for which the passing score has been made higher in recent years, and she can’t pass them. It’s sad because she doesn’t need to be proficient in algebra 2 to teach addition and subtraction to kindergarteners, but despite a tutor she’s not not able to pass the test. She’s now rethinking her career path.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you have a very limited view of the world if this is your fear. There are lots of jobs and lots of ways to live a happy life that don't involve a top tier 4 year college.

If her teachers are always worried about her, take her for a full evaluation with a private psychologist. She may ADHD or a learning disability and interventions for those can be really helpful. Also, you need some support and education yourself. It will be unbelievable harmful to your daughter if she ever understands that you sit around thinking about her in this way. "a person like her." Seriously, get a grip.

This really isn't so much about grades or a top tier college. Or even necessarily college at all. My absolute biggest fear is that she will not be able to hold down a job. It's difficult to explain, but it's not just that she struggles in school. She is impacted in ways that make it really hard for me to imagine her being a good employee. I can see her being able to hold down a job such as a daycare worker, but that is not a livable income. She doesn't need to make a lot, but I would like to hope that she can hold down a job where she is at least capable of supporting herself.

If you believe that she would be good/enjoy working as a daycare worker or preschool teacher, maybe she would do well in early childhood education or as a kindergarten/first grade teacher or instructional aide - maybe encourage her to look at one of those careers in the long run?

If she gets her undergraduate in early childhood education but does not pass the Praxis, could she teach in a private school?

NP. My DD has average intelligence but LDs in math and language processing. She is phenomenal with kids, though, and had hoped to be a kindergarten or first grade teacher as they earn more than preschool teachers. She has done great in college early childhood education classes but to move on to the last two years you need to pass standardized tests, for which the passing score has been made higher in recent years, and she can’t pass them. It’s sad because she doesn’t need to be proficient in algebra 2 to teach addition and subtraction to kindergarteners, but despite a tutor she’s not not able to pass the test. She’s now rethinking her career path.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the poster who wrote:

Hi OP - I want to thank you for writing this. My 16yr old DS is similar to your DD. very average IQ, very slow processing. He also has a diagnosis of ADHD. I spend many sleepless nights wondering if he will ever be able to get a job, or even live on his own. I want to add though that I have the tendency to freak out about stuff, and have a very "glass half empty" attitude. DH thinks I'm being totally ridiculous. I am however resigned to the fact that he will likely go to community college first, and perhaps 4 yr after that. More than likely he will go to some type of trade school. He's very charming and handsome, but also socially awkward - which happens a lot with ADHD kids.

No, no, no!!! Please believe me that CC is not the answer. He will get no support as they are not set up that way given the size and open door admissions. You have to be really mature and motivated to make it in a CC. ( I was an adjunct)

A small college ( if ds wants to go.) They have an office of special services , all do, but they will get to know him and they know add issues.

He can get to know his professors in a small school and they will work with him.

You say he’s charming... he can study marketing, real estate is a Major now, business, etc so that he can work in sales, marketing.

Please don’t write him off or compare to all the high flying students around you - I know our neighborhoods of full of them!

He will be okay if he has your “ light “ help now, and then a good small liberal arts school to develop in to the young man he can be.

He was my son a few years ago. Sending good thoughts!!!

This is PP who you quoted. Thank you so much for writing this - it means more to me than you can ever imagine. I truly thought CC/trade school was his only option, which breaks my heart because he speaks almost daily about "when he goes to college", as in a 4-yr school. I haven't had the heart to tell him "sorry buddy, looks like you're headed to community college". It would literally smash he dreams. I'm going to research schools with an open admission policy right now - thank you!!

They won't say they are open admission but they are if you are a c high school student. Mt. Saint Mary and Marymount are two in the area. To the poster that said they are expensive - they really aren't that much more expensive than 1st teir public schools (if you get in as a freshment, there are big scolarships for most students). But I will also say that supporting a learning disabled child is more expensive. We go to public middle school but pay 8,000 a year for private tutors for reading since my daughter has dsylexia. And while it is not teh cheapest route, it is probably less expensive in the long run than flunking out of CC and not getting a degree. A caveat to that would be the trade school route or a trade focused AA degree from a community college - that would be cheaper, but it would also depends on the child's interest. But I think college is an social and cultural and intellectural experience worth having beyond vocational potentional.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you have a very limited view of the world if this is your fear. There are lots of jobs and lots of ways to live a happy life that don't involve a top tier 4 year college.

If her teachers are always worried about her, take her for a full evaluation with a private psychologist. She may ADHD or a learning disability and interventions for those can be really helpful. Also, you need some support and education yourself. It will be unbelievable harmful to your daughter if she ever understands that you sit around thinking about her in this way. "a person like her." Seriously, get a grip.

This really isn't so much about grades or a top tier college. Or even necessarily college at all. My absolute biggest fear is that she will not be able to hold down a job. It's difficult to explain, but it's not just that she struggles in school. She is impacted in ways that make it really hard for me to imagine her being a good employee. I can see her being able to hold down a job such as a daycare worker, but that is not a livable income. She doesn't need to make a lot, but I would like to hope that she can hold down a job where she is at least capable of supporting herself.

If you believe that she would be good/enjoy working as a daycare worker or preschool teacher, maybe she would do well in early childhood education or as a kindergarten/first grade teacher or instructional aide - maybe encourage her to look at one of those careers in the long run?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you have a very limited view of the world if this is your fear. There are lots of jobs and lots of ways to live a happy life that don't involve a top tier 4 year college.

If her teachers are always worried about her, take her for a full evaluation with a private psychologist. She may ADHD or a learning disability and interventions for those can be really helpful. Also, you need some support and education yourself. It will be unbelievable harmful to your daughter if she ever understands that you sit around thinking about her in this way. "a person like her." Seriously, get a grip.

This really isn't so much about grades or a top tier college. Or even necessarily college at all. My absolute biggest fear is that she will not be able to hold down a job. It's difficult to explain, but it's not just that she struggles in school. She is impacted in ways that make it really hard for me to imagine her being a good employee. I can see her being able to hold down a job such as a daycare worker, but that is not a livable income. She doesn't need to make a lot, but I would like to hope that she can hold down a job where she is at least capable of supporting herself.

Anonymous wrote:wow, you just sound very disappointed in your child. I have one extremely smart child and one that will be just fine but won't go to any Ivy League schools for sure. So what?! He will do something with his life and if he is happy, I am happy for him. Why stress about this, you sound insecure.