Anonymous wrote:I'm the room parent at a public school. I end up paying for most of the food for kids' parties. We don't get pizza for parties, but it takes a lot of effort to put together a table of healthy food for these parties.

Before the holidays, I asked parents to vote to decide if they wanted to have a group class gift, then 1/2 backed out at the last minute, so I end up fronting 100s of dollars for that (instead of the 20 per family).

I have a serious illness and I lost my job this year (I have a temporary, lower paying one now). I still did the right thing.

I have no sympathy for the shirkers who don't even give a thought to the burden they're placing on a VOLUNTEER who is trying to make sure things are nice for all their kids and the teacher who takes care of them 8 hours a day.

Do better shirkers.

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Anonymous wrote:Maybe some families are struggling and don’t feel it’s prudent to contribute to such non-essential nonsense. You do you.

Our school dictates the parties. I don’t care if you donate but yes, we see your the biggest house in the neighborhood and drive the fanciest new car and then scream poverty over donating some napkins from dollar tree. Your kids will have fun and be treated the same either way.

Your school tells you that there needs to be a party, or that it needs to have pizza and fancy napkins?

And is it the school or the PTA?

School dictates it. Dollar tree is fancy? A few $5 pizzas is fancy.

27 $5 pizzas to be precise.

Most schools have free paper towels that work just fine to put a cupcake on. So yes. Judging a parent because they won’t make a special run to a special store is absurd. I am happy to have my kid eat off the school paper towels. I am happy to send you 30 napkins from the stack in my kitchen. If you are not happy to have those napkins in your pictures then please purchase them yourself.

I am a parent who contributes to the school. My kid’s teacher know that. I don’t need PTA mom to validate me.

If you don't want to give or have your child participate you can opt out. Most people grocery shop once a week. Is it really that hard or send in a few dollars? Our PTA has nothing to do with classroom parties. We don't always have basics at our school like paper towels or soap.

Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

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Anonymous wrote:I'd be fine with no class parties.

I'd contribute. I wouldn't want to be one who didn't contribute
But most of the parties/extras that Room Moms think are so important, aren't.

No, our school mandates it and no one volunteers because of how stingy the other families are and then some of us get recruited after saying no.

Anonymous wrote:Because my kids have food allergies and can't eat the party food.

Because I generally think class parties are completely useless and a waste of time.

I don't recall having class parties as a kid (other than Valentine's boxes) and have no idea why every tiny thing has to be celebrated with a party and food.

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Anonymous wrote:I've seen it done where they charge $5 for 2 slices of pizza, if you don't pay, your kid doesn't get it. You then say if there is a hardship, email you and the kid will be given free pizza, with nobody knowing money wasn't given, BUT if they don't contact you the kid will NOT get pizza. That way you don't discriminate against those with financial issues. The money can cover some snacks at the party, teacher gifts, etc. For party decor, reuse what you have, have your kids make stuff-paper snowmen and snowflakes, hearts or whatever, but don't waste money. Have parents donate treats and beverages.

That is a horrible thing to do to a child to say, parents pay, or you don't eat. And, $5 for 2 slices is way to much.

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Anonymous wrote:OP, that’s not what we said at all. Just do a signup genius! No need to demand cash from parents ever. We have great fun parties with just sign up genius and room mom doesn’t need to go broke.

And if parents do not sign up for SignUp Genius, you can send out an email saying that the party will get cancelled due to lack of participation. I think this is a better way to engage parents.

That doesn't work. And, our teacher tried that and my child came home really upset. We were happy to donate what ever was needed and did. Problem solved. You don't do that to kids. If no one signs up, room parent can do cupcakes or cookies and bottled water. Or, they can do more. We've done it a variety of ways. Usually you can get 4-5 parents to sign up for the absolute basics and the room parent fills in.

Pfft. Its ok for the snowflakes to be upset once in a while.

Why? You don't promise a party and then don't come through. If you don't want to do the work or pay for it, then why do you care what others do? The kids really enjoy the parties so I'm happy to do it.

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Anonymous wrote:OP, that’s not what we said at all. Just do a signup genius! No need to demand cash from parents ever. We have great fun parties with just sign up genius and room mom doesn’t need to go broke.

And if parents do not sign up for SignUp Genius, you can send out an email saying that the party will get cancelled due to lack of participation. I think this is a better way to engage parents.

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Anonymous wrote:At our elementary in Bethesda we were asked to donate $20-25 per child at the beginning of the year. We ended up getting around $400. We sent a few emails to collect funds in the first month of school and offered paypal and venmo as payment options.

We spent $75 on the Halloween party and have budgeted $60 each for the Valentine's day and end of year parties. Plus spent $100 on the class holiday gift and will spend another $100 on teacher appreciation week.

The food at the halloween party was fruit, juice, water, popcorn/pretzels and mini cupcakes. We had games, decorations and prizes.

I'm detailing all of this to say that even at a school of upper middle class families, there is not a huge budget for these events and we're definitely not ordering pizza.

Its how you choose to spend the money. You could easily do pizza and a desert on $75. I don't get where the $75 went if you only had fruit, juice, water, popcorn/pretzels and mini cupcakes. You don't need juice. You can easily do pizza, desert, bottled water (or none if kids have water bottles), and fruit for $75.

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Anonymous wrote:OP, that’s not what we said at all. Just do a signup genius! No need to demand cash from parents ever. We have great fun parties with just sign up genius and room mom doesn’t need to go broke.

And if parents do not sign up for SignUp Genius, you can send out an email saying that the party will get cancelled due to lack of participation. I think this is a better way to engage parents.

That doesn't work. And, our teacher tried that and my child came home really upset. We were happy to donate what ever was needed and did. Problem solved. You don't do that to kids. If no one signs up, room parent can do cupcakes or cookies and bottled water. Or, they can do more. We've done it a variety of ways. Usually you can get 4-5 parents to sign up for the absolute basics and the room parent fills in.

Pfft. Its ok for the snowflakes to be upset once in a while.

Anonymous wrote:At our elementary in Bethesda we were asked to donate $20-25 per child at the beginning of the year. We ended up getting around $400. We sent a few emails to collect funds in the first month of school and offered paypal and venmo as payment options.

We spent $75 on the Halloween party and have budgeted $60 each for the Valentine's day and end of year parties. Plus spent $100 on the class holiday gift and will spend another $100 on teacher appreciation week.

The food at the halloween party was fruit, juice, water, popcorn/pretzels and mini cupcakes. We had games, decorations and prizes.

I'm detailing all of this to say that even at a school of upper middle class families, there is not a huge budget for these events and we're definitely not ordering pizza.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, that’s not what we said at all. Just do a signup genius! No need to demand cash from parents ever. We have great fun parties with just sign up genius and room mom doesn’t need to go broke.

And if parents do not sign up for SignUp Genius, you can send out an email saying that the party will get cancelled due to lack of participation. I think this is a better way to engage parents.

That doesn't work. And, our teacher tried that and my child came home really upset. We were happy to donate what ever was needed and did. Problem solved. You don't do that to kids. If no one signs up, room parent can do cupcakes or cookies and bottled water. Or, they can do more. We've done it a variety of ways. Usually you can get 4-5 parents to sign up for the absolute basics and the room parent fills in.