Anonymous
11/27/2018 07:57
Subject: Man wanting to dance with daughter
Anonymous wrote:OP, I bet this man has raped people. I am sure that if his DNA was sampled, it would flash on many crime specimens across the country.
You have to be a troll.
Anonymous
11/27/2018 07:51
Subject: Man wanting to dance with daughter
OP -- first, you did the right thing.
Second -- have you talked to your daughter about this since? That is a frank and open conversation that you need to have with her. Speaking as a former tween/teen girl -- this is not the first time this will happen to her. I think it's important to have ongoing clear conversations about (a) that fact that what the guy did to her is not okay; (b) strategies that she can use if someone should try that again. Speaking up loudly, looking for allies in the situation, a swift kick in the shins, if required.
Second -- have you talked to your daughter about this since? That is a frank and open conversation that you need to have with her. Speaking as a former tween/teen girl -- this is not the first time this will happen to her. I think it's important to have ongoing clear conversations about (a) that fact that what the guy did to her is not okay; (b) strategies that she can use if someone should try that again. Speaking up loudly, looking for allies in the situation, a swift kick in the shins, if required.
Anonymous
11/26/2018 22:35
Subject: Man wanting to dance with daughter
OP, I bet this man has raped people. I am sure that if his DNA was sampled, it would flash on many crime specimens across the country.
Anonymous
11/26/2018 21:08
Subject: Man wanting to dance with daughter
Holy crap, maybe I didn't read enough of the 16 pages of comments and responses, but I think the word "drunk" was in the OP, and the part about "grabbed her arm..and...wouldn't take no for an answer'....ONCE, as per some pretty vague context details...
...but...maybe someone can clue me in about the likely psychology that tends to
...but...maybe someone can clue me in about the likely psychology that tends to
Anonymous
11/15/2018 12:29
Subject: Man wanting to dance with daughter
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
PP here, I AM a lawyer—a prosecutor actually—and in my state you are 109%, absolutely wrong about the man who touched the child (no charges would be approved on that) and OP would face assault charges, though likely not aggravated.
If you are a prosecutor, then you obviously know a lot more about this than I do, but when I look at actual DC code, none of this behavior seems to rise to the definition of what seems to be the relevant law (§ 22–404. Assault or threatened assault in a menacing manner; stalking. https://code.dccouncil.us/dc/council/code/sections/22-404.html), which seems to cover a threat "in a menacing manner" or causing "serious bodily harm" (i.e. requiring medical treatment). Seems to me that threatening to hold on to someone unless they dance with you is probably not quite threatening "in a menacing manner." Pushing someone so that they fall but don't require any kind of treatment also doesn't seem to have "intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly cause[d] significant bodily injury to another."
With that in mind, what you're saying is that a state's attorney would NOT charge a drunk guy who grabbed an 11 year old girl and said "I won't let you go unless you dance with me" and kept holding on after she asked him to let her go, but they WOULD take to a jury a case against a father protecting an 11 year old daughter that resulted in no serious bodily harm? As a prosecutor, how often would you expect to get a unanimous verdict in a case like that?
Yes.
1) in my state (PA) “serious” bodily harm isn’t necessary. An attempt at any bodily harm is sufficient. So yes dad could be charged.
2) you never know with juries, but what dad did is not an appropriate and reasonable response, so I would not be afraid to take it to trial. All the people throwing around the words “restraint” and “assault” and “for his pleasure” with regard to the drunk guy/kid contact are delusional. You can mama bear or papa bear all you want but that doesn’t make it right under the law.
Anonymous
11/15/2018 10:05
Subject: Man wanting to dance with daughter
Anonymous wrote:
PP here, I AM a lawyer—a prosecutor actually—and in my state you are 109%, absolutely wrong about the man who touched the child (no charges would be approved on that) and OP would face assault charges, though likely not aggravated.
If you are a prosecutor, then you obviously know a lot more about this than I do, but when I look at actual DC code, none of this behavior seems to rise to the definition of what seems to be the relevant law (§ 22–404. Assault or threatened assault in a menacing manner; stalking. https://code.dccouncil.us/dc/council/code/sections/22-404.html), which seems to cover a threat "in a menacing manner" or causing "serious bodily harm" (i.e. requiring medical treatment). Seems to me that threatening to hold on to someone unless they dance with you is probably not quite threatening "in a menacing manner." Pushing someone so that they fall but don't require any kind of treatment also doesn't seem to have "intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly cause[d] significant bodily injury to another."
With that in mind, what you're saying is that a state's attorney would NOT charge a drunk guy who grabbed an 11 year old girl and said "I won't let you go unless you dance with me" and kept holding on after she asked him to let her go, but they WOULD take to a jury a case against a father protecting an 11 year old daughter that resulted in no serious bodily harm? As a prosecutor, how often would you expect to get a unanimous verdict in a case like that?
Anonymous
11/15/2018 09:28
Subject: Man wanting to dance with daughter
Why is this thread still going??
Anonymous
11/15/2018 08:52
Subject: Man wanting to dance with daughter
OP, you reacted as a mama bear and that’s okay. The man should not have been touching your child.
Now, tman could have been well-intentioned, but he definitely overstepped. Hopefully he has learned a lesson and will not do such a thing again.
If you’ve lost friends over this, they were probably not your real friends in the first place.
Now, tman could have been well-intentioned, but he definitely overstepped. Hopefully he has learned a lesson and will not do such a thing again.
If you’ve lost friends over this, they were probably not your real friends in the first place.
Anonymous
11/15/2018 03:47
Subject: Re:Man wanting to dance with daughter
Anonymous wrote:PP here, I AM a lawyer—a prosecutor actually—and in my state you are 109%, absolutely wrong about the man who touched the child (no charges would be approved on that) and OP would face assault charges, though likely not aggravated.
And as as NP and another lawyer, you are full of it. Technically, both committed assault, but chances of either being prosecuted are 0%.
Do you practice criminal law? Criminal assault is not any unwanted touch. Stop spreading false information.
Anonymous
11/14/2018 22:30
Subject: Re:Man wanting to dance with daughter
Anonymous wrote:Mom, you did the right thing!
Op is not a woman, therefore not a mom. Good job DAD
Anonymous
11/14/2018 22:29
Subject: Man wanting to dance with daughter
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm in the minority, but I do think you overreacted a bit. Sounds like he was drunk and being foolish/overly friendly. I would have simply placed myself between him and her, and said she doesn't want to dance, thanks anyway. If he didn't back off at that point, I might have pushed him though!
I agree with you. I think OP over reacted. Pushing him and yelling at him? Way to cause a scene and probably not be invited to future parties.
Who cares about future parties?
The drunk guy didn’t take no for an answer. He stepped over the line when he grabbed the child’s arm. How, exactly, is that EVER okay?
One of the men should have stepped forward and schooled the guy - I’d be disappointed that this didn’t happen.
Since it didn’t - yes, he needed correcting.
Why are you seeking group approval though? Do the job and move on, woman. Don’t be insecure.
Your daughter learned a good lesson here too.
Op is the dad.