Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes they do!!! I used to be able to buy plain socks, generic tees, etc. Now they want brands, even for socks. Also, their toys are more expensive. My daughter wants a sewing machine for her birthday. My son wants a Nintendo Switch (I think that's what it's called). Going out to dinner, they don't want the kid's menu, they eat more and want to try new things all the time. Their activities are also more expensive because they want certain academies which are better than others. My son swims which is very expensive and this year he asked to attend clinics to improve his technique.

Nothing that you are describing is a necessity. Sure they need socks, but when you're wearing shoes who the hell even sees the socks? You can find a perfectly good used sewing machine on ebay or craigslist. However, decent childcare is a must. As for going out to dinner, that's also a nice thing to do not a necessity. You can easily get an oven roasted chicken at Costco for $4.

DP. Your argument is a bit archaic. So, we are to sew socks for teens now? Deny your kids going to eat with their friends once in a while? Have them go to school in rags? Feed them only cheap chicken from Costco? You do all that for your toddlers? Why is "decent" childcare a must then? Define decent. Grandma sent me out to orchard to play with my cousin at 3 years old, didn't cost her anything. Try feeding teen sons and then get back to us in 10-13 years. Or him and his friends, since no money for Chipotle so have them come to your place, right? How about raising your teens on the cheap and them not having any friends. I think all these pps with young kids, ought to come back here in 12 years and give us their honest opinion. Comparing apples to oranges. Now if you live on a farm in the sticks and not in the capital....

I think PP meant that the sewing machine the PP's daughter wanted could be bought cheaply on Ebay, not that they would sew socks. Separately, PP was saying that brand name socks are not necessary.

Depends on how you slice and dice it. We had NO money leftover to save for college. The second they were out of daycare that money, to the penny shifted into college savings. On top of that there was all the other things people have mentioned that come with older kids. For 2 kids, we are saving at a clip of 26k/yr just for education and still have some basic after care costs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes they do!!! I used to be able to buy plain socks, generic tees, etc. Now they want brands, even for socks. Also, their toys are more expensive. My daughter wants a sewing machine for her birthday. My son wants a Nintendo Switch (I think that's what it's called). Going out to dinner, they don't want the kid's menu, they eat more and want to try new things all the time. Their activities are also more expensive because they want certain academies which are better than others. My son swims which is very expensive and this year he asked to attend clinics to improve his technique.

Nothing that you are describing is a necessity. Sure they need socks, but when you're wearing shoes who the hell even sees the socks? You can find a perfectly good used sewing machine on ebay or craigslist. However, decent childcare is a must. As for going out to dinner, that's also a nice thing to do not a necessity. You can easily get an oven roasted chicken at Costco for $4.

DP. Your argument is a bit archaic. So, we are to sew socks for teens now? Deny your kids going to eat with their friends once in a while? Have them go to school in rags? Feed them only cheap chicken from Costco? You do all that for your toddlers? Why is "decent" childcare a must then? Define decent. Grandma sent me out to orchard to play with my cousin at 3 years old, didn't cost her anything. Try feeding teen sons and then get back to us in 10-13 years. Or him and his friends, since no money for Chipotle so have them come to your place, right? How about raising your teens on the cheap and them not having any friends. I think all these pps with young kids, ought to come back here in 12 years and give us their honest opinion. Comparing apples to oranges. Now if you live on a farm in the sticks and not in the capital....

My son has gotten cheaper every year since he was born. At 6, the only big expense is rec sports (which is pretty trivial).

The $1000/month we were paying for preschool now gets split (half college, half retirement). It's a nice cushion.

Anonymous wrote:Yes they do!!! I used to be able to buy plain socks, generic tees, etc. Now they want brands, even for socks. Also, their toys are more expensive. My daughter wants a sewing machine for her birthday. My son wants a Nintendo Switch (I think that's what it's called). Going out to dinner, they don't want the kid's menu, they eat more and want to try new things all the time. Their activities are also more expensive because they want certain academies which are better than others. My son swims which is very expensive and this year he asked to attend clinics to improve his technique.

Nothing that you are describing is a necessity. Sure they need socks, but when you're wearing shoes who the hell even sees the socks? You can find a perfectly good used sewing machine on ebay or craigslist. However, decent childcare is a must. As for going out to dinner, that's also a nice thing to do not a necessity. You can easily get an oven roasted chicken at Costco for $4.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:College costs dwarf all your daycare costs. Paying for college is not mandatory, but working for the first four years of your kid's live isn't mandatory either.

If you planned ahead before you had kids, you wouldn't have to pay for daycare.

You're right that college generally costs more than daycare. But "dwarf?" Not so sure.

Our kids' daycare in DC was $21k per year. It was cheaper than most friends I knew, but I haven't done an exhaustive study. UMD is like $25k/year and UVA costs like $30k per year, right?

NP here and I would add that those college costs you're presenting are total cost of attendance which includes room and board and books. To do a true apples to apples comparison you'd have to add the cost of housing and feeding your younger child to the daycare costs.

I suppose maybe these kids were not in full time daycare?
My kids certainly got more expensive. One was in private school, sure, our choice, but with his SN we felt it was more of a necessity. And kid who was into a sport, on his own, actually criticized me for not pushing him when he was 6,7 when he realized his friends were training non stop at that age. That sport is incredibly expensive, but he loves, loves it....And DD also in a sport, but a cheaper one. I so wish my kids played piano like I did, I have a piano and no matter how many lessons, still cheaper than the stupid sports(ok stupid to me, not to them, so I bite my tongue.) So, yes, my teens are ridiculously expensive, but I could have said no to their sports. I just felt since they are pushing for it, and not me or DH, better that than video games all day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep reading this on this forum and am a bit perplexed. I mean how can it be more than daycare? Are the kids just in a ton of activities? We pay 1200 per month and I just can't imagine how something else will eat up that amount per month like daycare! What am I missing? Clothing we spend about $50-75 every 4 to 5 months buying a mix of new and used at consigments.

I can't speak for other people but, when my kid was three she didn't need therapy, or social skills group, speech lessons, tutoring, testing for disabilities and ADHD, Aspergers, Not to mention camps, piano, horsebackriding camps etc etc.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think they're talking about aftercare and summer camps.

And sports and music lessons and academic tutoring...

here is mine:
tennis lesson 1 hour a week: $90
golf lesson 1 hour a week: $100
piano lesson 1 hour a week: $90
private tutoring 2 hours a week: $190

That adds up to $470/week = 1880/month

On top of 43k/year for Sidwell private school.

Is that expensive enough for you?

You are totally right that kids are very expensive if you buy all sorts of very expensive things for them.

Anonymous wrote:College costs dwarf all your daycare costs. Paying for college is not mandatory, but working for the first four years of your kid's live isn't mandatory either.

If you planned ahead before you had kids, you wouldn't have to pay for daycare.

You're right that college generally costs more than daycare. But "dwarf?" Not so sure.

Our kids' daycare in DC was $21k per year. It was cheaper than most friends I knew, but I haven't done an exhaustive study. UMD is like $25k/year and UVA costs like $30k per year, right?

Anonymous wrote:I keep reading this on this forum and am a bit perplexed. I mean how can it be more than daycare? Are the kids just in a ton of activities? We pay 1200 per month and I just can't imagine how something else will eat up that amount per month like daycare! What am I missing? Clothing we spend about $50-75 every 4 to 5 months buying a mix of new and used at consigments.

I can't speak for other people but, when my kid was three she didn't need therapy, or social skills group, speech lessons, tutoring, testing for disabilities and ADHD, Aspergers, Not to mention camps, piano, horsebackriding camps etc etc.

Kids are 7 and 9 and it’s definitely not as expensive as the daycare years, but we cut corners to make that so. We limit aftercare, but that requires a lot of juggling. We are mindful of spending on activities, which can add up quickly (no music lessons, though I would love to do that for them and same with skiing). We splurge on two weeks of a nice camp but do a shared sitter the rest of the summer. We rarely go out to eat. They wear hand-me-downs and beat up sneakers. We rarely do expensive activities like pottery painting, trampoline parks, movies out, plays, airplane travel.

If we did those things with abandon, it could easily add up (and if I had more money, I probably would do all those things!). The thing is, those are decisions you have control over. High-quality daycare was not something optional for me, so those years were very financially taxing for us. Now we divert that extra money to college savings though, so between that and all the above, we still feel pinched.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think they're talking about aftercare and summer camps.

And sports and music lessons and academic tutoring...

here is mine:
tennis lesson 1 hour a week: $90
golf lesson 1 hour a week: $100
piano lesson 1 hour a week: $90
private tutoring 2 hours a week: $190

That adds up to $470/week = 1880/month

On top of 43k/year for Sidwell private school.

Is that expensive enough for you?

You realize this is extreme right? RIGHT?

Or maybe you don't.

and as others have said, totally optional! Unlike daycare and diapers, if you're not staying home.