Also OP - I hate to cook. But I WOH and our nanny cooks for everyone. I think you need to figure out some way to get a real meal on the table for the whole family whether or not you cook it. It's not going to work to be "independent" about meals for much longer at all.

OP - I didn't read all the responses so this may have been said but your DS is going to need a real meal REALLY soon. Well before he is school age. In fact at that age my little one was pretty much eating what we ate for dinner. I learned to do that the hard way because we fed my older one deconstructed meals for too long and of course now he'll try to demand mac and cheese or PBJ for every meal and turn his nose up at everything else - but that is a story for another day. I think meal prep is about to become part of your "mom" job description whether or not you want it to be part of your "wife" or "at home parent" job. So at that point is it so hard to make enough to feed everyone? At the very least, taking DS to the grocery store can pretty easily be part of your day. You sit him in the cart, talk to him about everything you are doing, show him what you are buying, and task him with putting things in the cart (my DS's favorite part) so you are still "focusing"' on your son.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I WOH FT. I pick my kid up at daycare, go home, bathe him, then make dinner. My husband shows up about the time dinner is getting on the table.

On the weekends, I cook dinner while my toddler is napping. What do you do while your baby naps, OP?

For AM nap, I shower, get dressed, make bed, wipe down high chair, vacuum DS breakfast mess, empty the dishwasher, load any bottles/dirty dishes, gather up dirty diapers and take out trash, put away laundry from night before and get a new load started, wipe down master bath (just a quick swish and swipe of toilet and sink) and powder room, reset the diaper bag for an outing (replenish snacks,clothes,diapers-throw out any trash/dirty clothes etc), put away DS's toys. For PM nap, I check email, mail, deal with any bills or paperwork, maybe call my mom, then I have about 30 mins to myself, where I could ostensibly prepare a meal.

All of these things are done EVERY DAY?

Of course not, unless op is the most inefficient person on earth (which based on this thread is a distinct possibility). She could've grocery shopped, gone to my house and cooked a nice meal in the amount of time she's been posting on here just today. Unbelievable. Where is that kid you're taking care of so devotedly, OP?

Interesting thread. Haven't read all of it, but it sounds like OP keeps a clean house but dislikes cooking. When I was a SAHM, my house was a disaster, but we had nice home cooked meals every night. But that is because I like to cook, and hate to clean. if I had cleaned the whole house everyday like OP, I would have gotten pretty resentful. So my DH did more than 50% of the cleaning (he's good at this) and we got a cleaner for the rest. So OP is the opposite. Big deal!

Everyone has things they like and don't like. The priority is your kid, which is what it is for OP. I agree with the plan of PP who suggested your spouse make dinner the night before. This is actually what I do now (after kids have slept) just to make things easier. Works out beautifully. And DH still does most of the cleaning.

My mother in law has given me a lot of bad advice but one piece of good advice she gave me was that it's perfectly fine to have a MOnday meal, a Tuesday meal, etc. so that everybody knows that on Wednesday nights you have spaghetti, Thursday nights you have pork chops, etc. When our kids were little, the Friday meal was pizza which we ordered, and one night was rotisserie chicken with french bread and bagged salad, which only leaves three nights. I also hate to cook and am bad at it, but even I could manage a Monday stir-fry, Tuesday spaghetti and pork chops once a week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I WOH FT. I pick my kid up at daycare, go home, bathe him, then make dinner. My husband shows up about the time dinner is getting on the table.

On the weekends, I cook dinner while my toddler is napping. What do you do while your baby naps, OP?

For AM nap, I shower, get dressed, make bed, wipe down high chair, vacuum DS breakfast mess, empty the dishwasher, load any bottles/dirty dishes, gather up dirty diapers and take out trash, put away laundry from night before and get a new load started, wipe down master bath (just a quick swish and swipe of toilet and sink) and powder room, reset the diaper bag for an outing (replenish snacks,clothes,diapers-throw out any trash/dirty clothes etc), put away DS's toys. For PM nap, I check email, mail, deal with any bills or paperwork, maybe call my mom, then I have about 30 mins to myself, where I could ostensibly prepare a meal.

All of these things are done EVERY DAY?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lawyer mom is a fake. No lawyer would write that crappily.

New phone impossible to type on and awful autocorrect. I know I look like a 12 yr old lol.

And to some PPs comments, I say this - whatever you can afford.

If OP can afford to eat out or carryout dinner everyday, ok. But I'd leave her if I was DH.

But if there's like NO FOOD option, like there's a Coke in the fridge and cheese, that is definitely neglect or abuse as far as I'm concerned.

I agree with you lawyer mom. I think OP is the crazy one. I'm worried about these poor malnourished kids. Hopefully it's a baby that's still on formula.

I don't think a SAHM has to have an elaborate meal for dinner. But, yes, generally the parent at home should have some option for everyone for dinner. We are both very flexible about division of household chores though. If I am having a bad week at home with the kids--illness or extra activities then we improvise. Dinner can be as simple as a rotisserie chicken with veggies one night. If you meal plan it makes it much simpler.

Anonymous wrote:

OP is the only one with time to read through 15 pages of responses (due to her handy life plan of eating crackers and soda.)

Could have been using that time to prepare dinner for her family for the past 2 days. But she is just too busy eating crackers, cheese and whatever else she can stuff down her throat.

Anonymous wrote:Op here-someone said raising the kids didn't take all of your time. They are right. It does not. What it takes is all of my energy, and I think there's an important distinction. I don't want to be a resentful person and hate DH, but I know I would become that if ALL of the childcare was on me, plus all of the housework, and to top it off, all of the cooking. DH also travels a lot. Like, a ton. I spent months 2-4 and 8-10 by myself. And it's my first time with a baby, and it can be hard and isating and menial, so adding cooking to the list-something I really am not good at and do not enjoy-is not something I've prioritized at all, and we've been floundering. I also did contribute a lot financially to our marriage before kids-I worked FT and started a good side business, and as a result saved enough that we will be able to put fifty percent down on our forever home. I'm really proud of that. I think stay at home parents make a really valuable contribution to the family, but because it is not monetized, SAHMs have a lot of potential to take on more than their fair share of responsibility. I see it over and over on these boards, and I think that is a hard road.

OP, I think I hear where you are coming from. How about this practical solution? Your husband should be doing some house work, too, and it sounds like in your ideal world that is cooking. It is harder for him to cook dinner because it makes dinner really late - logistically it doesn't seem to make sense. However, he could do it if you changed the way you guys cook. He could cook tomorrow's meal tonight, and have it in the fridge. You put it in the oven to warm in the late afternoon, or he does the last minute saute or whatever when he gets home. Things that can be done this way are:
Stir fry: cut all veggies and meat and make rice night before. Sautes up in 5 minutes while the rice nukes
Chili: perks away on stove all evening, just warm the next day. Tastes better a day later, anyway
Beef or chicken stew: same as above
Fresh (purchased) pasta and a jar of sauce. 'nuff said.
Lazagna and other caseroles (prep night before, bake day of)

Maybe you could sit down and say "could we figure the food thing out together? I just don't care enough about food to make us a good dinner every night, and I am taking care of the rest of the house chores. Could we come up with a short list of meals you could shop for on the weekends and prep on the weekends or in the evenings, and then I'll put them in the oven for you? And then we can all have a nice meal when you get home."

Anonymous wrote:



Anonymous wrote:




Op here, ok with the introduction of lawyer-mom and her husband who has an 80 hour work week and the dude who is mad because I want "women's equality and all that" the thread has officially offered me all it can. Thank you for all the great advice!!







If OP spent less time on DCUM, perhaps she could manage to make more than a baked potato and a diet coke for her family.




There are 15 pages of responses, I think someone made that comment already on page 6? 7?

OP is the only one with time to read through 15 pages of responses (due to her handy life plan of eating crackers and soda.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lawyer mom is a fake. No lawyer would write that crappily.

New phone impossible to type on and awful autocorrect. I know I look like a 12 yr old lol.

And to some PPs comments, I say this - whatever you can afford.

If OP can afford to eat out or carryout dinner everyday, ok. But I'd leave her if I was DH.

But if there's like NO FOOD option, like there's a Coke in the fridge and cheese, that is definitely neglect or abuse as far as I'm concerned.

No, it is not the autocorrect. It is the lol, the ok, the "was DH," the excessive likes and a few other syntax errors.

Hey, OP. Go make me a turkey sandwich.

Anonymous wrote:Lawyer mom is a fake. No lawyer would write that crappily.

New phone impossible to type on and awful autocorrect. I know I look like a 12 yr old lol.

And to some PPs comments, I say this - whatever you can afford.

If OP can afford to eat out or carryout dinner everyday, ok. But I'd leave her if I was DH.

But if there's like NO FOOD option, like there's a Coke in the fridge and cheese, that is definitely neglect or abuse as far as I'm concerned.

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how any mom could throw a bag of potatoes at their kid and call it a meal. Nutrition anyone?

Reading this thread reminds me of why DH and I both work full time. It puts up both on equal footing and we both do equal chores after work.

LOL

I'm a big foodie, although admittedly below-average cook. I can't fathom living on crackers, and baked taters, and soda. Yuk!