Anonymous wrote:You are correct, pp. But it's really tough to discredit a victim like the UVA girl *had she gone to the hospital and gotten a rape kit, photos, etc.*

EXACTLY. PPs can talk until they're blue in the face about how difficult it is for the victim to come forward and no one is disputing this. But if a prosecution is going to occur, the victims MUST come forward immediately, and have everything documented. With that kind of evidence, there wouldn't be any doubt whatsoever and justice would be served. At some point, victims are going to have to step forward. There's no way around that.

He deleted his Facebook and linked in page? Sounds suspicious.

Anonymous wrote:Obviously boys need to be taught how to behave. But I'm a little concerned that most posters here seem to shy away from teaching girls basic behavior as well.

I don't have any daughters (just a handful of sons), but if I did, I would strive to instill in her not only basic safety steps, but also sufficient self esteem so that she wouldn't buckle under pressure to put out or put herself in a dangerous position just because a boy she hardly knows has shown a little interest in her.

Before I get flamed for blaming the victim (which I'm not), let me explain. Some posters have essentially written off parental responsibility by saying that kids away at college are going to do whatever the hell they want. True, but hopefully your kid will have a good moral compass, good self esteem, and a sense of personal responsibility when you send them off. And hopefully they'll be a good judge of character and surround themselves with good people...and not rent friends for four years and opt to be a lemming.

Look, you can have good moral character and have the occasional lapse in judgment, especially if you are young and away from home for the first time. The penalty for that should not be rape.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's another thought: teach your kids NOT to accept drinks from men. Teach your kids NOT to go to Fraternity parties.

How about focusing on teaching your sons to respect women? These are our sons doing these acts.

Those were not my sons. Blaming all boys/men because of the heinous actions of a few is reprehensible.

Really? Because you're writing off all men -- you're just putting the burden on the women. Hey, don't accept drinks from any men! Don't go to frat parties! If men are so untrustworthy that women shouldn't accept drinks from them, RAISE BETTER MEN, DAMN.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's another thought: teach your kids NOT to accept drinks from men. Teach your kids NOT to go to Fraternity parties.

How about focusing on teaching your sons to respect women? These are our sons doing these acts.

Those were not my sons. Blaming all boys/men because of the heinous actions of a few is reprehensible.

Anonymous wrote:And sadly it will continue to be prevalent unless women step up, report it and press charges.

Or until men step up and STOP RAPING.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What can they do? Close the frats. Abolish the Greek system. That is the least they can do.

I have long wondered why this isn't done. I went to a non-Greek college and there was no shortage of social life, but none of this ridiculous "brotherhood" of secrecy. Frats and sororities need to be abolished.

Doesn't really make a difference. I was in a university town last weekend and they met people from unofficial fraternities. Nothing to prevent them from forming a club and renting a house and having parties.

It actually would make a difference. The school wouldn't be sponsoring these kinds of "clubs," whether or not they were formed off-campus. The fact that these frats are sponsored by the schools, and given a place on campus, and obviously some protection from criminal charges, makes it very clear that they and their activities are school-sanctioned. Any similar assaults taking place off-campus would be subject to criminal investigation, no holds barred. As they should be whether on or off-campus, but that's clearly not happening.

And sadly it will continue to be prevalent unless women step up, report it and press charges.

OP so sorry that happened to you. I stand with you that UVA president should be fired along with anyone else that had supported these cesspools of violence.

OP, I am so, so sorry that happened to you.

I am also a victim of date rape. I've posted about it on dcum before, though not in this thread. It is more prevalent than most people think.

The point is that this young woman accepted an inviation to a party, not a gang rape. She went to a lot of trouble to dress well and look her best. She was excited and was thrilled to be going out with a nice, well-mannered young man she worked with and had no reason to think he was anything but a gentleman. She was 18, from a small town, and thus far in her life, had only known boys/men who treated her with respect. She had no idea that some males were bastards


I know this because I was this same girl at 18 who got all dressed up for a party and was so excited that such a nice guy was intetested in me. In a million years I would never have believed that he would drive me to a deserted area, pull out a knife, and rape me repeatedly for five hours in every orifice. I didn't scream, cry, or beg him to stop because the point of that knife was at my throat and I knew he would have killed me if I had made a noise.

I suggest that before you judge this young woman, walk a mile in her shoes. If you haven't experienced sexual assault then you do not know what you are talking about or what you would do. I did not report him to police because he told me if I told anyone, he would bring his friends to rape me and they could bring their friends and I believed him.

I was a freshman at GW, no family in area and frightenef to death.

FWIW, I am the OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously boys need to be taught how to behave. But I'm a little concerned that most posters here seem to shy away from teaching girls basic behavior as well.

I don't have any daughters (just a handful of sons), but if I did, I would strive to instill in her not only basic safety steps, but also sufficient self esteem so that she wouldn't buckle under pressure to put out or put herself in a dangerous position just because a boy she hardly knows has shown a little interest in her.

Before I get flamed for blaming the victim (which I'm not), let me explain. Some posters have essentially written off parental responsibility by saying that kids away at college are going to do whatever the hell they want. True, but hopefully your kid will have a good moral compass, good self esteem, and a sense of personal responsibility when you send them off. And hopefully they'll be a good judge of character and surround themselves with good people...and not rent friends for four years and opt to be a lemming.

I posted about my rape back toward the beginning of this thread. It was on my 21st birthday. I was a college student, but home on summer break. The rapist was a college student, someone one of my two closet friends knew from school. We ran into him out at the bar where we were celebrating my birthday. He bought me a beer. I wasn't interested in him. I didn't go home with him. The two women he was with drove my friend and I home, and somehow, he ended up coming back to my parents' house with us. My parents were home and awake when we got there - I remember my dad and my sister sitting out on the back deck with us. I don't remember going up to bed, but I have flashes of what happened after that. He raped me on the floor of my bedroom, while my friend slept in the same room, and my parents slept 30 feet away.

My parents taught me good judgement. My lapse: I accepted a beer from a friend of a good friend.

Was the beer spiked?

Why didn't your friend wake up?

I believe so.

I don't know.

To 11/23/2014 21:04. I'm sorry, so sorry that this happened, and in your bedroom. I can't conceive of how violating that was.

^^^ THIS. ASAP.

All frats in the entire country should be shut down forever.