Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no problem with a boy being in the women's changing room. Whatever! If he still needs help, he's probably to young to look at my boobies.

THIS

I'm guessing there are a lot of families who come to your pool, OP. So it's not like the women changing there are expecting adults only. I have a five yr old big and he always comes into the women's room with me. no way in hell would I send him alone to the men's room by himself at age 5. no way. i also have a two yr old daughter and I would feel very uncomfortable with her having to accompany my husband when she is five in the men's room, like PP's husband has to do. They need to change the policies at that pool and provide another way of entering the pool for families.

Why do you feel comfortable with your son in a women's room but will feel uncomfortable if your daughter goes into the men's room at the same age?

5 yr old BOY(above)

Anonymous wrote:I have no problem with a boy being in the women's changing room. Whatever! If he still needs help, he's probably to young to look at my boobies.

THIS

I'm guessing there are a lot of families who come to your pool, OP. So it's not like the women changing there are expecting adults only. I have a five yr old big and he always comes into the women's room with me. no way in hell would I send him alone to the men's room by himself at age 5. no way. i also have a two yr old daughter and I would feel very uncomfortable with her having to accompany my husband when she is five in the men's room, like PP's husband has to do. They need to change the policies at that pool and provide another way of entering the pool for families.

Anonymous wrote:Let's say there is a 13 year old girl that is nude in the locker room, and an 8 year old boy is in there and sees her. Yes, she may feel a little bit of embarrassment in the moment. But then they go their separate ways, and she gets over it. I've known many people of many different ages, some young children, some teens and some adults who've been accidentally seen nude by someone else, and they always get over it. And if it's a stranger that is the one that is seeing you nude, it's all the easier to get over it.

Molestation, on the other hand, is not so easy to get over. To say the very least.

I would rather my teen daughter be momentarily embarrassed by a young boy seeing her in the nude, than to see someones child be molested or harmed in some other way.

And it's not like a little boy is going to be viewing a nude female in a sexual way. Worst case, the boy looks at the nude female out of curiosity.

And as someone else pointed out, in Europe it is common for mothers to take their sons into the female locker rooms without anyone ever giving it a second thought. And I would imagine vice-versa?

Oh, Jesus Christ. The options are not (1) girls are embarrassed or (2) your son gets molested. You could change at home. You could change in the car. You could wait to go to the pool until your DH can go with your son. You could join a pool with family changing rooms. You could go with your son into the men's room. There are a ton of other options that safeguard your son AND make sure that other children don't feel violated. Pick one of those. Don't be a douche.

Anonymous wrote:Let's say there is a 13 year old girl that is nude in the locker room, and an 8 year old boy is in there and sees her. Yes, she may feel a little bit of embarrassment in the moment. But then they go their separate ways, and she gets over it. I've known many people of many different ages, some young children, some teens and some adults who've been accidentally seen nude by someone else, and they always get over it. And if it's a stranger that is the one that is seeing you nude, it's all the easier to get over it.

Molestation, on the other hand, is not so easy to get over. To say the very least.

I would rather my teen daughter be momentarily embarrassed by a young boy seeing her in the nude, than to see someones child be molested or harmed in some other way.

And it's not like a little boy is going to be viewing a nude female in a sexual way. Worst case, the boy looks at the nude female out of curiosity.

And as someone else pointed out, in Europe it is common for mothers to take their sons into the female locker rooms without anyone ever giving it a second thought. And I would imagine vice-versa?

1. Why do you get to decide that my daughter's embarrassment and feeling of violation is nothing to be concerned about?
2. What if the boy and girl are in fact classmates and the girl has to see the boy everyday at school?
3. Why do you act as if it is a given that your boy will be molested? You have some serious paranoia/anxiety issues.
4. Why does it matter what they do in Europe? We are in AMERICA!

The pool has rules which you agreed to follow when you joined so keep your 8yr old son out of women's locker room. Why do you think these rules are only for others and not you? I would report you to the manager and ask that you be instructed to obey the rules as the rest of us do.

Anonymous wrote:This is exactly why it is so difficult for me to take my 7 year old with me to the pool without my husband. He has autism and has the maturity of a 5-6 year old. He gets so anxious about having to go by himself that we spend tons of time trying to get him to do it which cuts into the fun time severely. I actually just take him home still wearing his swimming trunks. I wouldn't have an issue with a boy that age seeing me or my daughter naked, but I realize and respect that others do.

One day he will be able to do it, I am sure...

Maybe you could ask the manager of the pool if there were times when your son could "practice" going through the locker room and maybe pick out 3 places where he could get changed, this way in case one area is occupied he has 2 other places to go.

Let's say there is a 13 year old girl that is nude in the locker room, and an 8 year old boy is in there and sees her. Yes, she may feel a little bit of embarrassment in the moment. But then they go their separate ways, and she gets over it. I've known many people of many different ages, some young children, some teens and some adults who've been accidentally seen nude by someone else, and they always get over it. And if it's a stranger that is the one that is seeing you nude, it's all the easier to get over it.

Molestation, on the other hand, is not so easy to get over. To say the very least.

I would rather my teen daughter be momentarily embarrassed by a young boy seeing her in the nude, than to see someones child be molested or harmed in some other way.

And it's not like a little boy is going to be viewing a nude female in a sexual way. Worst case, the boy looks at the nude female out of curiosity.

And as someone else pointed out, in Europe it is common for mothers to take their sons into the female locker rooms without anyone ever giving it a second thought. And I would imagine vice-versa?

I too have an 8 yo boy, and I have never taken him with me into the women's locker room. We joined our pool 2 yrs ago. I would especially never do it b/c I know there are girls from his there- and he would be mortified.

To the PP who takes her son to the locker room, you are wrong that we're just a bunch of strangers on the Internet. We're your neighbors, and fellow parents who live near you, who have pool memberships at a pool like yours, maybe even at your pool. We have kids the same age as your kids, and we overwhelmingly agree that 8 is too old, that you are violating our daugher's privacy, and that you need to teach your son to be independent. Please keep your son out of our locker roo.

This is exactly why it is so difficult for me to take my 7 year old with me to the pool without my husband. He has autism and has the maturity of a 5-6 year old. He gets so anxious about having to go by himself that we spend tons of time trying to get him to do it which cuts into the fun time severely. I actually just take him home still wearing his swimming trunks. I wouldn't have an issue with a boy that age seeing me or my daughter naked, but I realize and respect that others do.

One day he will be able to do it, I am sure...

The child seeing a naked person of the opposite sex isn't the issue. The issue is that the naked person's privacy has been violated. The more age difference there is , the less it likely matters. But no. A 13 year old girl shouldn't be subjected to a 9 year old neighborhood boy staring at her.

8 is old enough to change on their own and too old to be in an opposite sex restroom of locker room. Kids that age can start to be curious/interested in the opposite/same sex.

And yes, I have boys.

Teach your children, not hold their hands forever. Not giving them the skills. independence. and confidence they need cripples them and does nothing to protect them. Your son should know to walk in, change, and walk out. No fooling around and in the extremely rare chance that something was to happen he have the tools to respond.

Anonymous wrote:For the poster who thinks seeing opposite sex peers in the locker room will cost a mint in therapy visits later on - I doubt it. It is likley irrelavant or even the opposite. Europeans have a much better attitude on these things and (generally speaking) less issues.

There was a post on this about a year ago - at that time a few people chimed in with links about issues in area pool locker rooms - there were not many but at least 2 or 3. I was all for starting at 5 before reading that post but will likley wait until the posted age at our pool (age 6). Just for the posters who don't beleive it can happen - make sure you talk to your child.

Take one second and think beyond your kid. It's not about your kid seeing the opposite sex. It's about the girls in the locker room feeling uncomfortable with a boy their age looking at them naked. How Europeans deal with nudity has nothing to do with this. We are in America and the girls in the locker room are American.

For the poster who thinks seeing opposite sex peers in the locker room will cost a mint in therapy visits later on - I doubt it. It is likley irrelavant or even the opposite. Europeans have a much better attitude on these things and (generally speaking) less issues.

There was a post on this about a year ago - at that time a few people chimed in with links about issues in area pool locker rooms - there were not many but at least 2 or 3. I was all for starting at 5 before reading that post but will likley wait until the posted age at our pool (age 6). Just for the posters who don't beleive it can happen - make sure you talk to your child.

Alright, I said I was done commenting on this subject, and I meant it. But I have to respond to this moronic post.

I do NOT hate men by any means at all. I have a husband that I love and respect, I have a father that I love and respect, and my son will one day be a man.

I don't think any less of men in general than I think of women in general.

you are so immature that you're afraid of a little boy seeing your breasts or butt???

my husband feels that there is nothing wrong with my son going into the locker room with my daughter and I.

I took my children to the pool again today. We did the exact same routine today as we've been doing for the last few years. I kept an extra close eye on my son when we were in the showers. There was a mixture of other women and girls in there with us. And my son does not stare at them.

One of the women that I had never seen before did have a double take as my son walked past, but she did not make the slightest effort to hide or fact the other way. Not one other person in there even looked at my son out of the ordinary. Not one other!

While we were swimming I swam over by one of the other moms that swims there on a regular basis with her little girl. I have spoken with the lady many times in the past about neighborhood related stuff. I asked her to be honest with me on whether she thought that it was inappropriate for me to take my 8 year old son in the women's locker room with me. This mother and her little girl have been nude in the showers at the same exact time that I've been in there with my children. (No, that is not the classmate and her mother that I mentioned before) She did not hesitate to say that she sees nothing wrong with it! When I told her about some of the comments that I've had directed at me the last couple of days, she made a face and said "Some people just have a stick up their A*$ sometimes."

Seeing boobs and butts in a locker room never hurt any little boy or girl.