Anonymous wrote:13:25 -- Fair enough -- if your kid likes it, whatever floats his boat, though I must say you are the only person I've ever heard whose son wanted to attend Capital Cotillion. Most of the boys I know were either bribed or forced to participate. Interestingly, the CC folks have now launched a new enterprise offering events for teens. I had a hilarious conversation with my son and one of his buddies when we got the invitation in the mail. I asked them if they knew anyone who would want to go and they proceeded to lead me through the taxonomy of high school types (pretty much what it was like back in the '70s), concluding that nobody would be interested in the cruise down the Potomac or formal dance with supper to follow.

Anonymous wrote:The foxtrot? The jitterbug? The cha-cha? What century are you people living in??? Who the hell under the age of 60 does those dances anymore? Are you all really that . . . . sqare?

Anonymous wrote:To the PP who can't dance -- unleash your inner -Ginger Rogers and take lessons with your DH; it's fun!

To the many PPs defending these activities -- your argument seems to be that it's no big deal because your kids didn't learn all that much. If that's so, then why shell out all that money? This is not a rhetorical question; I'm really curious about the reason. Having been through the Bar/Bat Mitzvah year with my oldest, I can tell you that the kids do have fun even if they're not prepped in advance. Wearing the boy-uniform of blazer, tie and khaki pants is not that complex, nor is learning how to do the Cotton-Eyed Joe or the Macarena. As for the girls, there's obviously no issue about dressing up, and they've learned how to do all the line dances at sleepovers. Finally, I hate to disillusion anyone, but middle schoolers and high schoolers don't ballroom dance anymore, so you don't have to worry that your kid will be the only one who can't do the box step.

These phony-boloney cotillions for the masses may not be as insidious as some here have suggested, but I still don't get why anyone would spend their money, their kid's time and their own time schlepping the kid to and from the event. Even if you feel like one of the Beverly Hillbillies yourself, a "five-minute manners lesson" -- quoting a PP who defended Capital Cotillion -- is probably something you could manage yourself in the privacy of your own home.

Anonymous wrote:I do have etiquette books and have used them for reference. They don't help "on the spot", nor could they have taught me how to at least look like I know how to dance with a partner. When the ballroom-type dancing starts at an event, we leave since we don't know how.

Anonymous wrote:A sense of superiority and elite snobbery is exactly what these programs promote. That's why they advertise with "invitations" to kids who attend certain schools. I gag every time we get one of those in the mail. The best way to teach your kids manners is by modeling them yourself; that plus a little role-playing ("So, let's practice what you'll do and say when we introduce you to a friend of ours for the first time.") and encouragement is all it takes. These programs aren't about manners; they're about some 1950s-relic of an idea that you only want your children to associate with other people just like them. Get over it and join the 21st Century.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just buy a manners book then. These classes don't teach anything. --- the former debutante, private school grad who also attended classes like this.

Not everyone feels the same way. Capital Cotillion is a class for dancing and a 5 minute manners lesson (how to write a thank you note, etc). I cannot believe how much is read into this. Go to the website and then go to one class and see whether it's as evil as portrayed here.

Signed,

a frumpy mom whose normal son goes to Capital Cotillion without serious repercussions to date but who will be on the look out.