Anonymous
09/13/2025 19:35
Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Huh. I’ve never minded being asked where I bought something (and I’ve never considered or cared whether the item would look good on whoever was asking) and if I see something I particularly like I’ve never hesitated to ask the wearer where she got it. I grew up in Miami fwiw. I wouldn’t necessarily purchase the exact item, especially if it’s somebody I see all the time and I’d have to worry about showing up to the same event in the same outfit. But most brands or stores have a particular aesthetic or vibe and if I like your dress I’ll probably find other items I like and I’m always happy to discover a new (to me) brand. Seriously it’s just clothes. It’s not that deep.
Anonymous
09/13/2025 16:34
Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ha, if someone asks me where something is from, not only do I tell them (sometimes it’s TJMaxx sometimes it’s from a designer boutique) I will track the item down for them online and send a link saying I think they would look fantastic in it. It’s wonderful getting a compliment and I couldn’t care less if everyone was walking around in something I inspired them to buy!
What if they wouldn't look fantastic in it?
I have numerous times been asked about something I'm wearing by someone who would not be suited by it. I have a very specific body type and one of the reasons my clothes are distinctive is that I shop with a very clear idea of what looks good on my specific body. For instance, I have very small breasts but a really nice neck and clavicles, so many of my clothes are cut in a way that absolutely wouldn't work on someone with even regular B cups. I'm also long waisted so I wear a lot of high waisted items because they make my legs look longer without shortening my torso -- someone more proportionate might look weird in some of these clothes.
I think compliments are nice and I often compliment other womens' clothes or jewelry if they are wearing something I like or that suits them really well. But the "where did you get it" question has never really made sense to me because clothes are so personal and specific, IMO. If I meet someone with my same body type I would get it because she's probably think "oh, this person knows how to dress bodies like ours." But that's never who asks me. It's always someone with a totally different body type who should be dressing very different from how I dress, but I don't want to say that, so I just say "oh I don't remember" or "it's vintage" (which is sometimes true but sometimes not).
Oh well. I'm not gatekeeping, I just think the question is weird. I don't really get how other people select their clothes, I guess.
This is a super weird reason not to share where you bought your clothes, and in general I think there are many good reasons to be uncomfortable with this question. What do you care if someone wants to buy a jacket or shirt that won't look good on them? And, the same piece of clothing can look good on different body types, even if it might fit differently. If you understand fit so well, you should understand that too.
Anonymous
09/13/2025 16:30
Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:A lot of people are buying used or secondhand right now and don't want to admit it.
Wrong
Its pretty much the only thing people are eager to admit right now
Not within certain groups it's not. Some people would admit to "vintage" but your UMC or aspirational UMC probably would not admit to buying on Poshmark or the thrift store to save money.
I would, but not a lot of people I know, but I'm into sustainability and they are not.
This isn’t true, everyone is happy to admit shopping vintage and thrifting, it’s very in. That’s one of the few safe “right” answers to this invasive question. For any economic strata.
Actually no. If I told my middle class Northern VA family my outfit was secondhand from a thrift shop they would be appalled. You are posting in a DC area forum.
If I could remember what brand it was, I would tell them.