Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 08:23     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.

I agree with this for kids who are undecided or have no real future plans to follow a particular interest in a major of study. Some schools have better programs than others in particular majors, obviously. I always tell my kids that most people care most about where you get your graduate degree, or if you even have one. I know a number of people who went to ivys and didn’t get grad degrees and they are not as successful as those I know from lesser undergrads with great grad degrees. Undergrad only counts for so much no matter where you go and thankfully there are so many good options for undergrad in this country and the wider world.


No need to spend more $$ and time when you have solid undergrad degree.


There is if you want to advance in most careers that expect or require advanced degrees…
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 08:22     Subject: Re:I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As always, it depends.

If you want to get into an elite career or grad school program, college rankings absolutely matter.

If you're like the other 95% of college students who just want a decent middle class job, most colleges will do the trick just fine.


There is absolutely zero evidence to support your statement about getting into grad school.

And what exactly is your idea of an elite career?

All you need to get into an elite law or medical school is elite level lsat, etc scores and near perfect grades in under grad, and recs and have shown drive. This is actually easier to do at a school that is “less competitive” and has greater access to professors than at Cornell, for instance. This is the case for most highly selective grad programs. A very smart person who is driven in undergrad will actually have a higher chance of getting into a highly selective grad program if they are able to stand out a bit rather than just be in the middle of the pack of high achieving wolves fighting for the professors attention and opportunities.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 08:18     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.

I agree with this for kids who are undecided or have no real future plans to follow a particular interest in a major of study. Some schools have better programs than others in particular majors, obviously. I always tell my kids that most people care most about where you get your graduate degree, or if you even have one. I know a number of people who went to ivys and didn’t get grad degrees and they are not as successful as those I know from lesser undergrads with great grad degrees. Undergrad only counts for so much no matter where you go and thankfully there are so many good options for undergrad in this country and the wider world.


No need to spend more $$ and time when you have solid undergrad degree.

Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 08:15     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.

I agree with this for kids who are undecided or have no real future plans to follow a particular interest in a major of study. Some schools have better programs than others in particular majors, obviously. I always tell my kids that most people care most about where you get your graduate degree, or if you even have one. I know a number of people who went to ivys and didn’t get grad degrees and they are not as successful as those I know from lesser undergrads with great grad degrees. Undergrad only counts for so much no matter where you go and thankfully there are so many good options for undergrad in this country and the wider world.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 08:07     Subject: Re:I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:Saying that you are not pushing for Ivies or T20 schools is not the same things as saying it doesn’t matter where your kids go to school.


Finding the best fit schools for your child is about much more than fossilized rankings and prestige.

Cost
School size
School location
Majors
Minors
Quality of mentoring on campus
Quality of Learning supports provided
Quality of student health care services
Mental health care supports
female reproductive health care
Diversity on campus
Culture of school and nearby towns
Proximity to home (or distance if preferred)
Urban v suburban v rural
Safety/
Crime on and nearby campus
Whether they want to do post grad studies/ law/ medicines/ vet studies
Whether they don’t know what they want to do and have freedom to explore


All parents care where their children study but there are many factors other than highest rankings to consider.


Yes, it's just that rankings and prestige is part of the list.

No need to look at #300 #400 something school when you can pick one from T50ish schools
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 05:27     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your grad degree absolutely matters from where. Undergrad, as long as it was decent you are good to go. Have fun!


Yeeeaaaah...no. Grad degree doesn't matter so much, either. It's what you make of it.


Wrong. Grad degree institution absolutely matters for PhD, JD, MBA.


What evidence do you have to support that? There are people in leadership positions and top firms everywhere with degrees from less selective grad schools. The only reason the most selective institutions are so highly represented is because they get first pick of the top undergrad students, just like the reason elite undergrad schools are so highly represented is b/c they get first pick of top hs students.

Stop feeding the false narrative that is driving much of the anxiety students are feeling these days.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 00:11     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.


There are a group of employers that for all intents and purposes essentially only recruit from the top 10 schools. I agree there are also plenty of employers that don’t waste their time recruiting from those schools as well.

It’s more than just “bonus” points.

I actually believe there are many employers in tech that don’t care if you go to college at all. My kid interned at an AI company that raised $50MM+ of VC and 1/3 of the company didn’t go to college.


If you are talking about big banks and consulting, I would venture to argue that these are the jobs and institutions that are sucking the wealth from the bottom half of the population and perpetuating the wealth gap. It is all so ironic.


No…VC funds, boutique investment banks…they don’t comprise a significant number of jobs but their hiring is very insular.


And for VC/boutique investment banks what matters is your MBA, it most definately matters where you got your MBA. But for undergrad not so much
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 00:08     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:It's like, why are you on here then?

People are trying to make choices. Sure it may not be life or death, but to be like, it doesn't matter, do whatever, are you really adding value?


Because what matters most is that your kid goes to a school they/you can afford and second what is a great fit for them.

When most say "it doesn't matter" they mean it doesn't matter if it's ranked #10 or #100----it matters what is a good fit and great school for your individual kid
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2023 23:43     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.


Ummm no. That really isn't the case.

It doesn't sound like you are familiar with what it's like to have a career in NYC or Chicago at a prestigious company. Try applying to Goldman Sachs or McKinsey from Towson and see if they talk to you.

If your dream is to take over your parent's business, I'd suggest focusing on the classes you get access to rather than the name. If you have to make it on your own and want doors to open, you need a school with a great reputation and a solid alumni network.

Also, I'm not shelling out $80,000+ for my kid to go somewhere nobody has ever heard of. I don't think you need to go to a top school to be successful, but it helps.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2023 14:17     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.


I'm sorry but I just don't agree that this applies to everyone. The assumption that wealth & eduction correlates with Middle class white culture is so off-putting. I'm asian and a child of immigrants- I've seen way too many successful lives destroyed by events that would never be life 'destroyers' for their white peers b/c of a lack of exposure to ideas/UMC ways of doing things and confidence. The difference that going to a top ten law school would make for my kid even though their parents are lawyers will be much much bigger than it is for your kids and there are plenty of immigrants, brown and black people and even first generation college grad white posters here and we know better than you how social mobility works b/c its something we have experienced for ourselves, not just read about in the Atlantic and VOX. I've seen first hand the difference in girls who go to George mason vs. even UVA/George Washington and what they've gone on to do with their lives. Exposure to a wider set of possibilities and the self concept that you are one of the ppl who should be applying to post docs at Magdalen college and MS at LSE and opening businesses with friends you met at NYU Beijing are vastly different than a fed contractor driving to target and their home in Burke with no USAID/FSO posting in sight day after miserable day. Many ppl on here have benefited from their superior merit and work ethic and want make sure that their kids move that one rung up to having even more choices and possibilities when their grandparents struggled and sacrificed. That is what ppl move here for, if I wanted to keep treading water, my father should've stayed home and not left his family and everyone he held dear.

+1
AMEN!!

Thank you. It is nerve wrecking to have discussions on this board because the majority lack basic knowledge about the experiences of immigrants especially brown and black people.

+1 have to agree. I'm a child of uneducated immigrants, and I went to a no name state u. I think if I had gone to a "better" school, it would've broadened my horizons, and I could've achieved a lot more.

that's not to say that I don't have a great life. I have a umc life, and I'm thankful for it. I eventually ended up at a FAANG. But, going to no name state u meant that I did not have that exposure and network to venture out more.

You don't have to go to a T10 to get that kind of exposure and experience, but where you go can and, often times, does impact the trajectory of your career.


+1000

Anyone who's in denial about the fact that where you go to college matters is just delusional. There was that study showing that the top 1% is disproportionately dominated by elite colleges.

Going to an elite college matters, full stop


You are confusing causation with correlation.

UMC connected white kids who end up at top SLACs and universities do well b/c of their connections in their family, friend group and hometowns. They may go to Amherst but could have done just as well at UMass.

A first gen kid, an URM kid is just not going to have that kind of juice simply by getting a degree from Brown! Or wherever. That same kid will never have the social capital and connections that the UMC white kid will have.

Save your money for grad school -- undergrad (outside of MIT and maybe Harvard) isn't where it's at.


I am not somebody that thinks you have to go to a tippy-top school, but I find all these comments about grad school to be annoying as hell.

The vast majority of us very successful people did not attend, nor ever wanted to attend grad school. In many professional / business fields, grad school is less-and-less relevant. In most tech companies and professions it is not relevant...although, yes some of the AI PhDs can earn very big $$$s.

The idea that you should save money and just go to any undergrad...so you can pay for a really expensive grad school is just not great advice.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2023 14:08     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
According the the regular GU and NEU OP, it VERY much matters where one attends undergrad - and the more he talks, the more he proves that very point.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2023 14:06     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.


I'm sorry but I just don't agree that this applies to everyone. The assumption that wealth & eduction correlates with Middle class white culture is so off-putting. I'm asian and a child of immigrants- I've seen way too many successful lives destroyed by events that would never be life 'destroyers' for their white peers b/c of a lack of exposure to ideas/UMC ways of doing things and confidence. The difference that going to a top ten law school would make for my kid even though their parents are lawyers will be much much bigger than it is for your kids and there are plenty of immigrants, brown and black people and even first generation college grad white posters here and we know better than you how social mobility works b/c its something we have experienced for ourselves, not just read about in the Atlantic and VOX. I've seen first hand the difference in girls who go to George mason vs. even UVA/George Washington and what they've gone on to do with their lives. Exposure to a wider set of possibilities and the self concept that you are one of the ppl who should be applying to post docs at Magdalen college and MS at LSE and opening businesses with friends you met at NYU Beijing are vastly different than a fed contractor driving to target and their home in Burke with no USAID/FSO posting in sight day after miserable day. Many ppl on here have benefited from their superior merit and work ethic and want make sure that their kids move that one rung up to having even more choices and possibilities when their grandparents struggled and sacrificed. That is what ppl move here for, if I wanted to keep treading water, my father should've stayed home and not left his family and everyone he held dear.

+1
AMEN!!

Thank you. It is nerve wrecking to have discussions on this board because the majority lack basic knowledge about the experiences of immigrants especially brown and black people.

+1 have to agree. I'm a child of uneducated immigrants, and I went to a no name state u. I think if I had gone to a "better" school, it would've broadened my horizons, and I could've achieved a lot more.

that's not to say that I don't have a great life. I have a umc life, and I'm thankful for it. I eventually ended up at a FAANG. But, going to no name state u meant that I did not have that exposure and network to venture out more.

You don't have to go to a T10 to get that kind of exposure and experience, but where you go can and, often times, does impact the trajectory of your career.


+1000

Anyone who's in denial about the fact that where you go to college matters is just delusional. There was that study showing that the top 1% is disproportionately dominated by elite colleges.

Going to an elite college matters, full stop


You are confusing causation with correlation.

UMC connected white kids who end up at top SLACs and universities do well b/c of their connections in their family, friend group and hometowns. They may go to Amherst but could have done just as well at UMass.

A first gen kid, an URM kid is just not going to have that kind of juice simply by getting a degree from Brown! Or wherever. That same kid will never have the social capital and connections that the UMC white kid will have.

Save your money for grad school -- undergrad (outside of MIT and maybe Harvard) isn't where it's at.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2023 14:00     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
This is only an obsession for a small slice of the UMC, who are concerned that their kids won't be able to maintain the same SES as them, if they can't get onto one of these top schools. The truly rich don't care too much, since they can either donate enough to their school of choice to get their kids admitted, or they're so rich that it doesn't really matter where their kids go to school (or even if they attend at all). The middle class and working class know these schools are out of reach, except for truly exceptional circumstances, so they don't even bother trying.

My wife and I have 3 Ivy league degrees between us, and it;s certainly helped our careers. But, unless something really exceptional happens in the next few years, our kids are likely going to end up at one of the second tier Virginia public universities. In some ways, it's a relief that we don't have to stress too much about it.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2023 13:34     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your grad degree absolutely matters from where. Undergrad, as long as it was decent you are good to go. Have fun!


Yeeeaaaah...no. Grad degree doesn't matter so much, either. It's what you make of it.


Wrong. Grad degree institution absolutely matters for PhD, JD, MBA.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2023 09:01     Subject: Re:I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Saying that you are not pushing for Ivies or T20 schools is not the same things as saying it doesn’t matter where your kids go to school.


Finding the best fit schools for your child is about much more than fossilized rankings and prestige.

Cost
School size
School location
Majors
Minors
Quality of mentoring on campus
Quality of Learning supports provided
Quality of student health care services
Mental health care supports
female reproductive health care
Diversity on campus
Culture of school and nearby towns
Proximity to home (or distance if preferred)
Urban v suburban v rural
Safety/
Crime on and nearby campus
Whether they want to do post grad studies/ law/ medicines/ vet studies
Whether they don’t know what they want to do and have freedom to explore


All parents care where their children study but there are many factors other than highest rankings to consider.