Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I CANNOT believe that people are criticizing SIL for running a marathon. Geez, what’s wrong with you all? It is not self-indulgent of a mom of small kids to train for and run a marathon. It’s downright impressive. And she probably had this on the calendar way before this absurd 3pm on a Friday or wedding.

I understand that BIL might be disappointed that he easy childcare plans aren’t working out the way he hoped, but the cousin (who planned this mid-week wedding in an out of the way location), the BIL and the MIL should work to arrange a sitter for BIL’s kids (*if* he still wants to come).

And no one should be criticizing OP for not wanting to go and not wanting to be a weekend nanny for four kids under 5.

Nothing impressive about a marathon at that stage of life. It is similar to buying a corvette during a mid-life crisis.

New poster here. There is something wrong with you.

I will remind you she has a 1yo and 3yo at home. Why do a marathon now? Why is that such a priority? This is the most confusing part of the story here for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I CANNOT believe that people are criticizing SIL for running a marathon. Geez, what’s wrong with you all? It is not self-indulgent of a mom of small kids to train for and run a marathon. It’s downright impressive. And she probably had this on the calendar way before this absurd 3pm on a Friday or wedding.

I understand that BIL might be disappointed that he easy childcare plans aren’t working out the way he hoped, but the cousin (who planned this mid-week wedding in an out of the way location), the BIL and the MIL should work to arrange a sitter for BIL’s kids (*if* he still wants to come).

And no one should be criticizing OP for not wanting to go and not wanting to be a weekend nanny for four kids under 5.

Nothing impressive about a marathon at that stage of life. It is similar to buying a corvette during a mid-life crisis.

New poster here. There is something wrong with you.

I will remind you she has a 1yo and 3yo at home. Why do a marathon now? Why is that such a priority? This is the most confusing part of the story here for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I CANNOT believe that people are criticizing SIL for running a marathon. Geez, what’s wrong with you all? It is not self-indulgent of a mom of small kids to train for and run a marathon. It’s downright impressive. And she probably had this on the calendar way before this absurd 3pm on a Friday wedding.

I understand that BIL might be disappointed that he easy childcare plans aren’t working out the way he hoped, but the cousin (who planned this mid-week wedding in an out of the way location), the BIL and the MIL should work to arrange a sitter for BIL’s kids (*if* he still wants to come).

And no one should be criticizing OP for not wanting to go and not wanting to be a weekend nanny for four kids under 5.

Nothing impressive about a marathon at that stage of life. It is similar to buying a corvette during a mid-life crisis.

Congrats PP, as it turns out you are actually the biggest AH of this thread.

For pointing out the obvious?

DP. No, for having very twisted values.

Training and being able to complete a marathon is very laudable. And I'm a parent and I too value responsible parenting, but that doesn't mean that both are not impressive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I CANNOT believe that people are criticizing SIL for running a marathon. Geez, what’s wrong with you all? It is not self-indulgent of a mom of small kids to train for and run a marathon. It’s downright impressive. And she probably had this on the calendar way before this absurd 3pm on a Friday wedding.

I understand that BIL might be disappointed that he easy childcare plans aren’t working out the way he hoped, but the cousin (who planned this mid-week wedding in an out of the way location), the BIL and the MIL should work to arrange a sitter for BIL’s kids (*if* he still wants to come).

And no one should be criticizing OP for not wanting to go and not wanting to be a weekend nanny for four kids under 5.

Nothing impressive about a marathon at that stage of life. It is similar to buying a corvette during a mid-life crisis.

Congrats PP, as it turns out you are actually the biggest AH of this thread.

For pointing out the obvious?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BIL’s wife should skip marathon.

Why? She probably started training for it way before these in laws decided to plan a wedding in the middle of the day on a Friday. You don’t just wake up one day and decide to run a marathon. I think it’s up to the BIL to figure out childcare — not on his wife to give up a long term goal.

It's inherently indulgent and self-involved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I CANNOT believe that people are criticizing SIL for running a marathon. Geez, what’s wrong with you all? It is not self-indulgent of a mom of small kids to train for and run a marathon. It’s downright impressive. And she probably had this on the calendar way before this absurd 3pm on a Friday or wedding.

I understand that BIL might be disappointed that he easy childcare plans aren’t working out the way he hoped, but the cousin (who planned this mid-week wedding in an out of the way location), the BIL and the MIL should work to arrange a sitter for BIL’s kids (*if* he still wants to come).

And no one should be criticizing OP for not wanting to go and not wanting to be a weekend nanny for four kids under 5.

Nothing impressive about a marathon at that stage of life. It is similar to buying a corvette during a mid-life crisis.

New poster here. There is something wrong with you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are definitely TA for not trying to solve this problem and find childcare. This is what care.com is for - you find someone vetted and trustworthy and pay a bit extra for one night. Or you could have asked your mom or one of your regular babysitters to take a day of PTO and paid extra for that - did you try that?

Honestly your whole vibe is that you don't care to attend and you didn't really try to figure this out. But blaming it on the wedding being childfree is dumb. Most events are childfree, and weddings are more important than most events.

You are a TA for suggesting this. I would not hire a rando from the internet to watch my kids overnight either. You are a dumbass.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I CANNOT believe that people are criticizing SIL for running a marathon. Geez, what’s wrong with you all? It is not self-indulgent of a mom of small kids to train for and run a marathon. It’s downright impressive. And she probably had this on the calendar way before this absurd 3pm on a Friday wedding.

I understand that BIL might be disappointed that he easy childcare plans aren’t working out the way he hoped, but the cousin (who planned this mid-week wedding in an out of the way location), the BIL and the MIL should work to arrange a sitter for BIL’s kids (*if* he still wants to come).

And no one should be criticizing OP for not wanting to go and not wanting to be a weekend nanny for four kids under 5.

Nothing impressive about a marathon at that stage of life. It is similar to buying a corvette during a mid-life crisis.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really do not see why BIL is even coming. Hmmm fly alone with 2 small children to attend a cousin’s kid free wedding in the middle of nowhere, and no childcare options….sure, sign me right up? And all this for a cousin who planned a wedding at 3pm on a Friday? I mean…just no. I don’t understand why MIL/FIL seem to encouraging such a thing either.

The logical thing would be for BIL to stay HOME, op’s DH attends alone.

If BIL is determined to continue with this absurd plan, that is on him. Not your problem. My guess is he figured “wife is out of town, I’ll take the kids to visit family, who will do all the childcare for me so I can relax”. Pretty common.

Ha, totally 100% I bet that was what BIL was thinking. “Hey this will be easy.”

The BIL doesn’t strike me as this kind of guy. I know that these men exist. In fact, I am married to one. But this type of guy would just tell his wife that he’s going to the wedding and leave her to figure out childcare during the marathon.

The BIL seems like a guy who is used to taking care of his kids.

…by expecting his SIL to watch them.

No. He suggested that they get an Airbnb near the venue and split the cost of a sitter.

It was MIL who expected OP to stay home and watch all of the kids.

BIL thinking it’s easy to just find and trust a sitter in some random location shows that he’s clueless about childcare.

Seekingsitters.com

You’re welcome

DP. You can keep posting this over and over but it isn’t going to make me personally comfortable with hiring a sitter that way for my kids. If the BIL wants to do that he can certainly go ahead and get an AirBnb for him and his kids near the wedding and stick them with a sitter he found on the internet during the wedding and reception. OP being unwilling to do that, which is her prerogative, doesn’t mean the option isn’t there for the BIL.

Sure. Asking OP and her husband if they want to do this with him doesn’t make him a huge jerk, though.

The mere asking definitely doesn’t make him a jerk, but the obvious tattling to his mommy, who then called OP and her DH to suggest that OP just watch all 4 kids was an immature and jerky move. [/quote

OP didn’t say that he did that. Maybe he called his mom and said that he wasn’t going to fly out to go if his brother wasn’t going (which seems completely reasonable).