Freezing is a survival instinct. Your subconscious was just trying to calculate the odds and figure out what to do to keep yourself safe. Don't beat yourself up about it. You spoke up when you had the power to change something and prevented a young girl from being harmed, regardless of her father appearing to be an idiot. You should be proud of yourself, and kind to yourself too. Freezing is a totally normal thing. We're programmed not to make a scene, right? Your brain was trying to figure out how this would play out and if drawing attention to the situation would make things better or worse for you. I'm sorry that this happened to you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my 20s, I had a cross country flight and was seated in the window seat next to a man that had spent the many hours before the flight (flying stand-by) drinking in the airport bar. He then ordered three more jack and cokes in quick succession after boarding the flight. The flight attendant then finally cut him off, but he was beyond slurring his words and falling over in his seat. I had my book up literally blocking him from leaning over onto my shoulder and he kept trying to pull it down. The nice man with the aisle seat finally starting trying to engage him to get him off of me.

My teen daughter has flown alone a couple of times and I've told her that if the man next to her touches her in anything other than an accidental way, she is to start yelling immediately that he is assaulting her and she needs to be reseated. There are way too many stories of teen girls trying to be nice and reasonable about it, and then the airline just totally ignores them.

Also, I really don't think anyone should have more than 2 drinks on any flight.

I experienced something similar on a flight from dc to Houston. I was with my husband and young kids and I was seated across the aisle from them. The man next to me was dirty and smelled bad and was visibly drunk when he got on the plane. He continued to drink non stop and at some point started pawing at his crotch and would touch my thigh. It got worse as the flight continued. I froze and it took me a very long time to do anything. He was touching me so much I told him to stop it. I was so mortified I wasn’t loud. He apologized but continued. When the attendant came by to give him his 5th or 6th drink I told her to stop serving him and that if he touched me again there would be a problem. She ignored me. I’m so embarrassed that I didn’t speak up or get loud. My husband had no clue until we got off the plane. I did complain to the attendants at the front as we were exiting the plane. No reaction whatsoever.

What really made me angry was when we were boarding the next flight he was boarding with us and tried to follow me on the plane. My husband got in between us and told him to get lost. The kicker was he was seated next to a young girl who might have 12 or 13. Her father was in a seat across the aisle. I told the dad what happened to me loudly enough for everyone around us to hear including the drunk perv so the dad switched seats with his daughter. Dad and drunk perv had a blast chatting together and as we were getting off the plane dad had to mention to me what a great guy he was.

Men are idiots when it comes to taking women seriously particularly about another man being inappropriate. I remember feeling stupid for speaking up. It still makes me feel sick.

I understand and definitely agree with your last paragraph, having been in a similar situation myself. However, why on earth didn't you immediately tell your husband what the drunk guy was doing so he could switch seats with you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my 20s, I had a cross country flight and was seated in the window seat next to a man that had spent the many hours before the flight (flying stand-by) drinking in the airport bar. He then ordered three more jack and cokes in quick succession after boarding the flight. The flight attendant then finally cut him off, but he was beyond slurring his words and falling over in his seat. I had my book up literally blocking him from leaning over onto my shoulder and he kept trying to pull it down. The nice man with the aisle seat finally starting trying to engage him to get him off of me.

My teen daughter has flown alone a couple of times and I've told her that if the man next to her touches her in anything other than an accidental way, she is to start yelling immediately that he is assaulting her and she needs to be reseated. There are way too many stories of teen girls trying to be nice and reasonable about it, and then the airline just totally ignores them.

Also, I really don't think anyone should have more than 2 drinks on any flight.

I experienced something similar on a flight from dc to Houston. I was with my husband and young kids and I was seated across the aisle from them. The man next to me was dirty and smelled bad and was visibly drunk when he got on the plane. He continued to drink non stop and at some point started pawing at his crotch and would touch my thigh. It got worse as the flight continued. I froze and it took me a very long time to do anything. He was touching me so much I told him to stop it. I was so mortified I wasn’t loud. He apologized but continued. When the attendant came by to give him his 5th or 6th drink I told her to stop serving him and that if he touched me again there would be a problem. She ignored me. I’m so embarrassed that I didn’t speak up or get loud. My husband had no clue until we got off the plane. I did complain to the attendants at the front as we were exiting the plane. No reaction whatsoever.

What really made me angry was when we were boarding the next flight he was boarding with us and tried to follow me on the plane. My husband got in between us and told him to get lost. The kicker was he was seated next to a young girl who might have 12 or 13. Her father was in a seat across the aisle. I told the dad what happened to me loudly enough for everyone around us to hear including the drunk perv so the dad switched seats with his daughter. Dad and drunk perv had a blast chatting together and as we were getting off the plane dad had to mention to me what a great guy he was.

Men are idiots when it comes to taking women seriously particularly about another man being inappropriate. I remember feeling stupid for speaking up. It still makes me feel sick.

Anonymous wrote:In my 20s, I had a cross country flight and was seated in the window seat next to a man that had spent the many hours before the flight (flying stand-by) drinking in the airport bar. He then ordered three more jack and cokes in quick succession after boarding the flight. The flight attendant then finally cut him off, but he was beyond slurring his words and falling over in his seat. I had my book up literally blocking him from leaning over onto my shoulder and he kept trying to pull it down. The nice man with the aisle seat finally starting trying to engage him to get him off of me.

My teen daughter has flown alone a couple of times and I've told her that if the man next to her touches her in anything other than an accidental way, she is to start yelling immediately that he is assaulting her and she needs to be reseated. There are way too many stories of teen girls trying to be nice and reasonable about it, and then the airline just totally ignores them.

Also, I really don't think anyone should have more than 2 drinks on any flight.

Anonymous wrote:The reasons I think this one is likely being over dramatized by the compliant is:

1. the creep's actions are so egregious that there's almost no way they would have been ignored by the flight attendants
2. the creep's actions are so egregious that it's highly likely that another passenger would have observed the behavior and also brought it to the flight attendants' attention (which brings us back to #1 --> even more reason the flight attendants would have likely done something)
3. the creep's actions are so egregious that it was likely (50%+?) that another male passenger would have intervened. Either offering to change seats, or even developing into a physical altercation. I'm not good enough of a person, but I'm always amazed at how often men step in to do offer physical protection in these types of situations.

Point being, if the actions ventured anywhere close to what the complaint claims, it makes very little sense that it didn't get caught in one of the above nets.

Horrible to say, I'm also somewhat skeptical of 15 year old girls as barometers of personal safety and comfort, especially ones who self report as having a panic attack based solely on (at that time) verbal harassment. As my kids near teenaged years, I'm shocked by how coddled and emotionally stunted a lot of the 15 year old girls are. Like, we live in a small, wealthy city in the south where I WFH, and my neighbor is a doctor (works 10 minutes from home) with 15 year old twin girls. A couple weeks ago, I got a daytime call from my friend because her girls are home and someone knocked on the door of the house and "they are freaking out" and called their mom at work, who had to call me to make sure everything was okay on the street. Just because there was a knock on the door. That's absolutely insane developmental stunting, and if they were on a plane with a drunk creep who was asking them gross questions, they would totally over react, cite "trauma" and their dad would 100% go up the chain to get some kind of apology or action. I don't think all 15 year old girls are this sheltered, but a lot of them apparently are these days. So when the story turns on the girl self-reporting a panic attack, and feeling highly uncomfortable, i could see there being some fragile egg business going on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do airlines not have a maximum? Say 2 drinks per flight or something?

And no one needs more than 2 drinks (or any drinks at all) on an overseas flight. If you do, you have a massive problem.

No one needs more than 2 and preferably 0? Did someone from the temperance union get a Time Machine?

I prefer no drinks on flights bc it just makes me feel worse. But 2 is very easy in business class to europe. The first is the glass of sparkling when you take your seat, the second is a glass of wine with dinner. Many people get an after dinner drink. 2-3 is pretty normal. If I have any at all, I’ll have a glass of wine with dinner. I can’t taste much except astringency and alcohol in the air so there’s no reason I see to have more. But plenty of people do without assaulting anyone.

NP I get the wine with dinner. Wine normally has no effect on me, but wine on a plane? I'm instantly asleep. It's amazing. DH told me about how he has trouble sleeping on planes. I told him to get the beer with dinner. He did and then sleeps well ever since. He flies multiple times a month overseas too.

Your husband is pretty stupid if he flies multiple times a month and hadn’t figured out that booze makes you sleepy on a flight. Not sure he’s qualified to be employed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope they get every dime of the $2M lawsuit they followed and he needs to be locked up.

Delta’s actions are despicable.

https://people.com/delta-passenger-sexually-assaulted-mom-and-teen-daughter-lawsuit-7567357

The flight attendants belong in jail.

They need to be fired. The reason they did not interfere is that they were probably scared for their own safety, and probably thought a ton of alcohol would make him go to sleep. Flight attendants are routinely harassed. It does not excuse their neglect of passengers, obviously! But, it explains why they did what they did. The result shows that they do not belong in the skies.

They sat back and allowed a minor to be assaulted. They should be sitting in Rikers considering their actions

Are you always this absurdly melodramatic, or only on DCUM?

Riker’s is closing, anyhow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope they get every dime of the $2M lawsuit they followed and he needs to be locked up.

Delta’s actions are despicable.

https://people.com/delta-passenger-sexually-assaulted-mom-and-teen-daughter-lawsuit-7567357

The flight attendants belong in jail.

They need to be fired. The reason they did not interfere is that they were probably scared for their own safety, and probably thought a ton of alcohol would make him go to sleep. Flight attendants are routinely harassed. It does not excuse their neglect of passengers, obviously! But, it explains why they did what they did. The result shows that they do not belong in the skies.

They sat back and allowed a minor to be assaulted. They should be sitting in Rikers considering their actions

Are you always this absurdly melodramatic, or only on DCUM?

Anonymous wrote:doesnt' pass the smell test etc.. is accusing them of lying, so is "seem to be overstating" how do you know

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do airlines not have a maximum? Say 2 drinks per flight or something?

And no one needs more than 2 drinks (or any drinks at all) on an overseas flight. If you do, you have a massive problem.

No one needs more than 2 and preferably 0? Did someone from the temperance union get a Time Machine?

I prefer no drinks on flights bc it just makes me feel worse. But 2 is very easy in business class to europe. The first is the glass of sparkling when you take your seat, the second is a glass of wine with dinner. Many people get an after dinner drink. 2-3 is pretty normal. If I have any at all, I’ll have a glass of wine with dinner. I can’t taste much except astringency and alcohol in the air so there’s no reason I see to have more. But plenty of people do without assaulting anyone.

NP I get the wine with dinner. Wine normally has no effect on me, but wine on a plane? I'm instantly asleep. It's amazing. DH told me about how he has trouble sleeping on planes. I told him to get the beer with dinner. He did and then sleeps well ever since. He flies multiple times a month overseas too.