Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.
Untrue. There are many very pretty single women.
They must still be in their 20s.
A "very pretty" woman would be fending off suitors. There are always exceptions, but in 95% of the cases, a really pretty woman would be scooped up real quick.
A lot of them don’t want to be scooped up and they’re sick of fending off suitors. I’ve been told I’m beautiful objectively and I’m 45 and I always have male attention and I can’t stand it and I’m single because I want to be single because I’m sick of men. They have nothing to offer. They’re always fawning over me and they’re annoying.
Anonymous wrote:As a 45 years old divorced dad I found women in the 30-35 age bracket the most difficult to date. In my opinion and experience, I felt like they were walking around with a clipboard making sure all their ideals were checked. Nothing wrong with being selective it’s just the experience I have had. The easiest ones to date have been women over 35 and those over 30 that are divorced and/or have kids. But single women with no kids between 30 and 35 good luck guys.
Anonymous wrote:When I was young there was time to get to know people a bit before dating. I was never passive about it and would invite guys to our group outings. I had no problem inviting a guy to go for lunch or a hike. If I was interested I’d let a guy know.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.
Untrue. There are many very pretty single women.
They must still be in their 20s.
A "very pretty" woman would be fending off suitors. There are always exceptions, but in 95% of the cases, a really pretty woman would be scooped up real quick.
“Scoooed up” sounds so passive.
I did fend off suitors. Therefore, they were unable to “scoop me up.”
Women are not objects.
Anonymous wrote:I think this will become more a norm. The truth is we are in a hook up culture. Our economy is slowly drifting toward single people and single households. Very soon it will be strange to see a 35+ man or woman who is in a relationship.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:While not in this age group but I recently came in contact with a woman who says that she's 29 and she's never had a boyfriend and she's never had her first kiss yet either
I'm almost 47 and have never had a boyfriend and I've been kissed on the lips twice. Once was sexual harassment* and once was an unfortunate greeting by a senior citizen uncle. *When I reported the kiss to my boss the next day his response was "Why would he do that? I mean, why would he do that to YOU?" I was like wow I guess not only do men not like me but they can't even fathom ANYONE liking me.
STOP IT! If you want to find love, love will find you. Don't think like this another second.
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like my sister in law. She just doesn’t put herself out there. It makes me wonder what the future looks like for her.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.
Untrue. There are many very pretty single women.
They must still be in their 20s.
A "very pretty" woman would be fending off suitors. There are always exceptions, but in 95% of the cases, a really pretty woman would be scooped up real quick.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have a lot of female acquaintances who are 35+ but have never been in a relationship. They are very pretty, educated, professionally successful, and have interesting hobbies. I understand if someone was unlucky in love and hasn’t met the right person, but it’s hard for me to understand never even trying. They might go on the occasional first date but have never had anyone they introduce as a partner or SO and never talk about looking for it. I’m so curious about how this happened but don’t want to be rude and ask them.
I also know men 35+ who have never been in relationships but it seems a bit different — for them it seems more related to social awkwardness, fear of rejection, or laziness. But who knows.
Like how many? I don’t think I know a single adult woman who has never dated someone. Where are you finding all these people?
Anonymous wrote:Weird. I think if I counted up all my time spent single--i.e., not in a serious monogamous relationship, since age 15, it would amount to about a year. I am 46.
There is some truth to this.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I know two women like this. One comes on way too strong too soon (clingy) and then ends up hung up on the guy for months longer than she ever dated him, which prevents her from meeting someone new. She was talking about a guy she dated for 2 months for the better part of a year, including weekly therapy. Nothing especially traumatic happened either.
The other one is a very outgoing, loud personality and uncompromising in all areas of her life. She is fabulous, pretty, has a good career, very busy social life with plans most evenings but it would take someone with a similar lifestyle who also didn't mind sharing the spotlight and I think that is rare.
Yeah, I know someone like this, too. And to make matters worse, the men she obsesses over are players or emotionally unavailable. So she gets in this cycle of casually dating or hooking up with someone for a few weeks who isn't relationship material and doesn't want a relationship, then obsessing over them after they leave her for a year or so, then repeating the cycle. So she's never really paired up with someone, and is always in some state of deep angst.
Back to main question: why? I think my one friend who is in this boat at 38 says it was about missing early chances (likely undiagnosed ADHD) and then it becomes harder and harder to find guys without baggage (divorce, kids or both multiple times).
Think she was a romantic who aspired to tall dark and handsome (and given her pretty should have gotten one of these
She didn’t realize ‘love’ is a timed event.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like my sister in law. She just doesn’t put herself out there. It makes me wonder what the future looks like for her.
This is my sister. She’s in her 40s. Spends her weekends with our parents or her paired up high school friends. I think she’s given up and pretty much went back to being out parents’ little girl and is comfortable with that. It’s her life and choice but in the long run I don’t know what she’s going to do. I think she’s just very used to friends and family constantly accommodating her.
You sound horrible.
It was horrible to watch our parents encourage this for years. Sometimes this situation comes about because of the woman’s family. The parents like bring frozen in time. It’s toxic. I can’t imagine as a parent promoting this situation. They even discouraged her from moving to a new city.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I know two women like this. One comes on way too strong too soon (clingy) and then ends up hung up on the guy for months longer than she ever dated him, which prevents her from meeting someone new. She was talking about a guy she dated for 2 months for the better part of a year, including weekly therapy. Nothing especially traumatic happened either.
The other one is a very outgoing, loud personality and uncompromising in all areas of her life. She is fabulous, pretty, has a good career, very busy social life with plans most evenings but it would take someone with a similar lifestyle who also didn't mind sharing the spotlight and I think that is rare.
Yeah, I know someone like this, too. And to make matters worse, the men she obsesses over are players or emotionally unavailable. So she gets in this cycle of casually dating or hooking up with someone for a few weeks who isn't relationship material and doesn't want a relationship, then obsessing over them after they leave her for a year or so, then repeating the cycle. So she's never really paired up with someone, and is always in some state of deep angst.
Anonymous wrote:I know that people whisper about why I've never really been in a relationship, especially because I'm fairly "normal" and have never had issues attracting men.
It's really just that I've always been very comfortable doing things by myself and don't care very much what people think. AND I'm quite particular about the kind of man I'm attracted to and want to be with. For me, it's a simple equation of "Will I be happier with him or by myself" and so far, the latter has always won out.
Anonymous wrote:Also, if you're much over 35, there just aren't a ton of available guys out there in the wild to meet. Meeting people was easy before 35. After that? Soooo hard. I go out to bars/restaurants and the majority of guys are half my age. I do get hit on, but the guys hitting on me are usually 15-20 years younger and that's kind of weird.
The last few guys I went on dates with seemed cool but then literally talked about themselves the entire time, and never really asked anything about me. That's kind of a turnoff.