Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. This is controversial but I think part of the issue has been the multigenerational lack of large families, meaning that kids don’t have large extended families. There is nothing quite like close cousin relationships especially if they are lucky to be geographically near each other. And siblings may fight like rabid puppies between themselves but they often back each other up outside of the house. I think part of the distress is the breakdown of essentially family clans, something we literally evolved with.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Lack of third spaces for kids to gather. When I was a teen, we all hung out at the park, the arcade, the mall, or the local diner. Now teens get chased out of those places. Kids out in public alone are regarded with suspicion. Cops hassle them for loitering. In our small town, there’s constant tension over MS and HS kids walking into town on early release days and going into the convenience store, the drugstore, and the coffee shop.

Granted, the kids aren’t the best about watching out for traffic, and there have been issues with shoplifting, rude behavior, etc., but it’s so important for them to have those spaces to congregate. At some point, they need to learn how to be out in the community without adult supervision.

Even going to each other’s houses is complicated, at least before they get their driver’s licenses. When we were kids, we could spontaneously hop on the bus with a friend after school and then walk home or get picked up. These days, play dates have to be negotiated days in advance and agreed on by mutual treaty with parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It all funnels back to phones/computers/social media.

1) they aren’t interacting bc of these things.
They would rather be on phone/computer

2) public parks are empty bc kids are at home on computers

3) parents are forced to be over involved and over parent, because if they didn’t, teens would be on their computer/phone all day long. Parents have to schedule things in order to get them off computer/phone.

Which ultimately boils down to

1) we know these devices and apps are addictive, but we as parents gave them to our kids anyway, and

2) we don’t really trust our kids to make good decisions for themselves and we are terrified of them having to face actual consequences (probably because we fear it will just reflect poorly on us?).

So they have no sense of agency, gobs of entitlement and devices in their hands that are designed to prey on their deepest insecurities.

Most teens are incapable of setting heathy limits with their devices. Same as most adults, to be honest.

Devices and computers are here to stay. Having your kid being the only teenager without one isn’t the solution.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It all funnels back to phones/computers/social media.

1) they aren’t interacting bc of these things.
They would rather be on phone/computer

2) public parks are empty bc kids are at home on computers

3) parents are forced to be over involved and over parent, because if they didn’t, teens would be on their computer/phone all day long. Parents have to schedule things in order to get them off computer/phone.

Which ultimately boils down to

1) we know these devices and apps are addictive, but we as parents gave them to our kids anyway, and

2) we don’t really trust our kids to make good decisions for themselves and we are terrified of them having to face actual consequences (probably because we fear it will just reflect poorly on us?).

So they have no sense of agency, gobs of entitlement and devices in their hands that are designed to prey on their deepest insecurities.

Anonymous wrote:It all funnels back to phones/computers/social media.

1) they aren’t interacting bc of these things.
They would rather be on phone/computer

2) public parks are empty bc kids are at home on computers

3) parents are forced to be over involved and over parent, because if they didn’t, teens would be on their computer/phone all day long. Parents have to schedule things in order to get them off computer/phone.

Anonymous wrote:Lack of third spaces for kids to gather. When I was a teen, we all hung out at the park, the arcade, the mall, or the local diner. Now teens get chased out of those places. Kids out in public alone are regarded with suspicion. Cops hassle them for loitering. In our small town, there’s constant tension over MS and HS kids walking into town on early release days and going into the convenience store, the drugstore, and the coffee shop.

Granted, the kids aren’t the best about watching out for traffic, and there have been issues with shoplifting, rude behavior, etc., but it’s so important for them to have those spaces to congregate. At some point, they need to learn how to be out in the community without adult supervision.

Even going to each other’s houses is complicated, at least before they get their driver’s licenses. When we were kids, we could spontaneously hop on the bus with a friend after school and then walk home or get picked up. These days, play dates have to be negotiated days in advance and agreed on by mutual treaty with parents.

Anonymous wrote:It all funnels back to phones/computers/social media.

1) they aren’t interacting bc of these things.
They would rather be on phone/computer

2) public parks are empty bc kids are at home on computers

3) parents are forced to be over involved and over parent, because if they didn’t, teens would be on their computer/phone all day long. Parents have to schedule things in order to get them off computer/phone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, the teen birth rate is at a record low, re: teens moving in a positive direction.

Hmm also likely means less sex and relationships which may be contributing to sadness

By relationships do you only mean dating? I personally prefer that my child not date or be sexually active as a teen. I can’t prevent it of course, but I would prefer that.

No dating at all?

I said “prefer.” Of course they will likely date and I won’t be a roadblock to that. But I’d still prefer if they didn’t in high school.

Don't do this. You want your child's first experiences dating to be in your home, under your watch. My parents didn't let me date and I got to college fairly clueless about relationships and dating and how to navigate them and all the freedom that comes with college. I think if I had been able to test the waters in a controlled and safe environment while at home with my parents who could also guide me, I would have been better prepared for or might even have avoided some of the emotional and other situations I encountered in college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing I did was send my daughter to a private school that does not allow cell phones.

They have limited computer time as well


I have heard parents rationalize kids have to have cell phones for school shootings. Just wow

Curious as to how old your daugther is? A boy in my kid's class that did not get a phone until high school is now on every bad site out there.

What does that have to do with anything? You don’t think staring at a screen all day from K-12th has repercussions? So the boy is on all the “bad sites” at age 15 instead of 8? How is that a bad thing? LOL

Not the PP, but my daughter’s school they must be locked in the lockers. If seen (not even being used) they get AM detention, meaning the parents have to drive them in an hour before school starts. It works amazingly well.