I went on a trip to Europe with my high school band when i was 14, about to turn 15. We stayed in hotel rooms without adults and many days were “free days” meaning we just had to be back for check in at 8pm or whenever. So we wandered around London at age 14 and then, gasp, slept in a hotel room without an adult present. So posters saying they wouldn’t let a , say, 12 or 13 year old be alone in a hotel room for an hour sound bizarre to me

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are still little so who knows what I'll do when the time comes, but I think 13 would be fine. When I was 13, I started staying at home by myself every day after school until my parents got home from work, about 3 hours.

Your home is not a hotel.

You’re right, tons more ways for a kid to get injured and tons more access from neighbors, package delivery guys, etc.

That’s the most desperate stretch in an attempt to justify.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t any of you use neighborhood kids as babysitters? You really wouldn’t leave a 16 year-old alone in a hotel room but you would leave one in your home watching your toddler?

No, wouldn’t do that either. Thanks for trying.

Wait you really wouldn’t allow a 16 year old to spend a few hours alone? You know some kids go to college at 17 I hope

The post they replied to asked about allowing a 16 year old to babysit your toddler.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are still little so who knows what I'll do when the time comes, but I think 13 would be fine. When I was 13, I started staying at home by myself every day after school until my parents got home from work, about 3 hours.

Your home is not a hotel.

You’re right, tons more ways for a kid to get injured and tons more access from neighbors, package delivery guys, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people on this post err on the side of hysterical.

Obviously, a 3-year-old should not be left alone. At a certain point though, it really depends on the child, but generally, I think 12 is fine, especially if there are some ground rules and they have a phone.

Or have a drink brought up to the room. There’s an idea!

Why though? Why wouldn't you trust a 12-year-old in this situation?

Can’t be a serious question.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t any of you use neighborhood kids as babysitters? You really wouldn’t leave a 16 year-old alone in a hotel room but you would leave one in your home watching your toddler?

No, wouldn’t do that either. Thanks for trying.

Wait you really wouldn’t allow a 16 year old to spend a few hours alone? You know some kids go to college at 17 I hope

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I’m not reading 15 pages of this, but I can’t believe how uptight most of dcum is.

Didn’t you all go on class trips and stay in hotel rooms without adults? I recall being 11-12 in a room with friends. What’s wrong with that?

No I did not go on class trips and stay in hotel rooms at that age.

I did, and my kids have as well. 5th grade trip, 3 kids per room. Adults in separate rooms.

At age 9 our kids walked to/from school on their own. Age 10, had free roam of a cruise ship. Got themselves to/from kids club and had to check in with us when they returned to the cabin for the evening. Middle School aged now - stayed alone in airbnb condo in Hawaii while Dh and went to dinner 30 minutes away. They ride metro and buses by themselves to get around with their friends. They love the independence and most of their friends have the same levels of freedom. We are not outliers among our circle of parents.

If your kid is high anxiety and not used to traveling, that's one thing. if you and kids are comfortable, and used to having independence and responsibility, it's a different story.

Yeah, I’m sure the cruise ship appreciated that your kids had free roam of it. Of course they love the independence, what kid would not want to do whatever they want. There’s a reason you are an outlier of circle of parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Once we had kids, we changed our vacation habits. We bought a timeshare and also starting renting cottages whenever possible.

So much more pleasant. Put the kiddos to bed, then hang out in the living room, sharing nice meals, drinking wine, etc.

We also used resort babysitters. Once the kids hit their teens, they were plenty ready to stay for a bit on their own in a hotel room.

You bought a time share? Are you posting from 1989?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people on this post err on the side of hysterical.

Obviously, a 3-year-old should not be left alone. At a certain point though, it really depends on the child, but generally, I think 12 is fine, especially if there are some ground rules and they have a phone.

Or have a drink brought up to the room. There’s an idea!

Why though? Why wouldn't you trust a 12-year-old in this situation?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I’m not reading 15 pages of this, but I can’t believe how uptight most of dcum is.

Didn’t you all go on class trips and stay in hotel rooms without adults? I recall being 11-12 in a room with friends. What’s wrong with that?

No I did not go on class trips and stay in hotel rooms at that age.

I did, and my kids have as well. 5th grade trip, 3 kids per room. Adults in separate rooms.

At age 9 our kids walked to/from school on their own. Age 10, had free roam of a cruise ship. Got themselves to/from kids club and had to check in with us when they returned to the cabin for the evening. Middle School aged now - stayed alone in airbnb condo in Hawaii while Dh and went to dinner 30 minutes away. They ride metro and buses by themselves to get around with their friends. They love the independence and most of their friends have the same levels of freedom. We are not outliers among our circle of parents.

If your kid is high anxiety and not used to traveling, that's one thing. if you and kids are comfortable, and used to having independence and responsibility, it's a different story.

I had to leave my 4.5 year old in a hotel room alone - he woke up with Covid and I needed to go RUN to pick up a rental car. DH was back home and watched him (he was sleeping) from my ipad on Facetime with his work phone while I stayed on the phone with DH on his other phone. I've never run so fast in my life! Not my proudest parenting moment but it was all fine. But I don't think I would have chosen to leave him at that age and in normal circumstances.

To answer OP's question - I think I would be ok with leaving him around 8-9yo but only if I had a Ring stick and/or FaceTime the entire time and it was for a short time and quick access to the room. I say this now, but I have never been a mom to an 8-9yo!

But it is tough to travel with small children in a hotel room. We try and book rooms with balconies where DH and I can have a drink, talk, read while the kids sleep. But they are pricy and sometimes hard to come by. We also take turns - one will go explore the city or grab a drink while the other stays with the kids. Not ideal but not too many alternatives!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age would you feel comfortable with putting a kid to sleep in a hotel room and then going downstairs in the same building to get a drink or hang out in a lounge? Assume kid has a phone and knows how to call the adults in an emergency….

I did this with my kids when they were 8 or 9.

I probably would not go around admitting that.

Meh. They were sound sleepers. We'd put them to bed and then go downstairs to get a beer. It was maybe 30 -45 minutes. No problems. The likelihood that someone is going to kidnap your child out of a hotel room is slim to none. People are too paranoid.

The ^^^^ poster is back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is someone (or maybe more than one) who takes almost any mention of alcohol as an opportunity to accuse someone of being an alcoholic.

Unfortunately, I've dealt with alcoholism in my immediate family, so I certainly understand if you have trauma related to drinking and know your pain. But the mere mention of a drink doesn't warrant you throwing out snide comments about alcoholism and AA. Or maybe you're a dry drunk?

If a person cannot stay without a drink one night at a bar, I think that warrants an assumption of an alcoholic issue.

It seems it's more about quiet time/adult time and less about alcohol. I am sorry you've been hurt.

Never hurt, but nice try. Quiet time can come at an appropriate place and time. I am sorry you’ve been inconvenienced by your children.

Sure thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age would you feel comfortable with putting a kid to sleep in a hotel room and then going downstairs in the same building to get a drink or hang out in a lounge? Assume kid has a phone and knows how to call the adults in an emergency….

I did this with my kids when they were 8 or 9.

I probably would not go around admitting that.