Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is becoming abusive. Just stop it everyone.

Op here. The crazy thing is that the thread as it is now is after I reported a ton of comments and Jeff deleted them. People telling me to rehome my child, that I should have aborted him, that I’m a terrible person and a terrible mother.

I guess this subject has really hit a nerve.

You aired something uncomfortable. Folks have opinions. The nerves are your own.

DP. Folks on anonymous forums are digusting pathetic losers who harass and abuse people with impunity. Most of the posts on here are not "opinions". An "opinion" is "I think you should cancel your trip". That's all most people need to say but they go way beyond that for their own sick entertainment.

So the “whole family” includes everyone but your special needs kid.

Got.
It.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is becoming abusive. Just stop it everyone.

Op here. The crazy thing is that the thread as it is now is after I reported a ton of comments and Jeff deleted them. People telling me to rehome my child, that I should have aborted him, that I’m a terrible person and a terrible mother.

I guess this subject has really hit a nerve.

You aired something uncomfortable. Folks have opinions. The nerves are your own.

Going on a one week vacation without a 2 year does not call for telling someone to abort or rehome a child. "Folks" are a-holes.

-not OP

That’s def over the top. But it’s not unreasonable to say she isn’t being a thoughtful parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is becoming abusive. Just stop it everyone.

Op here. The crazy thing is that the thread as it is now is after I reported a ton of comments and Jeff deleted them. People telling me to rehome my child, that I should have aborted him, that I’m a terrible person and a terrible mother.

I guess this subject has really hit a nerve.

You aired something uncomfortable. Folks have opinions. The nerves are your own.

Going on a one week vacation without a 2 year does not call for telling someone to abort or rehome a child. "Folks" are a-holes.

-not OP

Are you new here? That’s par for the course for DCUM. I posted about an unexpected pregnancy once and got a pile of “get an abortion” posts. People suck on here. You have to learn to ignore them and find the gems.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is becoming abusive. Just stop it everyone.

Op here. The crazy thing is that the thread as it is now is after I reported a ton of comments and Jeff deleted them. People telling me to rehome my child, that I should have aborted him, that I’m a terrible person and a terrible mother.

I guess this subject has really hit a nerve.

You aired something uncomfortable. Folks have opinions. The nerves are your own.

Going on a one week vacation without a 2 year does not call for telling someone to abort or rehome a child. "Folks" are a-holes.

-not OP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is becoming abusive. Just stop it everyone.

Op here. The crazy thing is that the thread as it is now is after I reported a ton of comments and Jeff deleted them. People telling me to rehome my child, that I should have aborted him, that I’m a terrible person and a terrible mother.

I guess this subject has really hit a nerve.

You aired something uncomfortable. Folks have opinions. The nerves are your own.

Anonymous wrote:This thread is becoming abusive. Just stop it everyone.

Op here. The crazy thing is that the thread as it is now is after I reported a ton of comments and Jeff deleted them. People telling me to rehome my child, that I should have aborted him, that I’m a terrible person and a terrible mother.

I guess this subject has really hit a nerve.

This thread is becoming abusive. Just stop it everyone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have zero empathy for money lost. You planned an international trip during COVID. That’s just poor judgment.

Op here. I planned it in Jan 2021 when we all thought the vaccines were gonna save us.

There was no child vaccine in sight then. Poor planning all around.

Anonymous wrote:OP - what did you decide to do? If it were me, I would cancel the trip. or just postpone it. Think of it that way - it'll be less of a drag. And then go somewhere closer for a great whole-family trip. I'm sorry this happened - it sucks!

Op here. I haven’t decided yet. Since we can’t cancel and get anything back, I have some time to decide still. I did talk it over with my mom again and she was emphatic that she thinks DS will do great with the nanny and we should still go.

Anonymous wrote:I have zero empathy for money lost. You planned an international trip during COVID. That’s just poor judgment.

Op here. I planned it in Jan 2021 when we all thought the vaccines were gonna save us.

I have zero empathy for money lost. You planned an international trip during COVID. That’s just poor judgment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how you have multiple nannies but can't afford to cancel this trip and book something suitable for the entire family.

THIS! The OP's BS story is that she has spent all her money on this one vacation and it's all non-refundable, and yet, she has two nannies and can afford to pay the regular nanny for a week of 24/7 care (plus overtime b/c I'm sure OP complies with all local employment laws).

Honestly, this sounds like some psych student's attempt to create a new wire-monkey mother narrative.

This is such a good point that I hadn’t thought of. OP, any response to this? Clearly this isn’t about the money.

Op here. It’s complex and multi factorial. Some factors are-we live in a very low cost of living area so having nannies is much cheaper here than in DC. Also, we get a tax break on the nanny wages which helps. Part of the challenge in just cancelling and doing another trip is financial, another piece of it is work schedule driven-this is the only time that DH can really travel. We can’t just do another trip like this at some other time this year. We could cancel this trip and try to plan another trip, but it couldn’t include plane travel and we live in the Midwest, there’s not a lot of fun things within reasonable driving distance and things are booked at Christmas. Another factor probably is the sunk cost fallacy-we couldn’t recoup the costs we’ve already spent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how you have multiple nannies but can't afford to cancel this trip and book something suitable for the entire family.

THIS! The OP's BS story is that she has spent all her money on this one vacation and it's all non-refundable, and yet, she has two nannies and can afford to pay the regular nanny for a week of 24/7 care (plus overtime b/c I'm sure OP complies with all local employment laws).

Honestly, this sounds like some psych student's attempt to create a new wire-monkey mother narrative.

This is such a good point that I hadn’t thought of. OP, any response to this? Clearly this isn’t about the money.

I would CONSIDER leaving a toddler with loving grandparents. But a nanny? For a whole week? Especially when you say he has SN meaning he won’t follow directions and throws lots of tantrums? No. Even forgetting entirely about your child (which you shouldn’t), it’s just too much to ask of your nanny without even an hour here or there to unwind.