Anonymous wrote:You mean the one where he left for his soulmate AP, we divorced and their relationship lasted as long as a textbook limerence affair lasts? About two years give or take a couple months? Completely obliterated our marriage for a fantasy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: histrionic personality disorder. They equate drama and strife with love

Why would drama and strife be synonymous with love?

just psycho-babble, fancy words meaning nothing, if they use them we believe they must be smart to figure it out and so we pay their fee

stop shaming the cheaters, stop putting them in therapy and giving them pills to numb their feelings, let them live their lives the way they want it, it’s between them and their spouse
some people like it spicy, want adrenaline, want lust, want wild sex and blowjobs every morning and evening, that’s how they want their life, nothing wrong with it, just spouse may not like it, everyone is free to leave the relationship, divorce is legal, get self-sufficient and learn to live without latching on someone else, if there are children then that is your priority, keeping them safe and making them feel both parents love them no matter what happens between partners
nobody is destroying any lives, stop making it dramatic, only death destroys life, it’s traumatic but so are many things, seeing children get shot in schools that’s dramatic not your spouse getting sex somewhere else because of you are not in the mood for months or years, either take it or leave it

Nothing wrong with lying. Huh. You were going good there for a while but if you’re going to hang your life manifesto on being too cowardly to live your truth openly and be honest with your family, you might want to look at that.

Sure, live your life. Be self sufficient. But other people, especially those whom you promised certain things to, have the right to expect to be informed. That’s basic honesty. Be real — you’re too scared to tell your wife to go kick rocks, you hope she won’t find out so you don’t have to actually be self sufficient, so you go behind her back while spouting BS about it.

well, it says nothing wrong with wanting those things, not that lying is ok. as you may have read around here, some spouses do not want to know. and if relationship is sexless just delaying telling the other one until making sure one really wants to leave the marriage not just testing the waters is not lying by omission, is I’ll tell you when I’m ready, why rock the boat and drowning everyone before reaching safe waters

You are disgusting. So you will continue to f@ck other men until you can find one that will leave his marriage too and take on supporting you? You need to get therapy. There is no dating around when your are married with a family for gods sakes. Oh-you also have a 2% chance. It’s much more likely you will be caught cheating eventually.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: histrionic personality disorder. They equate drama and strife with love

Why would drama and strife be synonymous with love?

just psycho-babble, fancy words meaning nothing, if they use them we believe they must be smart to figure it out and so we pay their fee

stop shaming the cheaters, stop putting them in therapy and giving them pills to numb their feelings, let them live their lives the way they want it, it’s between them and their spouse
some people like it spicy, want adrenaline, want lust, want wild sex and blowjobs every morning and evening, that’s how they want their life, nothing wrong with it, just spouse may not like it, everyone is free to leave the relationship, divorce is legal, get self-sufficient and learn to live without latching on someone else, if there are children then that is your priority, keeping them safe and making them feel both parents love them no matter what happens between partners
nobody is destroying any lives, stop making it dramatic, only death destroys life, it’s traumatic but so are many things, seeing children get shot in schools that’s dramatic not your spouse getting sex somewhere else because of you are not in the mood for months or years, either take it or leave it

Nothing wrong with lying. Huh. You were going good there for a while but if you’re going to hang your life manifesto on being too cowardly to live your truth openly and be honest with your family, you might want to look at that.

Sure, live your life. Be self sufficient. But other people, especially those whom you promised certain things to, have the right to expect to be informed. That’s basic honesty. Be real — you’re too scared to tell your wife to go kick rocks, you hope she won’t find out so you don’t have to actually be self sufficient, so you go behind her back while spouting BS about it.

well, it says nothing wrong with wanting those things, not that lying is ok. as you may have read around here, some spouses do not want to know. and if relationship is sexless just delaying telling the other one until making sure one really wants to leave the marriage not just testing the waters is not lying by omission, is I’ll tell you when I’m ready, why rock the boat and drowning everyone before reaching safe waters

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know about limerance, but my spouse had a limerick affair.

There once was a spouse who was horny
It led to problems very thorny
Wedding vows they broke
Hurt multiple folk
Now multiple lives are all torn-y.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: histrionic personality disorder. They equate drama and strife with love

Why would drama and strife be synonymous with love?

just psycho-babble, fancy words meaning nothing, if they use them we believe they must be smart to figure it out and so we pay their fee

stop shaming the cheaters, stop putting them in therapy and giving them pills to numb their feelings, let them live their lives the way they want it, it’s between them and their spouse
some people like it spicy, want adrenaline, want lust, want wild sex and blowjobs every morning and evening, that’s how they want their life, nothing wrong with it, just spouse may not like it, everyone is free to leave the relationship, divorce is legal, get self-sufficient and learn to live without latching on someone else, if there are children then that is your priority, keeping them safe and making them feel both parents love them no matter what happens between partners
nobody is destroying any lives, stop making it dramatic, only death destroys life, it’s traumatic but so are many things, seeing children get shot in schools that’s dramatic not your spouse getting sex somewhere else because of you are not in the mood for months or years, either take it or leave it

Nothing wrong with lying. Huh. You were going good there for a while but if you’re going to hang your life manifesto on being too cowardly to live your truth openly and be honest with your family, you might want to look at that.

Sure, live your life. Be self sufficient. But other people, especially those whom you promised certain things to, have the right to expect to be informed. That’s basic honesty. Be real — you’re too scared to tell your wife to go kick rocks, you hope she won’t find out so you don’t have to actually be self sufficient, so you go behind her back while spouting BS about it.

well, it says nothing wrong with wanting those things, not that lying is ok. as you may have read around here, some spouses do not want to know. and if relationship is sexless just delaying telling the other one until making sure one really wants to leave the marriage not just testing the waters is not lying by omission, is I’ll tell you when I’m ready, why rock the boat and drowning everyone before reaching safe waters

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: histrionic personality disorder. They equate drama and strife with love

Why would drama and strife be synonymous with love?

just psycho-babble, fancy words meaning nothing, if they use them we believe they must be smart to figure it out and so we pay their fee

stop shaming the cheaters, stop putting them in therapy and giving them pills to numb their feelings, let them live their lives the way they want it, it’s between them and their spouse
some people like it spicy, want adrenaline, want lust, want wild sex and blowjobs every morning and evening, that’s how they want their life, nothing wrong with it, just spouse may not like it, everyone is free to leave the relationship, divorce is legal, get self-sufficient and learn to live without latching on someone else, if there are children then that is your priority, keeping them safe and making them feel both parents love them no matter what happens between partners
nobody is destroying any lives, stop making it dramatic, only death destroys life, it’s traumatic but so are many things, seeing children get shot in schools that’s dramatic not your spouse getting sex somewhere else because of you are not in the mood for months or years, either take it or leave it

Nothing wrong with lying. Huh. You were going good there for a while but if you’re going to hang your life manifesto on being too cowardly to live your truth openly and be honest with your family, you might want to look at that.

Sure, live your life. Be self sufficient. But other people, especially those whom you promised certain things to, have the right to expect to be informed. That’s basic honesty. Be real — you’re too scared to tell your wife to go kick rocks, you hope she won’t find out so you don’t have to actually be self sufficient, so you go behind her back while spouting BS about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: histrionic personality disorder. They equate drama and strife with love

Why would drama and strife be synonymous with love?

just psycho-babble, fancy words meaning nothing, if they use them we believe they must be smart to figure it out and so we pay their fee

stop shaming the cheaters, stop putting them in therapy and giving them pills to numb their feelings, let them live their lives the way they want it, it’s between them and their spouse
some people like it spicy, want adrenaline, want lust, want wild sex and blowjobs every morning and evening, that’s how they want their life, nothing wrong with it, just spouse may not like it, everyone is free to leave the relationship, divorce is legal, get self-sufficient and learn to live without latching on someone else, if there are children then that is your priority, keeping them safe and making them feel both parents love them no matter what happens between partners
nobody is destroying any lives, stop making it dramatic, only death destroys life, it’s traumatic but so are many things, seeing children get shot in schools that’s dramatic not your spouse getting sex somewhere else because of you are not in the mood for months or years, either take it or leave it

Nothing wrong with lying. Huh. You were going good there for a while but if you’re going to hang your life manifesto on being too cowardly to live your truth openly and be honest with your family, you might want to look at that.

Sure, live your life. Be self sufficient. But other people, especially those whom you promised certain things to, have the right to expect to be informed. That’s basic honesty. Be real — you’re too scared to tell your wife to go kick rocks, you hope she won’t find out so you don’t have to actually be self sufficient, so you go behind her back while spouting BS about it.

Fairly certain you are responding to a wife, not a husband.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: histrionic personality disorder. They equate drama and strife with love

Why would drama and strife be synonymous with love?

just psycho-babble, fancy words meaning nothing, if they use them we believe they must be smart to figure it out and so we pay their fee

stop shaming the cheaters, stop putting them in therapy and giving them pills to numb their feelings, let them live their lives the way they want it, it’s between them and their spouse
some people like it spicy, want adrenaline, want lust, want wild sex and blowjobs every morning and evening, that’s how they want their life, nothing wrong with it, just spouse may not like it, everyone is free to leave the relationship, divorce is legal, get self-sufficient and learn to live without latching on someone else, if there are children then that is your priority, keeping them safe and making them feel both parents love them no matter what happens between partners
nobody is destroying any lives, stop making it dramatic, only death destroys life, it’s traumatic but so are many things, seeing children get shot in schools that’s dramatic not your spouse getting sex somewhere else because of you are not in the mood for months or years, either take it or leave it

Nothing wrong with lying. Huh. You were going good there for a while but if you’re going to hang your life manifesto on being too cowardly to live your truth openly and be honest with your family, you might want to look at that.

Sure, live your life. Be self sufficient. But other people, especially those whom you promised certain things to, have the right to expect to be informed. That’s basic honesty. Be real — you’re too scared to tell your wife to go kick rocks, you hope she won’t find out so you don’t have to actually be self sufficient, so you go behind her back while spouting BS about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: histrionic personality disorder. They equate drama and strife with love

Why would drama and strife be synonymous with love?

just psycho-babble, fancy words meaning nothing, if they use them we believe they must be smart to figure it out and so we pay their fee

stop shaming the cheaters, stop putting them in therapy and giving them pills to numb their feelings, let them live their lives the way they want it, it’s between them and their spouse
some people like it spicy, want adrenaline, want lust, want wild sex and blowjobs every morning and evening, that’s how they want their life, nothing wrong with it, just spouse may not like it, everyone is free to leave the relationship, divorce is legal, get self-sufficient and learn to live without latching on someone else, if there are children then that is your priority, keeping them safe and making them feel both parents love them no matter what happens between partners
nobody is destroying any lives, stop making it dramatic, only death destroys life, it’s traumatic but so are many things, seeing children get shot in schools that’s dramatic not your spouse getting sex somewhere else because of you are not in the mood for months or years, either take it or leave it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Current status: Separated with kids. ExW had an ongoing affair that turned physical. At first, we tried to work through it and realized that nothing I could do was right anymore. A lot of gaslighting occurred. Married for 16 years, together 22.

I don't think that people who have affairs think twice about the damage and carnage they leave behind. They're happy with their newfound love at the expense of their kids. I see my kids every day and my heart breaks for them. There's a fire that's missing from their eyes. I can't ever forgive her for that.

That's so sad. I'm so sorry.

And, I agree with you, that "most" people don't care about the damage and carnage. However, there are a few out there that truly do and spend a lifetime making up for it and changing their coping skills/ways. But, they certainly underestimate the damage and carnage when they first embark on cheating--they do mental gymnastics to justify it in their minds.

Your husband will do it again.

hey genius, it was the wife who had the affair. so according to your logic, SHE will do it again.