Anonymous wrote:Sour grapes! I am not a social scientist, but it should be obvious that people are happier and families benefit when adults do what they want with their lives (as long as they aren't hurting anyone).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s envious. End of story.

definitely this.

So what would you say about women who have plenty of personal money and choose to work? And also have wonderful relationships with their children?

They are liars or their children are very young. No one always has wonderful relationships with their children, no matter what their working status.

So in your opinion why donstay at home moms claim they have better relationships with / “are doing it for” their children, despite research showing no effect on kids?

Because they probably do have better relationships. There is a long way between “better” and “wonderful.”

And every study that I have ever seen shows that when families are in the situation described above (stable marriage with plenty of money), that the kids are better off with stay at home mothers.

There aren't any large, peer-reviewed studies that say that. I am familiar with the academic work that is considered accepted, valid research, and there aren't any that say the bolded.

https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/bul-136-6-915.pdf

You have now seen this meta analysis. You’re welcome.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t say it to your face but I agree with her.
- Independently wealthy and working in a meaningful job

NP here. I would not say anything on your face, PP, but I wonder why is that your family not meaningful to you? Why is being with them and nurturing them not the most meaningful, loving and fulfilling job you could ever do? If you think that only little kids need a full time mom then you are deluded and not really been involved in raising kids. You have outsourced raising your kids (if you have kids) and it was probably ok for your family. Older kids need you differently, but not less. But, that is a moot point - your family is not the most meaningful and time consuming thing for you - and that is your prerogative.

I find people who say or think like the PP above, very unenlightened.

OP, you have the most meaningful and wonderful job in the world. If you have the money to take care of your needs and some wants, then feel free to LIVE your life and spend time with your family.

Stay Blessed!

D

it's not a job. Everyone's kids grow up.

Dp Ok if it isn't a job than why do you have to pay your nannies or daycare? Why don't they do it out of LOOOOVE for your precious snowflakes?

SAHM here, and I hate this argument. Being a parent and caring for your own children isn't a job. It's a relationship.

If that doesn't make sense to you, think about brushing your teeth, delivering a Christmas gift to your mom, or having sex with your husband. Yes, you could pay someone to do those things, and when you do, they are doing a job. But when you are doing them yourself, it isn't a job. It's part of maintaining an important relationship with yourself, your mother, or your husband.

This is why being a present, available parent is so important to most people. It isn't a monetary calculation. It isn't because this job is preferable to some other job. It's because this relationship is important, and many people will give up something substantial, far more than the salary of a paid employee, in order to be able to do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t say it to your face but I agree with her.
- Independently wealthy and working in a meaningful job

NP here. I would not say anything on your face, PP, but I wonder why is that your family not meaningful to you? Why is being with them and nurturing them not the most meaningful, loving and fulfilling job you could ever do? If you think that only little kids need a full time mom then you are deluded and not really been involved in raising kids. You have outsourced raising your kids (if you have kids) and it was probably ok for your family. Older kids need you differently, but not less. But, that is a moot point - your family is not the most meaningful and time consuming thing for you - and that is your prerogative.

I find people who say or think like the PP above, very unenlightened.

OP, you have the most meaningful and wonderful job in the world. If you have the money to take care of your needs and some wants, then feel free to LIVE your life and spend time with your family.

Stay Blessed!

D

it's not a job. Everyone's kids grow up.

Dp Ok if it isn't a job than why do you have to pay your nannies or daycare? Why don't they do it out of LOOOOVE for your precious snowflakes?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s envious. End of story.

definitely this.

So what would you say about women who have plenty of personal money and choose to work? And also have wonderful relationships with their children?

They are liars or their children are very young. No one always has wonderful relationships with their children, no matter what their working status.

So in your opinion why donstay at home moms claim they have better relationships with / “are doing it for” their children, despite research showing no effect on kids?

Because they probably do have better relationships. There is a long way between “better” and “wonderful.”

And every study that I have ever seen shows that when families are in the situation described above (stable marriage with plenty of money), that the kids are better off with stay at home mothers.

There aren't any large, peer-reviewed studies that say that. I am familiar with the academic work that is considered accepted, valid research, and there aren't any that say the bolded.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s envious. End of story.

definitely this.

So what would you say about women who have plenty of personal money and choose to work? And also have wonderful relationships with their children?

They are liars or their children are very young. No one always has wonderful relationships with their children, no matter what their working status.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s envious. End of story.

definitely this.

So what would you say about women who have plenty of personal money and choose to work? And also have wonderful relationships with their children?

They are liars or their children are very young. No one always has wonderful relationships with their children, no matter what their working status.

So in your opinion why donstay at home moms claim they have better relationships with / “are doing it for” their children, despite research showing no effect on kids?

Because they probably do have better relationships. There is a long way between “better” and “wonderful.”

And every study that I have ever seen shows that when families are in the situation described above (stable marriage with plenty of money), that the kids are better off with stay at home mothers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s envious. End of story.

definitely this.

So what would you say about women who have plenty of personal money and choose to work? And also have wonderful relationships with their children?

They are liars or their children are very young. No one always has wonderful relationships with their children, no matter what their working status.

So in your opinion why donstay at home moms claim they have better relationships with / “are doing it for” their children, despite research showing no effect on kids?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s envious. End of story.

definitely this.

So what would you say about women who have plenty of personal money and choose to work? And also have wonderful relationships with their children?

They are liars or their children are very young. No one always has wonderful relationships with their children, no matter what their working status.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s envious. End of story.

definitely this.

So what would you say about women who have plenty of personal money and choose to work? And also have wonderful relationships with their children?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s envious. End of story.

definitely this.

So what would you say about women who have plenty of personal money and choose to work? And also have wonderful relationships with their children?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t say it to your face but I agree with her.
- Independently wealthy and working in a meaningful job

NP here. I would not say anything on your face, PP, but I wonder why is that your family not meaningful to you? Why is being with them and nurturing them not the most meaningful, loving and fulfilling job you could ever do? If you think that only little kids need a full time mom then you are deluded and not really been involved in raising kids. You have outsourced raising your kids (if you have kids) and it was probably ok for your family. Older kids need you differently, but not less. But, that is a moot point - your family is not the most meaningful and time consuming thing for you - and that is your prerogative.

I find people who say or think like the PP above, very unenlightened.

OP, you have the most meaningful and wonderful job in the world. If you have the money to take care of your needs and some wants, then feel free to LIVE your life and spend time with your family.

Stay Blessed!

D

it's not a job. Everyone's kids grow up.

Dp Ok if it isn't a job than why do you have to pay your nannies or daycare? Why don't they do it out of LOOOOVE for your precious snowflakes?

SAHM here, and I hate this argument. Being a parent and caring for your own children isn't a job. It's a relationship.

If that doesn't make sense to you, think about brushing your teeth, delivering a Christmas gift to your mom, or having sex with your husband. Yes, you could pay someone to do those things, and when you do, they are doing a job. But when you are doing them yourself, it isn't a job. It's part of maintaining an important relationship with yourself, your mother, or your husband.

This is why being a present, available parent is so important to most people. It isn't a monetary calculation. It isn't because this job is preferable to some other job. It's because this relationship is important, and many people will give up something substantial, far more than the salary of a paid employee, in order to be able to do it.

You can pay someone to brush your teeth?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s envious. End of story.

definitely this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t say it to your face but I agree with her.
- Independently wealthy and working in a meaningful job

NP here. I would not say anything on your face, PP, but I wonder why is that your family not meaningful to you? Why is being with them and nurturing them not the most meaningful, loving and fulfilling job you could ever do? If you think that only little kids need a full time mom then you are deluded and not really been involved in raising kids. You have outsourced raising your kids (if you have kids) and it was probably ok for your family. Older kids need you differently, but not less. But, that is a moot point - your family is not the most meaningful and time consuming thing for you - and that is your prerogative.

I find people who say or think like the PP above, very unenlightened.

OP, you have the most meaningful and wonderful job in the world. If you have the money to take care of your needs and some wants, then feel free to LIVE your life and spend time with your family.

Stay Blessed!

D

it's not a job. Everyone's kids grow up.

Dp Ok if it isn't a job than why do you have to pay your nannies or daycare? Why don't they do it out of LOOOOVE for your precious snowflakes?

SAHM here, and I hate this argument. Being a parent and caring for your own children isn't a job. It's a relationship.

If that doesn't make sense to you, think about brushing your teeth, delivering a Christmas gift to your mom, or having sex with your husband. Yes, you could pay someone to do those things, and when you do, they are doing a job. But when you are doing them yourself, it isn't a job. It's part of maintaining an important relationship with yourself, your mother, or your husband.

This is why being a present, available parent is so important to most people. It isn't a monetary calculation. It isn't because this job is preferable to some other job. It's because this relationship is important, and many people will give up something substantial, far more than the salary of a paid employee, in order to be able to do it.