Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you still haven’t answered how you’re going to feel about wrangling 3 kids all weekend at a wedding while your husband and his parents are occupied with the wedding?

After reason the thread, this really strikes me as merely another “I hate my SIL” threads. You’re upset that she has the spotlight, and you and your kids don’t.

OP- I actually hate the spotlight. Hate it so much I didn’t have a wedding and eloped - inconveniencing exactly zero people. And I’ve brought my kids to weddings before that were kid-invited. They were adorable, had so much fun, made great memories, and wedding guests thought they were cute. And I am close to my SIL and DH is very close. As I said, DH thinks she made the decision to impress her friends and will regret it later.

I doubt she will regret it. Really, you sound so judgmental about a pretty innocuous choice that could have been based on any number of considerations.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you still haven’t answered how you’re going to feel about wrangling 3 kids all weekend at a wedding while your husband and his parents are occupied with the wedding?

After reason the thread, this really strikes me as merely another “I hate my SIL” threads. You’re upset that she has the spotlight, and you and your kids don’t.

OP- I actually hate the spotlight. Hate it so much I didn’t have a wedding and eloped - inconveniencing exactly zero people. And I’ve brought my kids to weddings before that were kid-invited. They were adorable, had so much fun, made great memories, and wedding guests thought they were cute. And I am close to my SIL and DH is very close. As I said, DH thinks she made the decision to impress her friends and will regret it later.

So, you did what you wanted to do — no wedding and I am sure at least one person in this great big family of yours that loves to get together because family!!!! was disappointed — but SIL should do what you want for her wedding? Got it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, man. My cousin got married a few years ago. I wanted to leave my kids home, because this is my good-friend cousin, and I wanted to really enjoy myself and have a kids-free special weekend with my husband. My ILs were willing to watch my babies.

Well, my parents and aunts/uncles/other cousins had a fit, Because Family, so I ended up caving and bringing my kids. It was no fun! I had to BF at the very back of the church during the ceremony, and my husband had to put the baby to bed and miss dinner entirely. I had to leave super early with my older kid, who was still very little. No cake or dancing for me!

(And no, we couldn't have afforded to bring my ILs with us to watch the kids, and I wasn't trusting some random, out-of-state babysitter with a 4mo and a 2yo.)

And were your family members who insisted you bring the kids helpful??? If this were my family, I know the answer would be NOPE!

Yeah...ask my mom after her third martini.

Same thing happened to me when mil insisted we bring our kids. It was awful. I think she was just jealous that we were going to let my parents babysit for the entire weekend. Ruined the wedding for me.

Anonymous wrote:Oh, man. My cousin got married a few years ago. I wanted to leave my kids home, because this is my good-friend cousin, and I wanted to really enjoy myself and have a kids-free special weekend with my husband. My ILs were willing to watch my babies.

Well, my parents and aunts/uncles/other cousins had a fit, Because Family, so I ended up caving and bringing my kids. It was no fun! I had to BF at the very back of the church during the ceremony, and my husband had to put the baby to bed and miss dinner entirely. I had to leave super early with my older kid, who was still very little. No cake or dancing for me!

(And no, we couldn't have afforded to bring my ILs with us to watch the kids, and I wasn't trusting some random, out-of-state babysitter with a 4mo and a 2yo.)

We went to my Brothers wedding in Costa Rica with our 3 year old. My Husband took DS back to the hotel and I stayed at the wedding. Had a great time. DH and DS enjoyed the dinner and cake and some dancing (well DS, DH hates dancing) until about 8. I got home around 1 AM. A good time was had by all. DS also enjoyed the time we sent in the rain forest, hiking, the beach and other elements of Costa Rica because we turned it into a family vacation.

It sounds like you could have sent the 2 year old to the hotel with your DH and the new born and stayed and enjoyed the wedding. Or look online and find a babysitter using one of the services that requires background checks. Or you could have told your family that you were not bringing the kids because they were too young and no one was going to see them at the wedding because they were going to be in bed. There are many alternatives you could have selected, you chose the one that meant you didn't get to enjoy the wedding. That is on you.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you still haven’t answered how you’re going to feel about wrangling 3 kids all weekend at a wedding while your husband and his parents are occupied with the wedding?

After reason the thread, this really strikes me as merely another “I hate my SIL” threads. You’re upset that she has the spotlight, and you and your kids don’t.

OP- I actually hate the spotlight. Hate it so much I didn’t have a wedding and eloped - inconveniencing exactly zero people. And I’ve brought my kids to weddings before that were kid-invited. They were adorable, had so much fun, made great memories, and wedding guests thought they were cute. And I am close to my SIL and DH is very close. As I said, DH thinks she made the decision to impress her friends and will regret it later.

I wish more people would just elope. Kids or no kids- weddings can be such a pain!!

For us, it was about cost. Without kids, we had 90 guests. If we had invites kids, it would have been 130+. We got married in San Francisco, and a bigger venue + food and service for the kids would have been $10,000 more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, man. My cousin got married a few years ago. I wanted to leave my kids home, because this is my good-friend cousin, and I wanted to really enjoy myself and have a kids-free special weekend with my husband. My ILs were willing to watch my babies.

Well, my parents and aunts/uncles/other cousins had a fit, Because Family, so I ended up caving and bringing my kids. It was no fun! I had to BF at the very back of the church during the ceremony, and my husband had to put the baby to bed and miss dinner entirely. I had to leave super early with my older kid, who was still very little. No cake or dancing for me!

(And no, we couldn't have afforded to bring my ILs with us to watch the kids, and I wasn't trusting some random, out-of-state babysitter with a 4mo and a 2yo.)

And were your family members who insisted you bring the kids helpful??? If this were my family, I know the answer would be NOPE!

Yeah...ask my mom after her third martini.

I am pro kids in weddings, had them in my own, but you people are ridiculous. Weddings are ENORMOUS financial and logistical affairs. Even small ones have a lot that goes into them.

You know what the wedding is going to be when you get the invitation. Decide if it works for you and plan accordingly.

I don't understand why everyone in the world doesn't like sushi but that doesn't mean I get furious if someone refuses to eat sushi! Different strokes for different folks!

It's probably about cost - for every child that attends an adult gets left off the invite list, or the list grows to a size that's not affordable to the bride/groom.

Anonymous wrote:Oh, man. My cousin got married a few years ago. I wanted to leave my kids home, because this is my good-friend cousin, and I wanted to really enjoy myself and have a kids-free special weekend with my husband. My ILs were willing to watch my babies.

Well, my parents and aunts/uncles/other cousins had a fit, Because Family, so I ended up caving and bringing my kids. It was no fun! I had to BF at the very back of the church during the ceremony, and my husband had to put the baby to bed and miss dinner entirely. I had to leave super early with my older kid, who was still very little. No cake or dancing for me!

(And no, we couldn't have afforded to bring my ILs with us to watch the kids, and I wasn't trusting some random, out-of-state babysitter with a 4mo and a 2yo.)

And were your family members who insisted you bring the kids helpful??? If this were my family, I know the answer would be NOPE!

Oh, man. My cousin got married a few years ago. I wanted to leave my kids home, because this is my good-friend cousin, and I wanted to really enjoy myself and have a kids-free special weekend with my husband. My ILs were willing to watch my babies.

Well, my parents and aunts/uncles/other cousins had a fit, Because Family, so I ended up caving and bringing my kids. It was no fun! I had to BF at the very back of the church during the ceremony, and my husband had to put the baby to bed and miss dinner entirely. I had to leave super early with my older kid, who was still very little. No cake or dancing for me!

(And no, we couldn't have afforded to bring my ILs with us to watch the kids, and I wasn't trusting some random, out-of-state babysitter with a 4mo and a 2yo.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the weddings I've ever gone to that included kids were better and more fun than the weddings that did not (this is true whether I already had kids by then or not).

Just because you have a "with kids" wedding doesn't necessarily mean that I'll bring my own (I will decide best on kids' ages/personalities, and will not bring them if I think they would be disruptive), but it's such a nice gesture if you do, and I think it's good luck, in a way, if you eventually want to have kids of your own. Call it karma or paying it forward, but I think there's something to it.

..............ok...............

Who wants to explain to PP how babies are made?

I went to a wedding recently where nearly all the guests bailed out early to take care of their kids. It was sad. Left right after dinner.

Anonymous wrote:All the weddings I've ever gone to that included kids were better and more fun than the weddings that did not (this is true whether I already had kids by then or not).

Just because you have a "with kids" wedding doesn't necessarily mean that I'll bring my own (I will decide best on kids' ages/personalities, and will not bring them if I think they would be disruptive), but it's such a nice gesture if you do, and I think it's good luck, in a way, if you eventually want to have kids of your own. Call it karma or paying it forward, but I think there's something to it.

..............ok...............